Have you ever fallen asleep and dreamed a deep, deep vision. Than when you wake up, you wish the dream would just continue. Because the reality your eyes open up to are much more bitter to bear than the imaginary wonderland your subconcious teases you with. Sordid thoughts can fall through the cracks and you can be left with everything you have ever wanted in a dream. To some the best dream could be getting back a loved one who meant the world to them. To others to have more money than anyone else in the world. A fucking psychotic example of the human values balance which teeters more over time. The more money, the more power, the more happiness. This is the way our human race has managed to raise the social bar to. A non-stop infinite chain of generations getting richer and richer, or poorer and poorer. The simple man it seems can never win in a world like this. But he keeps trying. The underdogs of the social pyramid are the hardest working and toughest people. They survive. They survive to make the wealthy and lazy peoples lives better. A cycle of slavery. No wonder we escape to our dreams to find the blessed things that we long so much for. It's the only place they cannot be taken away from you.

This is a new song for the debut album I have begun to write. please give me feedback on what you think.

Diesel

Falling through this hole,
Lost with nothing but remants of memories,
They leave my heart black as coal,
Realizing the old times will never again be,

Mind numbing pain;lost in pieces,
Confused, distraught, I can't see shit,
My sanity that's left ceases,
So I just take another hit,

To ease my mind,
To fall from sight,
My dark thoughts I must fight,
Your beauty clouds my head,
I feel better, when I feel dead,

Smoke fills my lungs,
And my soul falls to blackness,
I'm in a battle unsung,
Fighting under these sordid pretence,

Darkened soul;never to return,
This is a pit of never-ending suffocation,
I fall under the bridges I have burned,
I feel myself die in dilation,

To ease my mind,
To fall from sight,
My dark thoughts I must fight,
Your beauty clouds my head,
I feel better, when I feel dead,

(solo)

I BREAK!
TO MY OWN DEMISE!
I FAKE!
NOTHING LEFT TO DISGUISE!
SO PASS IT OVER!

To ease my mind,
To fall from sight,
My dark thoughts I must fight,
Your beauty clouds my head,
I feel better, when I feel dead,

Lost In this empty shell,
Materialized by ashes,
From the bridges I’ve burned,
My Memories are all I have left,
The random thoughts of agony,
And all these past joys,

Nothing could be further from the truth,
As a man who is a free,
A world born in chains,
A population without a face,

We are so different, yet the same,
Trapped in a world of robots,
Under control by sadistic suits,
Yet though we are so same,
All we do is fight,
Puppets of our own play,

I have known what it feels to live,
I have known what it feels to fall,
Life is so cruel,
Life is so beautiful,

The things experienced in life,
Are the unforgettable uncertainties,
The rush of a change,
The move of a wave,
The life changing sounds of a newborn.

Born into this world to become another puppet,
Another step forward in the destruction of mankind,
As the oak tree stands tall,
The human race will not.

And unfathomable history,
Rests in the hands of generations,
Oceans may rise,
Fires may become ice,
Death may become life,


The story to remember here,
Is the story of the Three Nevers,
Never Regret,
Never Falter,
And Never Give Up,

Because in the end all you have ever wanted,
Will be right in front of you,
Its up to you to take it.
And through its taking,
You will have birthed,
A new beginning.

Hey people, just wrote a new song for the album coming up. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Toxicity

Verse 1

Blackened Water is the purity of my blood,
The way my soul falters,
At the drop of these waterfall floods,
A quarter moon is all the light I have left,

Pre-chorus 1

Hate growing so corruptively,
Losing it all to insanity,
Power of darkness controlling these waves,
As I begin to wonder, will I ever be saved?

Chorus

And the sun, it falls to pieces,
Smoking through my veins,
This toxicity,
Flowing in me,
I have become so cold.

Verse 2

Drowning in a pool of repentance,
That I cannot escape,
Falling through the cracks of oblivion,
And the moonlight is slowly fading,

Pre-chorus 2

Pain clouding my empty mind,
I’m falling from sight,
Night pulling me pulling me deeper in,
Will I ever clear from my own darkest sins?

Chorus

And the sun, it falls to pieces,
Smoking through my veins,
This toxicity,
Flowing in me,
I have become so cold.

(guitar solo)

Chorus

And the sun, it falls to pieces,
Smoking through my veins,
This toxicity,
Flowing in me,
I have become so cold.

