I think it's a sign. Ive had the same dream or so called vision like 3 times so far.
I think it's going to keep on happening. Is it really time to leave, to a better place? Cause I'm considering it very much. Most times, your dreams come true. This is something that has to happen. Cause I can't live this dream again.

For anyone who is reading this, I am deleting my nexopia in a few days. So if you have any last things you have to say to me, say them soon. If not, then goodbye forever.

Wow things have gone to shit.
And someone in my class went on my ffr account and transferred 26000 credits, 3 fucking months of work, fuck you.

Going for another adderall binge, fucking woo.
Gotta love drugs

mental note: Thursday 20th, 11am. UP UP UP. and ..wait ..wtf?
What the fuck is this! ..oh your mother.

Anyone got a ps2 controller lying around, that I can have?
-still waiting-

All you fucking pissy bloggers are annoying as fuck. This is probably what twitter is like, fucking lame.

But I guess I can be pissy too, Just told my mom to fuck herself and smashed my ps2 controller in half.

To anyone who reads this shitty blog post.
I wont be around anymore. Don't fucking talk to me, don't call me, don't call my house. If you try to, my parents won't answer the door, or phone. I also wont be on nex or msn ever again. Don't ask my any questions why, because I won't see or answer them.

None of you will know whats going on right now, but you don't have to. Just move on and forget about me. I don't care if you take this seriously or not. Just know you wont see me again or hear from me. Whatever happens, its up too me.

So goodbye everyone, its been terrible knowing all of you, your all shit heads and I hope you all die, or live miserable lifes. It implies to everyone I know.

I know everyone makes rants on blogs about anything, but for this one..it's actually true. So I shall say goodbye and I hope you all die, or overdose. Make the world a better place.

Attempted an experiment, did quite well. But it was a bullshit at the same time.
Many attempts at trying sleep deprivation and I would last like 30hours and get too bored or tired and go to bed.

This time I made it 64hrs in total with no sleep. Sad thing is the best part of the experiment was suppose to happen after 72hrs. Thats when you start to get delusional and have hallucinations. Because the part of your brain, I forget what it was called. It's like a transmitter. When you sleep it sends messages to the brain or whatever you would like to call it. And while you sleep you have REM sleep, where you have dreams. After a few days without rem sleep, or sleep of any kind your brain starts to fuck up in a way. Its been so long that your brain is going to send those messages if your asleep or not. When you sleep you dream randomly, when your awake and seeing things that arent there, you know you have lost your mind.

People say its unhealthy, you can gain weight, immune system decreases, you get sore. Most of all its a state of psychosis, it can stick with you even after you sleep, so be warned.

I had very few hallucinations, which were common with many others who have done this. You can hear people talking all the time, but they are just far enough so you cant hear one word they said. I also saw big flashing..like boxers appear all over my room, kinda cool.

But I shall be attempting this in about a week, setting my goal for 100 hours. It shall be adventerous.

Test No.

1. 64 hours (passed out)
2. 64 hours...again. Had to stop because of upcomming events.

Next time I get around to this will probably be august 1st. Im writing this as im about to good to bed on test #2. I have learned after about 50 hours, I do no longer feel restless or yawn. Only physical sign of being tired is my heavy eyes, or maybe its watching to much tv and so forth. I honestly know I can go for a very long time. Also I have noticed hallucinations occur after 48 hours, as my ceiling would go tinted red all over. But from what i've read after 72hrs it gets more intense, or the 4th day mark. As you can't tell hallucinations from reality(psychosis) and afer that depersonalization.

But what is making me do it over is just too set myself goals, its like a challenge for me, a fucked up one you all think but not for me. But I like these odd experiments. To gain knowledge of the physical body and how the mind functions under certain conditions. Hopefully next time I shall expierence hallucinations to somewhat of a degree or possibly a temporary state of psychosis. And no im not fucked out of my mind for doing this, so don't question my logic or anything that I do.

Fuck websense! I can finally say im the only one im my school who has found to bypass it. People can't even use proxies or dns servers to get on blocked sites. Ive finally done it..finally I can be on nex now. now GTFO of mah biz.

My world has been turned upside down. It can't get anyworse. Everyone Ive ever known is a physco fucking mental case. I can't deal with it anymore. Its all the fucking same.

This could be the end..

