So what’s this now another crushing defeat? No this is something different. I know what a fool I have been.
I know what a coward I have been. I can’t deny anything. In the same breath. I don’t care… In a good way. I have my great crushing I have my great failing. I decide what ever ends I get. I am not afraid. I know I am alone. I know my failings they are clear as day. I am to much of what I hate to ever realize I hate it. I really hate what I have done but I know I can’t I can only hope one day I can make it right. I want nothing more then to make it right. I have never felt this way before. I never want to feel this way again. I hope I have become what I hate for a reason. I hope I learn for all that I have failed from I deserve whatever I get. I am getting professional help.