People are whiney. That is just how it is, everyone we know and everyone we've been associated with has complained or does complain on a constant basis. I'll admit even some of my blogs have been a bit whiney. But what I've come to realize in these past few years is that alot of people that complain will never do anything about it. Alot of people will complain about something happening to them or something that might but yet when they have the chance to do something about it they don't, its either their afraid to, or maybe they just wanted to complain to make themselves grab some sort of attention they aren't getting from somewhere else. I guess the point I'm trying to get across is, if your going to complain than do something about it. Or just do something about it. Nothing will ever change until YOU make it happen. Nothing just goes and fixes itself. Someone or something always has to the change the situation to make it better or sometimes even worse. While were on the topic of better or worse, is there really a better or a worse? A good or an evil? I don't believe so. I think there is only different. Caused by our self concious thoughts or what has been around us our entire lives. How we were raised. Everyone is different and believe in different morals. The only reason we think of good and evil are better or worse is because society has brought us to believe what morals should be. No I am not saying that gives you the right to steal or kill someone. But what im trying to get across is that everyone is different and what seems right to one is wrong to someone else. In this thought I've come to realize people are only different, and that its societies morals and laws that make us decide who's a good person and who isn't. In a relationship for an example a person can believe that one person was better than someone else but yet they were just different, because of how they were either brought up or how they think. If people thought more this way than there would be no judging and we might live in a world thats a better place. I will say again, this does not mean I agree with killing or anything like that, because honestly that is a horrible type of different. I'm just saying that people and everyone is different and that to them things are right and wrong that might not be to someone else and thats what makes us who we are and what makes us unique as people. Now back to complaining. People should never drag things on in a complaint. Yes it is ok to vent. I'm not saying its not. I'm merely stating that if you don't do anything about what you are complaining about nothign will ever change. Sometimes you can't do anything about it, because of certain circumstances, in cases like that it is very important to ask for help or just vent. Ask people for advice on what you can do. But always you should do try to do something about it. Never give up on hope for things because things can always change. Things can always get different and easier for you. As long as you want them to. Happiness is something that can be achieved if you want to. Always remember, pain is inevitable, misery is a choice, and that its only you that can ever change anything for you, but things can always change. Use the anger, the sadness, all the emotions you feel to rage the fire inside you to begin the change of things. Sometimes, thats all it takes.

Adam.

You were my best friend, my companion, my loyalty laid completely with you. You were there through my tears, through my fears. Through every moment in the last 4 years you've been there. You've seen my anger, my sadness, my depression, my happiness, my love, my hate, my heart, my shatters, my soul, my tatters. Im not sure how ill get by without you, but I have to fight and die trying. Just as you did. You will forever be, my best friend, my companion, my dog.
R.I.P Wolfgang Gainer. We Miss You.

OK so this may seem like a weird and maybe somewhat slutty blog but hey alot of people are having problems with getting who i am when they want to date me. so here it is.

1. I am a musician first, a boyfriend second
2. I smoke, I drink, I do weed occasionally, deal with it.
3. I will not change for anyone
4. I like to cuddle
5. I like to kiss
6. I am who I am
7. Dont make me wear skinnies
8. Im crazy

Im tired of people deciding who you are by fucking labels.. people are trying to decide who you are just bc of what you listen to, what you do, and how you act. LABELS ARE BULLSHIT! it dont define who you are wat your personality is really like. be you! not what people want you to be. people are always influenced by their friends but i think thats also bullshit, you should be able to date who you want, do what you want, and be who you wanna be without anyone judging you on it.

Fuck you, you motherfucking hypocritical narcissistic bitch! You try to fuckin control who i am or who i date! Well you know what? I can make fuckin decisions on my own every once in a while! We always let you do what you want but you try and control us because you figure you know whats best! Well your not my fucking parent and your certainly never gonna control what i do again! You tink you know me? You'll never know me.
Fuck You.
Go Fuck Youself.
Have a nice day

L A S T P E R S O N T H A T

1. Slept in your bed besides you? Jordee
2. Saw you cry? Rykki
3. You went to the movies with? Melissa
4. You went out to dinner with? my cousins
5. You talked on the phone to?caylee
7. Made you laugh? Thomas

W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Toungue
2. Be serious or be funny? funny
3. Simple or complicated? Both
4. Straight or Homosexual? straight.
5. Sane or Retarded? both

D O Y O U P R E F E R?

1. Flowers or candy? candy
2. Gray or black? black
3. Color or Black and white photos?color
4. Sunrise or sunset? sunset
5. M&Ms or Skittles? skittles
6. Staying up late or waking up early? staying up late


D O Y O U P R E F E R. .

1. Sun or moon? moon
2. Winter or Fall? fall
3. Left or right? right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? 2 bestfriends
5. Sun or rain? sun
6. Vanilla or chocolate ice cream? chocolate
7. Vodka or Jack: Jack

A B O U T Y O U!

1. What time is it? 9:07pm
2. Name? Adam
3. Nickname(s): Riff, snuggle bunny, Bozo the clown, Nipples.
5. What do you want?: to see her
7. How many kids do you want ? 2
8. What would you want to name a girl? Purity
9. What would you want to name a boy? Carl
11. What kind of music do you like? metal

U N I Q U E!

1. Nervous Habits? none
2. Are you double jointed?: not overly
3. Can you roll your tongue?: no
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: yea
5. Can you cross your eyes?: no
6. Do you make your bed daily?: no

R A N D O M:

1. Which shoe goes on first?: left
2. Ever thrown something at someone?: yup
3. On average, how much money do you carry with you? depends
4. What jewelry do you wear?: used to wear a wristband till it broke
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl it
2. Have you ever eaten Spam?: unfortunately yes
3. Favorite ice cream?: chocolate, neopolitan.
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?: 3
5. What's your favorite beverage?: coke
6. Do you cook?: yes

I N T H E L A S T M O N T H , H A V E Y O U ?