Tomorrow im going to buy myself a 60 of vodka and possible other things..
Maybe then ill be happier, no more worries, no more problems. A care free place where I can finally belong. My imagination will take me there soon enough, Paradise will never be lost.

Last nite I dropped 12 hits of acid trying to hit a state of ego death or dissociation or along those lines. And I did. Ended up going to the hospital to get checked out and it was funny as hell.

Other than that and puking everywhere it was a good day. Being stuck in a Hamster ball or washing machine looking through a kaleidoscope type, thing. Spinning with geo-metric shapes and patterns going by changing into 2D and 3D objects.

But this put a major dent in my drug use. I wanted to expirement and I did, and didnt go insane or get addicted to shit to anything that badly.

Therefore I am done expirementing and sticking to weed and alcohol. But my Last drug of choice Is to Try K once and then im done.

Want to Have Lots of Money when you Retire?

This summer im going to open up a GIC account. I did the math from what I will put into it monthly till I am in my mid 20's. Till I have an actual steady career. Then from what I'd put in from there once I have a steady job.

By the time I retire and how the interest rates are going up and down I'd have roughly around $800,000 - $1,100,000 so when im 65 years old Ill be ballin, rofl.

To bad the interest rates are in a recession, the lowest its ever been ever. A shitty 2.9% average. But its expected to go back up in a few years. In the last 55 years the average annual interest rate is right around 7-8%.

Think about it nigs! Look at this below and you'll see what your dealing with.
This is just an example of what you could have at the end of 50 years.

Lets say your 16 years old. And by the time your out of college/university youll be in the mid 20's.

Lets say you put in 60$ a month for 8 years, just an average of what you put in, you can add less or more each month depending on yourself. At 4% which is what it will be at or around for this time. You will have $7,481.98 by the end of 8 years.

By then you would probably have a steady job making over 20$ an hour, no more minimum wage bullshit bullshit. Say you want to retire at age 65. Thats 41 years away. Lets now say you add 200$ a month on average just like before. But at 7% because the rates fluxuate Its wont be at 2.9% cause it changes every so often. Because it will have been 8 years and the stock market and everything will be back up, hopefully.
Its been at over 10% interest rates back in the day. So dont worry its gonna be 50 years of changing interest rates (2.9%-15.0% from what I had heard and read). So 200$ a month average for 41 years at an average compounded interest rate of 7% you would have $688,554.49. Yes that is with the 8 years of 60$ a month average at 4% and increasing the amount to 200$ and averaging 7% rates. Almost $700,000.

Wouldn't you like that? Lots of money so you can do stuff when your older and not work and not be worried with running out of money. Unless your unwise and spend it all cause your an idiot. But if your investing your money you're smart. The thing is you add money each month to your Gic or rrsp or whatever the hell your are investing into. Remember you add each month and at the end of either your long term, but mostly short term 3-5 year investments you have to add your compounded interest cheque you get at the end of the year back into it. Or you you will honestly not make fucking shit all. Because this is the whole point of it. You have money at the end of the year with whatever percentage the rates are at on your money. Example; you have $10,000 in the bank with 5% you make $500 at the end of the year. There fore if you add it back in you got $10500. Next year you will have $525 profited if you put the $500 cheque back in from your last years interest, still at 5%. Every year its going to grow more and more money if you put it back in, also with changing rates. So be smart and dont take out any money or not deposit your yearly cheque.

If you do the math, over 50 years if you put in what you just read its only $104,660 of your money. That may seem like a lot but over 50 years thats nothing. A income of an individual would be around $30,000 - $80,000 a year. And if you have $688,554 after 50 years thats a fucking 557% Increase. Do it people you will have nothing to loose and everything to gain to be financially stable when your retired. Don't be like other people who screwed up or did it late. Because starting earlier is better. My mom is right around the age of 50. She was not smart and didn't open up a gic till she was 40, also took money out when she was not employeed. She only has $20,000 in there. Thats not much when she could honestly have around half a million. Thats why some people work till much over 65. Also the goverement only gives you about 1200$ a month in cpp Which you also pay into monthly from each paycheck.

Final notes are just be smart with your money. You could not have any saving accounts or stocks or rrsp's or gic's and not have any money earned in the future. So think about it you could make $500,000 by doing fucking nothing but adding money into a interest account. It's well worth it if you think about it, take a look on the internet about these things and you will learn a lot. Invest today and have a better tomorrow. Thank you if even one person took 10 minutes out of there day to read this and gained something.