GaryTaloSyrjani says:
I'm curious as to what exactly your thoughts on the bible are and why exactly you believe it. Simply out of curiousity.

*pr3ttys3xi* says:
The bible is made up of what god and jesus followers have seen happen. The bible is all truth. I believe in it because I know in my heart that he did all this. He is an almighty being and I believe.

GaryTaloSyrjani says:
That's silly. I prefer to worship things that are proven to be real. Like the sun for instance.

*pr3ttys3xi* says:
well then you have fun worshipping false idols

GaryTaloSyrjani says:
Well it's just that atleast with sun worshipping I already know all about it and everything I do know about it happens to be proven facts. Sort of like a biography of it. But it's more or less common sense

*pr3ttys3xi* says:
jesus and gods autobiogarphy is the bible thats all the proof you need, they are justified

GaryTaloSyrjani says:
So if the bible is their autobiography that would mean they wrote it. I think you have your facts a little bit screwed around. I will admit that the bible was a really entertaining story full of rape, murder, death and mutilation but it most certainly wasn't meant to be taken as a true story. More of a book of morals is what is was meant to be. But hey, who am I to preach religion. I'm just a garden gnome for fuck jesus sakes

*pr3ttys3xi* says:
You know what you garden gnome stop talking to me your a wack job who needs to see a doctor so stop commenting on my religion and see a doctor while you still have some functioning brain cells. Its not a story its true and you believe what you want because obviously you dont know your left from your right you believe your a friken garden gnome for gosh sakes


Then the dumb bitch blocked me. Right in the middle of our intellectual conversation on religion...

THE 101 RULES OF POWER METAL

1. You have one goal: be epic.

2. Let no sound be lonely. If there's a guitar solo, harmonize it. If there's singing, make it a choir.

3. Keyboards offer a way to add thousands of different textures to a song. Find two of those that you like and use them on every song you write.

4. In a power metal world, everything steel is good, and anything good must be compared to steel.

5. You are not bound to sing about Satan, evil, and/or darkness.

6. You are bound to sing about dragons, freedom, and/or power metal.

7. Remember how no sound should be alone? Same goes for albums. Everything can have a sequel!

8. You are allowed to be blonde.

9. Swords enhance your credibility and your performance. Be sure to carry one regardless of whether or not you know anything about using one.

10. Pick a theme and stick to it. Manowar are warriors of true metal, and they don't get to sing about anything else. Rhapsody has their Algalord chronicles. Hammerfall has their steel, hammers, and templar. Running Wild has pirates. Blind Guardian has Tolkein. None of them are allowed to sing about anything else.

11. If you have to sing about something else, put together a side project to do it. Avantasia is the perfect model.

12. Ballads are permissible.

13. That doesn't mean your ballads can suck.

14. The longer a song is, the more epic it is. See rule #1.

15. More solos means more epic.

16. If at all possible, be Michael Kiske.

17. If this is not possible, pretend to be Michael Kiske.

18. Your album cover should include at least one of the following: fire, steel, weird glowing magical items, irregularly muscular men, fists thrust into the air, weaponry, magic creatures (preferably dragons), or bright beams of light around somebody/something.

19. ‘Grim' and ‘necro' don't apply here; they just make you look silly. Now go back to singing your 20 minute epic about dragonslaying!

20. Power metal depends on power chords.

21. 16th notes are the only notes.

22. Unless you're singing, in which case you are not permitted to hold a note for any less than 2 bars.

23. Keyboards get solos, too.

24. If you can't be Michael Kiske, you can at least be Timo Tolkki.

25. Actually, don't be Timo Tolkki.

26. In case you didn't know, "symphonic" is synonymous with "epic." See rule #1.

27. Just because 300 bands before you have already done "epic," there's always room for more.

28. Songs come in two tempos: metal and ballad.

29. You are officially the only group of people who can refer to themselves as ‘mighty' without being laughed at. Much.

30. Audiences need to be able to sing along. Make it catchy.

31. Sing in English, even though your fan-base will be comprised entirely of Brazilians, Germans, Japanese, Swedes, and Finns. See rule #30: if it's not catchy, it's harder to sing in a language that is not your first.

32. Play in as many bands as possible. More side projects and guest appearances means more epic!

33. Tight. Pants.

34. You don't have to detune your guitars.

35. Though you probably should drop them a half-step.

36. Unfortunately, you need at least two guitar players. How else are you going to have dueling guitar solos?

37. Keyboards may substitute for one guitar player, as long as they can solo.

38. Fortunately, you don't need a bass player! Or at least, you never have to use the same bassist twice.

39. Begin all songs with one big swelling chord on the keyboard.

40. Acoustic guitars are allowed. Sometimes.

41. It's not a tour, it's a crusade!

42. Layer your vocals, hundreds upon hundreds of times. Don't worry about them live.

43. Never use mundane words in your lyrics. Nothing is epic if you don't use words like "majesty," "glorious," "magical," and so on.

44. Wizards! You need wizards!

45. Although your costume does not require corpse paint, it will require a cape, lots of jewelry, and the aforementioned swords.

46. Unless you are Manowar, in which case you are too metal for clothing.

47. Come to think of it, don't be Manowar.

48. Wear armor if at all possible. Hammerfall can give you an idea of the variety of acceptable armors, ranging from leather to ring-mail.

