Hi, I'm Ryan William Unger, yes William...yeah thats about it.

What more is there to say really, I'm kinda weird but who isn't, I spend way to much time contemplating the irrelevant, and almost no time time thinking about the relevant and i get bored really easily. I'm no longer hopelessly single.

My friends are the most important people in the world to me, if any of you fuckers ever need a fresh kidney just give me a ring.

Black coffee, a good cigar, a cheap cigar, cheap beer, the occasional toke and a good hat.

Oh and Punk rock kicks some serious ass, and i mean real punk not that shit they spew out on Much Music.

A special mention has to go out to my first punk love the Dead Kennedys, I blame them for how i turned out, and if the DK get a special mention Jello Biafra has to get a special mention because even after the rest of the band turned their respective backs on him and screwed him out of the rights to their songs Jello retained his integrity and remains a punk rock icon.

Oh and even though i am incredibly heterosexual i would probably have sex with Henry Rollins if he asked me...What? he's very attractive for his age. I actually got a chance to see Mr. Rollins on his spoken word tour "Provoked"...I'm still hard.

The overly religious (I have no problem with religion in general, it only pisses me off when people let it take the fun out of their lives, I mean for fucks sake get stoned, get drunk, get laid, have fun.)

Those who think they are morally or otherwise superior to others, get off your high horse mother fucker.

Gross fat people who think that they are way more attractive then they actually are, hey I'm no prize myself but least i don't have any false notions about how attractive i am. Oh and by the way if a guy tells you you're voluptuous, he thinks you're fat, but he'd still fuck you.

Emo hardcore dancing. Skank, mosh or smile and thank me as i beat you about the face with a blunt instrument.

Time travel, I'm sorry but its just a bad idea, there are way to many ways in which you could create a time paradox and unwittingly unmake creation.(I'm using the word creation as a simple turn of phrase, I'm actually kind of a fence sitter, between the shaky edge of creationism and Darwinism.)

(Note the hypocrisy)