i am alot of things and im not i say im an asshole some might agree others would beg to differ but thats their perogative but im also a great person somewhere in here a few would also beg to differ i dont know what i am anymore but one day i'll find myself today is not that day and neither is tommorow im just myself nothing more nothing less to know me you'll have to meet me and others may say thats dangerous but thats their opinion and their intitlted to it i dont give a damn what they say or what you say i am what i am and im lost in a world that everyone is in i hate my myself because i've never found the one thing i want and i always mess up and fuck up everything i want because i never act when its for me i give away victory to others to appease their wants for that some would call me nice some would call me an idiot both are true and i wish they wern'ti've given up alot of things for the ones i love and care about and i always will because i care to much and thats my best and worst quality my favorite song is scars by papa roach listen
to it and you'll know why.....

YOU HAVE BEEN HACKEDED I WILL EAT YOUR BABYS hi..... shawna was here

read these and you might get to know me

a good day

a good day to me is
having you in my arms
as the rain comes down
with the last lights of the
sun setting on our skin
shineing in millions of
shardsof light bounceing
off of our drenched skin
as i lightly press my lips to
yours feeling the soft and
fullnessof them and your
body as i hold you close to
my body never wanting to let
you go you are my everything
my world my love the one that
makes me smile stupidly just
by hearing your voice you are
my life my heart my soul and
my spirit you are the best and
worst thing in my life your my
favorite addiction...
i love you now and forever

Family

what i consider family
i consider my friends
as my family cause i'm
closer to them than i am
my own family they are my
blood, my soul, my life and
they mean more to me than
a majority of my family and
that may or may not be a
good thing but to me i really
dont give a damn because
i'd pay any price for them more so
than a majority of my acutual family
they are my ties to life the only reason
i stick around otherwise i'd be 6 ft under...

IS THIS LIFE

is this life being in constant pain
is this life throwing me a curveball
is this life hurting my heart
is this life killing me everyday
is this life making me live through all of this
or is it just me wanting to get back up for another beating.....

New scars

new scars is what i feel
on me heart everyday tearing
up at it then sewing it back
together with a searing hot
needle that leaves me with
that brand new scar my newest
ones are from two people i
thought would never hurt me
i guess i was wrong this is my life
i guess getting backstabbed by the
people i trust the most is what is
always going to happen to me will i
ever be able to be just me for one day
and not be reminded of all of you
backstabbers who have hurt me in the
past or should i just leave you all and
never return i have said and felt my heart
flutter and beat faster at the feeling of
only a few that i love but now i think that
i shouldn't feel anymore that i should die
inside and out and be cold to the world
i will be once again the one i used to be
i will be deadndburied.....

I don't know

idon't know who or what i am
but i try to be a very different man
because deep down inside i never
think anyone will take the real me
because im so weird and fucked
up that i don't know anymore who
is who and who is me i am lost
help me find me.....

Shattered

i am shattered my heart is scattered
to the winds i look forever shook
forever weak cannot find what i seek
is all this pain for naught but in vain
forever should i search alone on this perch
on this mountain i find a fountain of my own pain
alone i wait forever is my endeaver to the end of time
forever iam a puppet nothing but a misfit a quizfit

dedicated to all those who have torn my heart apart i pity you... i pity you all.....

New pain

who are you?
i am pain
why are you here?
because you need me again
why do i need you?
because your hurt again and want me to relieve you
relieve me of what?
your feelings
what's wrong about them?
your on the brink of breaking again
what do you mean?
you need to be heartless again thats why im here
why do i need to be heartless?
so you no longer feel all that new and old pain
your right i need you i will be who i was
we are dead and buried

