Okay I understand that scissors can beat paper
And I get how rock beats scissors
But there’s no way that paper can beat rock!
Paper is supposed to magically “wrap around” rock leaving it immobile
Then why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors?
In fact screw scissors!
Why can't paper do this to people?
Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I’ll tell you why?
It’s because paper can’t beat anybody!
A rock would tear that shit up in about two seconds!
When I play “rock paper scissors” I always choose rock
Then when someone claims they’ve beaten me with paper
I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say something like…
“Oh shit” I’m sorry I thought paper would protect you.
hahah had to steal this
Women's English:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. Sure, go ahead = You better not
7. We need to talk = You're in trouble
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you MORON !
10. You're certanily attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Men's English:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11.I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
