A Short Production on the Subject of Legal Drinking Age.
The scene: A bar on Main St.
11:58 PM
WESLEY walks in stage right, approaching the bar, behind which BARKEEP is cleaning glasses.
Wesley: Hullo, barkeep. A pint, if you please.
Barkeep: Coming right up, sir. hesitates. Do you have ID?
Wesley: drawing it out. Here you go.
Barkeep: inspects ID. I'm sorry sir, your birthday is tomorrow. You are still eighteen, and by the provincial laws, you may not drink until you are nineteen years of age or older.
Wesley: My birthday is in two minutes.
Barkeep: Be that as it may, our provincial government [a chorus of angelic voices come from nowhere and sing the praises of said provincial government, and the barkeep turns his face towards heaven to receive a blessing from the glorious Parliament in the Sky] has decreed that you must be nineteen years of age or older to drink in British Columbia.
Wesley: There is now ten seconds until my birthday.
Barkeep: Sir, I must ask you to leave this establishment, as you are not of age to be in here.
[outside, a clock chimes midnight. Immediately, Wesley undergoes a change. He grows a three-foot long beard and dons a fashionable fedora, and light begins to glow around him as he undergoes a second puberty. The puberty of manhood. The angelic voices begin singing again.]
Enter GORDON CAMPBELL (premier of BC) stage left.
Gordon Campbell: Welcome to adulthood, Wesley MacWesleyson! How does it feel to finally be magically mature enough to enter a bar?
Wesley: in a far deeper voice. I feel.. different... like I can responsibly handle drinking a pint of beer! Barkeep!
Barkeep: saluting. Yes, sah?
Wesley: Fetch me a pint of Guinness, on the double!
Barkeep: busying himself. Yes, sah!
Gordon Campbell: nodding. Very good. Use this power responsibly, Wesley. Remember that with great age comes great responsibility.
Wesley: Do sit down and have a pint with me, Gordy!
Gordon Campbell: Don't mind if I do! takes a seat. This'll be just the trick before I go off on my trip to Hawaii.
[The barkeep delivers both of the men a pint of Guinness each, and they sit engaged in telling witty stories. The curtain falls.]
The scene: A bar on Main St.
11:58 PM
WESLEY walks in stage right, approaching the bar, behind which BARKEEP is cleaning glasses.
Wesley: Hullo, barkeep. A pint, if you please.
Barkeep: Coming right up, sir. hesitates. Do you have ID?
Wesley: drawing it out. Here you go.
Barkeep: inspects ID. I'm sorry sir, your birthday is tomorrow. You are still eighteen, and by the provincial laws, you may not drink until you are nineteen years of age or older.
Wesley: My birthday is in two minutes.
Barkeep: Be that as it may, our provincial government [a chorus of angelic voices come from nowhere and sing the praises of said provincial government, and the barkeep turns his face towards heaven to receive a blessing from the glorious Parliament in the Sky] has decreed that you must be nineteen years of age or older to drink in British Columbia.
Wesley: There is now ten seconds until my birthday.
Barkeep: Sir, I must ask you to leave this establishment, as you are not of age to be in here.
[outside, a clock chimes midnight. Immediately, Wesley undergoes a change. He grows a three-foot long beard and dons a fashionable fedora, and light begins to glow around him as he undergoes a second puberty. The puberty of manhood. The angelic voices begin singing again.]
Enter GORDON CAMPBELL (premier of BC) stage left.
Gordon Campbell: Welcome to adulthood, Wesley MacWesleyson! How does it feel to finally be magically mature enough to enter a bar?
Wesley: in a far deeper voice. I feel.. different... like I can responsibly handle drinking a pint of beer! Barkeep!
Barkeep: saluting. Yes, sah?
Wesley: Fetch me a pint of Guinness, on the double!
Barkeep: busying himself. Yes, sah!
Gordon Campbell: nodding. Very good. Use this power responsibly, Wesley. Remember that with great age comes great responsibility.
Wesley: Do sit down and have a pint with me, Gordy!
Gordon Campbell: Don't mind if I do! takes a seat. This'll be just the trick before I go off on my trip to Hawaii.
[The barkeep delivers both of the men a pint of Guinness each, and they sit engaged in telling witty stories. The curtain falls.]
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