49. Songs don't begin at full speed. Gradually work your way into an epic frenzy.

50. Hail true metal!

51. Acoustic guitars are for intros and bridges. Then crush them with steel.

52. Epic. Tight. Pants.

53. Higher vocals are epic vocals. Female lead singers are great for this.

54. So, male lead singes should sound like female singers. See rule #52.

55. True warriors can tell the difference between albums.

56. Concept albums are totally epic. Nobody will ever see it coming.

57. Liner notes must include pages of backstory, either of your epic saga of conquest over dragons and evil or of your epic battles with alcoholism while recording the album.

58. Drugs aren't metal.

59. Beer, however, can be served in all kinds of true metal ways.

60. "Flagons of ale." It's appropriate to your fantasy-riddled lyrics, and it almost looks like "dragons," so you score extra points.

61. Since you can't get away with grunts, growls, and other troll-like noises, you will have to sing.

62. Your accent will show as a consequence.

63. To compensate, sing about killing trolls. Preferably with the swords that you carry onstage.

64. More sequels = more epic. See rule #7.

65. Guest vocalists, guest guitarists, and any special appearances from outside your band will make your sound more epic, even if the track sounds just like all the other songs on the album with an extra solo.

666. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!!

67. Begin songs at half-tempo, and then, when listeners least expect it (i.e. at exactly the same time it happens in all your other songs) kick into full speed complete with double-bass and power chords.

68. Bass players: one note. Really fast.

69. But include one enormous crazy-ass bass fill before the chorus, even though the production will bury you so far in the mix that most people won't realize your band has a bass player.

70. Just because you don't play black metal doesn't mean you can't use Tolkein.

71. Whenever you short of ideas, pick up your Dungeons and Dragons books. You might as well be the first band to sing about owlbears.

72. Never leave Europe.

73. For purposes of rule #72, Japan may be counted as part of Europe.

74. Oh, and South America was colonized by Europeans, so it can count too.

75. Orchestras make a great addition to your album. Since you can't afford one, find a new patch on your keyboard.

76. If your live album does not have the crowd singing all the harmony parts for you, you aren't epic enough to justify a live album.

77. If you are European, use as many archaic English words in your lyrics as you can. Obfuscation is epic!

78. If you are South American, your lyrics should be closer to standard English, though nobody will ever read them.

79. If you are U.S. American, you probably aren't actually a power metal band. Sing about tanks, or something.

80. If you are Italian, write some lyrics in Latin. Your American fans won't be able to tell the difference between your Italian lyrics and your Latin ones, but Latin is epic.

81. Remember, shaving is epic, haircuts are not.

82. Entire albums must be recorded in the same key.

83. For that matter, entire careers may also be recorded in the same key.

84. Guitarists, remember: dun da-da dun da-da dun da-da…

85. Make your band logo very angular, but perfectly legible.

86. More than a logo, you need a mascot.

87. He need not be distinguishable from Eddie, but he does need to be on all your album covers.

88. At your first gig, if you feel a "rising force," do be sure not to get it all over your audience.

89. Record your best songs unplugged, and sell them as an EP.

90. Do not expect anyone to buy the EP.

91. Remember, power metal fans are not gay. They are just comfortable with their masculinity.

92. Sing along.

93. Don't get caught singing along.

94. Glitter is not epic.

95. Neither is body oil. See rule #47.

96. If you see a black metaller in the woods pretending to be a troll, see rule #9 and rule #63.

97. In your liner notes, thank everybody you toured with, even if they're Stratovarius.

98. Complain about Stratovarius constantly even though you've bought all their albums and listen to them more than anything else in your collection.

99. Power metal must be pure; do not mix it with other metal styles.

100. To repeat: be epic.

101. I ran out of funny things to say way back at rule #52, but any less than 101 rules would so not be

GaryTaloSyrjani:
You and every emo in the entire world sicken me!

Don' you realize it's just a fad, like pogs or silly putty? Although much unlike the two of them, it'll never come back....

Hey, wait a second.... Didn't something like this already happen, where every loser in the world found a belonging? Where all the outcasts of society gathered and listened to a specific genre of music before it quickly dissapated? Oh ya, it did DISCO!

You are totally gay man, I compare emos to disco diehards, it's just a fad and you're wasting your time. Go read a book man


Emofirechikn:
wow
oblivious


GaryTaloSyrjani:
Are you admitting to being oblivious as to what is happening to your emo society? It's fading man


Emofirechikn:
no im saying you are
by what you wrote me first


GaryTaloSyrjani:
How can you call a Garden Gnome oblivious?

How can I be oblivious if I know all and see all?


Emofirechikn:
so your saying your omniscient?


GaryTaloSyrjani:
Yes, yes I am


Emofirechikn:
Doubtful


GaryTaloSyrjani:
That's no comeback, I win


Emofirechikn:
obviously i dont want to waste my time with you
if you have your ideas heavy set and bent on being right then go right ahead,
there is a reason for everythingso what, theres a fad, there are real actual people who are 'emo' that are depressed and such then there is the others who just want to look like them cause they like the style, much like STRIPES
and chochy people
or pr kids and black and chains
and just because people like piercings on their face does not mean that they are emo


GaryTaloSyrjani:
You my good sir are a right, Dildo!

You haven't a clue what you're talking about, I can't wait to make a blog about this. Everyone will laugh and laugh and laugh and think, oh my, what a loser. I hope that you realize you're the downfall of society