i like eating thats why im a fat lard.
i have a ghetto butt.......thats a goddamn lie
its embarassing as fuck to have an ass
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Snatch, Fight Club, Bufallo Soldiers, Spun, Whats Eating Gilbert Grape, A home at the End of the World, Reservior Dogs, Four Rooms, Pulp Fiction, Sin City, The Pest, Bennie and Joone, True Romance
man-eating tigers of the Sunderban

WHEN WE GIRLS HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRINK.....

1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.

2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVER MY HEAD AND
WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.


3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A
HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. FILIBERTO'S BURRITO ON THE FLOOR
(WHICH I'M EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT .

6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM
SOOOOO MUCH.

7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A
NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT
TO ME

9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER.

10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A
TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.

11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN
SO I KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT
IT.

13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY
GIVING ME JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE
THE KITCHEN
FLOOR

olives
not having music playing
sometimes i dont like the town i live in