I've started a new diary and this time I have a few new reasons:
One, I have no friends left.
Two, so I can read back and remember what I did the day before.
And three, so if I die, at least I leave a nice little suicide note of my life.
It's just me and you diary, welcome to my fucking life.
One, I have no friends left.
Two, so I can read back and remember what I did the day before.
And three, so if I die, at least I leave a nice little suicide note of my life.
It's just me and you diary, welcome to my fucking life.
Why, hello there. My name is Chriss.
First, and foremost. Unless you spend a hell of a lot of time getting to know me.
You don't know me at all.
Sometimes I scream, I yell, I flail for fun.
Sometimes I enter a shell because something bothers me.
Occasionally, My emotions take over and things get really bad.
But, for the most part, if I don't let stress take over.
I'm a good person, I care about my friends like crazy,
My girlfriend, well, she's my life, she's changed me more than she thinks, hell, probably knows. She's made me a happier person that's for sure.
Ever since someone in my past tore me apart, I hadn't exactly been the same.
I had a mask on all the time, I seemed happy, but I never really was.
But ever since I met her, I've actually felt happiness. Even before we were dating.
She filled me with energy like no one else ever could. No one.
Anyway, I'm sure if you're reading this you don't want to read me brag about how absolutely fuckin' BITCHIN' and AWESOME, my girlfriend is.
I know, that in the last while, I haven't exactly been the best person to be around.
But now, my life's pickin' up so, that's gonna change.
Goin' back to myself again, and not letting stress take over ever again.
Ever, Again. I made that mistake in the past once. And I'm glad I figured it out this time before it went back.
Here's lookin' to the rest of my life.
Rachel,
I love you. So much,
I know I make jokes and such that bug you.
And sometimes I upset you by doing stupid things or acting stupidly.
But In the end, it's true, I love you, and you're all I need, and everything I've ever wanted.
Yeah, it's kind of a weird thing to say at nineteen years old, but I know.
I want to spend the rest of my life, with you.
From the stressful age of nineteen.
To our adult years, being on our own, truly in love.
To seniors, screaming at each other and smokin' dope on the front lawn of an old folks home.
Plotting what we'll get our kids to do for us next.
Ahahaha.
But enough of the fairytale romance stuff.
You're my everything, plain and simple.
(And yes, this note is why I was smiling at you at the commie just a second ago.)
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When I first placed my hands on these diaries,
Scraps of paper.
There were notes and scribbles and all kinds of shit,
A lot of feelings came bubbling up.
But mostly this one:
"How the hell am I still alive?"
That's what I think every day.
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Nobody would believe the shit that happens
inside my head, it's haunted.
Now I've come down from the drugs,
it seems like a sick play that I saw in a theater somewhere.
Thirty minutes ago, I could have killed somebody.
Or better yet, myself.
Boy we've made it a long way. These six months or so have been fantastic, even with all the stupid situations and people we've had to put up with. Through thick and thin we've always made it through. No money, no food, no free time, we still made it baby. It's only going to get better from here on out. Our love is unbreakable and unbeatable. We'll have our own place soon, very soon. I can't wait, I'm so excited for us to start the rest of our lives together. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all. Let's make history, you and I, together, forever.
<3 Je t'aime. Avec tout mon coeur. M'épouser.
I love you. So much,
I know I make jokes and such that bug you.
And sometimes I upset you by doing stupid things or acting stupidly.
But In the end, it's true, I love you, and you're all I need, and everything I've ever wanted.
Yeah, it's kind of a weird thing to say at nineteen years old, but I know.
I want to spend the rest of my life, with you.
From the stressful age of nineteen.
To our adult years, being on our own, truly in love.
To seniors, screaming at each other and smokin' dope on the front lawn of an old folks home.
Plotting what we'll get our kids to do for us next.
Ahahaha.
But enough of the fairytale romance stuff.
You're my everything, plain and simple.
(And yes, this note is why I was smiling at you at the commie just a second ago.)
When I first placed my hands on these diaries,
Scraps of paper.
There were notes and scribbles and all kinds of shit,
A lot of feelings came bubbling up.
But mostly this one:
"How the hell am I still alive?"
That's what I think every day.
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low,
Everybody gets bruised, everybody gets sold,
Everybody gets dark, everybody unfolds,
Everybody gets high, everybody gets so low.
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Everybody gets bruised, everybody gets sold,
Everybody gets dark, everybody unfolds,
Everybody gets high, everybody gets so low.
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Nobody would believe the shit that happens
inside my head, it's haunted.
Now I've come down from the drugs,
it seems like a sick play that I saw in a theater somewhere.
Thirty minutes ago, I could have killed somebody.
Or better yet, myself.
Boy we've made it a long way. These six months or so have been fantastic, even with all the stupid situations and people we've had to put up with. Through thick and thin we've always made it through. No money, no food, no free time, we still made it baby. It's only going to get better from here on out. Our love is unbreakable and unbeatable. We'll have our own place soon, very soon. I can't wait, I'm so excited for us to start the rest of our lives together. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all. Let's make history, you and I, together, forever.
<3 Je t'aime. Avec tout mon coeur. M'épouser.