Who am I

am I the friend who always cares
am I the pain that makes you turn away
am I the love that makes you smile
am I the dead that walks
am I the family that is always there
am I the wolf among the sheep
am I the thing that crosses your path and mind
am I the reminder that lasts in your mind
am I the evil that made you bad
am I the good that left you stunned
am I the only one that gives a damn
am I the man you thought i'd be
am I the one you still know
am I the one thats changed
am I the one who needs to die
am I the one who has to take the beating
am I the one who gone
am I the bad memory
am I the good memory
am i the dream that takes you back to eternity
am I the nightmare that never ends
who am I too you i wonder

dedicated to everyone i know

The Edge

i'm over the edge now
im no longer quakeing
im no longer shakeing
im now falling to the abyss
forever in doubt about
my past, my present, and my future
im alone now feeling all this
hate and anger thats built up
over these years quiet and loud i'll
shout it all out one day you'll all hear me
shouting it all out and liveing it up
liveing it down my past is me my present is what
brought me back my future is gone i am that which you
have all made me say hello to callum and goodbye to kelly
for kelly is lost and callum is found he is me and i am him
together we are one apart we are nothing
i am callum and i say that now i am here and you will never hurt kelly again

dedicated to those who have ripped us apart for the last time

Lost

we are lost
will you find us
i hope you do because
we can't take this anymore
we aren't complete
without you...
we are dead
we cannot see
we cannot hear
we cannot smell
we cannot taste
we cannot feel
we cannot think
we need you
you complete us
with you we live
without you we die
again and again
everyday
please find us
we need you we are lost without you

dedicated to the one who completes our soul
and picks the peices of our heart up and puts
them back together...

Should i be forgotten...

should i forget everything and run?
should i remember it all and stay?
should i kill myself and leave this world?
should i help others from that decision?
should i write poems and songs?
should i sing them and play them?
should i tear my heart out for the ones i care for?
should i just let my heart die to them?
should i just be forgotten from the world
so no one cares or would you care?

Am i always there but not the one

why should i care anymore
i'm always treated as if i was trashed
so why don't i go out and get smashed
it seems like a good idea to just say fuck it and buy some drinks
but what's the point when all i get is a chick that prolly stinks
so i'll just think alittle and maybe blink alittle before i stumble over
to that broad who looks fine and find her to just be a timed mine
and just maybe i'll find my mind and quit being so blind
or maybe i'm just in a grind unable to find my mind

dedicated to those who see me listening and being a
good friend for them but never enough to be more or
to be listened to when i need a friend i pity you for your
blindness when you tell me how you hate him or her
and just sit there sounding like a broken record and
you never even saw me for me blast me damn me
just don't ask me to feel sorry for you anymore i'm
tired of hearing it when i told you they wern't good
and you didn't listen to me HA! i was right now wasn't i?
*chuckles* you disgust me

The Maze

dazed and confused
lost and amused
crazed and appraised
fazed and ablazed
nothing but amazed
lost in this maze
am i crazy or should i be lazy
cranes of these ordanes
lost in these festering flames
nothing but blames
but who are these dames
casting these flames
who is here me or my shadow?

^
not quiete done yet work in progress

Undead

Iron and Stones
undead bones
rising up and falling down
all these bones abounds
and falling a rounds
blades in their hands
shades of these commands

one day

i wish that i could be there
don't know why i don't know how
i just feel so far gone
one day maybe I'll be the one that's for you
some how maybe some where I'll realize what i gotta do
cause i don't believe you know how i really feel
cause maybe???
you shoulda been the one that saved me
and now that day will never come
i fall.....

Age Shouldn't Matter,

Girl: hey whats up
Boy: nm just listening to music
Girl: i heard your getting you G.E.D.
Boy: yeah i thought it was a good idea
Girl: it is im proud of you
Boy: yeah thnx well listen i g2g bye

"Last message recived 12/12/07
"Next day"

Girl: hi
Boy: hi whats up
Girl: nm you
Boy: i got my G.E.D.
Girl: OMG!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOU
Boy: yeah thnx
Girl: i have to tell you something
Boy: go ahead
Girl: well i love you.
i always have i cared about you and your always in my heart
Boy: thats cool i love you too but your too young your 14 and i'm 17
Girl: but i love you, age shouldn't matter
Boy: i know u do and i love u but i found this girl and shes my age
Girl: i just thought. (crying she logs off)

The next day the boy turns on the news and hears that a 14 year old girl cut her wrists and wrote on the wall "Age never matters"
The boy then recives a call from the girl he chose and she says "I'm leaving you for the one i love.
That night the boy hangs himself and writes on the wall "She's right. Age doesn't matter.

IF YOU AGREE THAT AGE SHOULDN'T MATTER AS LONG AS YOU LOVE THEM THEN REPOST THIS AS "Age Shouldn't Matter"