1. Had a relationship? yeah
2. Bought something? yeeah.
5. Been kissed: no
6. Been hugged: yes
7. Felt stupid: yes
8. Missed someone: everyday

F I R S T ?

First CD: Symphony X- Paradise Lost
First Car: 2003 Chev Cavalier
First Stuffed animal: panda bear

L A S T ?

Last Alcoholic Beverage: beer
Last Car ride: today.
Last Movie Seen: dont mess with the zohan
Last Song Played: Opium Of The People- Slipknot
Last Bubble Bath: when i was 5
Last time you Cried: 5 days ago.

H A V E Y O U E V E R

Have you ever been on TV: once.
Have you ever liked someone who you couldn't have?: yeah


T H R E E P E O P L E Y O U C A N T E L L A N Y T H I N G T O

1:Caylee
2:Thomas
3:Blade


T H R E E C H O I C E S

1. Black or White: black
2. Hot or Cold: warm
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate

B E S T :

1. Female friend: Nikkita
2. Vacation: Drumheller
3. Memory: Getting into the fight in melfort against the other adam with bobby

W O R S T

1. Time of day: mornings
2. Day of the week: Sunday
3. Food: rice
4. Memory: lots

L A S T :

1. Person you saw: Dad
2. Person you hugged: mom
3. Person you said "I love you" to? Caylee

T O M O R R O W :

1. Sleeping till?: 8:30
2. Got any plans?: school, home, recording.
3. Dislikes about tomorrow? school

F A V O R I T E :

1: Number: 666, 8 or 15
2: Song: tooo many
3. Color:red/blue

This is a brand new song gonna use it for a demo tell me what you think

My Soul has begun to shatter,
As I watch her walk away,
Life so far now doesnt matter,
My emotion has gone astray,

I guess I wasnt good enough for her,
My Outside Doesnt equal hers,
My Outside Doesnt equal hers,
I guess she never loved me after all,
Because my outside doesnt equal hers,
My outside doesnt equal hers,

So Tear Me Apart,
Because of my face,
She shatter my heart,
And burned every trace,
Now Shes gone,

Her condescending actions cannot be justified,
By her superficial reasons SHE ONLY LOOKED OUTSIDE

She broke me to pieces,
By swearing her psuedo-love,
Now the darkness seizes,
So I will never see above,

I guess I wasnt pretty enough for her,
My outside doesnt equal hers,
My outside doesnt equal hers,
I guess she never cared after all,
Because my outside doesnt equal hers,
My outside doesnt equal hers,

So Tear Me Apart,
Because of my face,
She shatter my heart,
And burned every trace,
Now Shes gone,

Her condescending actions cannot be justified,
By her superficial reasons SHE ONLY LOOKED OUTSIDE

Now I start to realize,
That her inside is ugly,
When I looked deep inside,
I saw my own inner beauty, Yeah.

My Soul is much brighter than hers,
My inside is much brighter than hers,

So Tear Me Apart,
Because of my face,
She shatter my heart,
And burned every trace,
Now Shes gone,

Her condescending actions cannot be justified,
By her superficial reasons SHE ONLY LOOKED OUTSIDE

Friends, Fans, Enemies. Please read this song. Its how i feel about all the pain ive caused to people so much grief and selfishness of what ive done. I wrote it this night of October 30 08 Its how i feel.
This is my redemption

Ive Torn All the people I love the most to pieces,
Worked on blaming everyone for all my selfish reasons,
I have pushed away all the ones that mean the most,
And now its to late to realize, ive given my life no hope,

Through All My Pain,
Ive Made Them Feel It,
Lost In The Rain,
Full of Shameful Regret,
For all the ones Ive hurt the most,
Ive given shame to those who wrote,
My Confusion,
My Salvation,
My Redemption

Ive lost all the people that made me happy,
I shouldnt have blamed anyone but me,
My god damn soul with forever walk alone,
For this is my life my future I have sewn,

Through All My Pain,
Ive Made Them Feel It,
Nothing Left To Say,
Im Lost In Regret,
Why did I do this to them,
How the hell couldnt I comprehend,
The monster I have become has written,
My Destruction,
My Annihilation,
My Redemption

How Could I be So Selfish to My Family and my friends,
Why Didnt i see this anguish that would take me In the end,

My Confusion,
Will Destroy me From Within,
My Annihilation,
Will Make me feel my sins,
My Salvation,
Only they can give to me,
My Destruction,
Ive seen all my selfish schemes,
My Redemption,
Is a Self-wrought Tragedy,
My Redemption,
Will always haunt my dreams,
My Redemption,
I have lost all I Love,
My Redemption,
I wish I could have seen this before i was done.



This Is my Apology to all the people in the world ive hurt.
Im Sorry.