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here comes goodbye.
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11:44pm | Apr 27, '09 | Public
it really meant alot to me when i found out you got me stuff.. i just wished i hadn't have spent all my money on booze so that i could have got you something. but that's why i am giving this back because you mean soooo much to me and i just don't seem to be letting go of you at all.

everytime i see this i stop to give it a cuddle and it reminds me of what we used to have... the way i always used to hold you and pretend to be watching tv with you. but it's hard to pay attention to tv when all you can think about is how much you never had to let go. i wish i could stay there and hold you forever because there really isn't much else that matters to me.

but look at us now.. i can't say that i have been happy since may 24. but it's not that i am any different than i was before i met you, it's just now i know what it's like to be truely happy. and the only time i am is when im with you and when i know your there for me to hug or hold or kiss or talk to. but now your gone forever and have probably moved on.

but you will always be in my heart and i will never let you go or go a day without you crossing my mind. so far i can barely go a minute or two without your crossing it. you mean the world to me and have since we became friends. i was just afraid at the time... afraid of this.

but im sorry you had to wait and im sorry for anything else i have done to hurt you. i would never mean to.

i'll always love you, no matter what.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


so yeah, wow. i can't believe that this is all like this. i mean a year ago i never thought i would be sitting here writing this. i don't even know what to say. i miss you, that's for sure. and i know you are sick of hearing it but im sorry.. for absolutely everything. this, it's just not right. nothing is.. and i know that you know that. like i am well aware of what i have done to hurt you, and what it has done to you, but have you even took the time to see how i am these days? didn't think so.

you really don't know how much of a wreck i am without you, do you? i can't believe out of all people you would do this to me, and her. you know for a fact how much i fucking loved you, and still do. through everything i still loved you, even though i messed up a million times, but i guess you were really too stupid to see that. but than again, look how stupid i acted. but i would never do what you did to me. date my best friend? that's like me dating one of your best friends. it's soo wrong. like, are you too blind to see that?

i don't know how im managing to write this without crying, what happened to us? i mean, i know, but we had everything. we had more love for eachother than anyone i know. i don't care what you say or think but you will NEVER be able to love someone the way you loved me. no love is ever the same as the next. you need to understand that.

everyone knows were meant to be with eachother. were you just kidding about everything you said to me and think back, did you lie about it all? if not, and if you did mean everything you said, than why has everything turned out the way it has? because for two people who loved eachother that much, and i know still do, that feeling will never dissapear, or go away. it'll just be burried, deep inside. i know well enough that everything i said to you was true, and i still cry every god damn night over this shit.

you say i never really loved you? bullshit. why are you still sticking around talking smack about me and trying to get me mad? whatever your excuse, i'll never believe it. it's cause you still care. people who are over somone don't waste their time doing that.

do you not remember our conversations on the phone? that would go on into hours of the night, even on school days. who do you do that with? nobody. do you call her at two in the morning because you were worried and wanted to make sure everything was okay? didn't think so. cause i sure do remember that phone call. im glad that i've made a mark on you, and you have made your mark on me. you'll never forget me, no matter how hard you try. we had the real thing. we had love.

what happened to forever and always? look at us. it's not right, i know you know it's not. everything is just so wrong these days. i know you won't, but im always going to be here, waiting. i want you so bad. i don't think i have ever wanted anything so much. you mean the entire world to me, and you always will.

forever and always, promise.






 
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[-]
tyler little,
Comments (2)
12:57am | Mar 12, '09 | Public
happy sixteenth birthday!
i left some flowers and the note that i wrote you.
i went back to where they found your body, and left some flowers there too.
it was hard, but it was something i promised you i would do when i was ready.
standing in the spot where you took your last breaths, was the hardest thing
that i have ever had to do in my whole entire life.
i also let a balloon go for you, but you probably popped it ..haha.
i miss you sunnyjim.
♥
 
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this can't be happening .
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07:40pm | Mar 07, '09 | Public
" everybody raise your glass, were getting fucked up tonight! "

all i need is for you to come back, to all your friends and family.
where you have people who love you and miss you,
and some who can barely make it through the day with you gone.
there is people who need you, and everyone wants you home.
there's ones who have you on their mind every second of the day, even when they're sleeping.
the tears we have cried, the days we have shared the friends we have made, the nights we can't fall asleep the dreams we have dreamt, the stupid things we have done, the memories we have made and so much more .. were all because of you.

rip
tyler little
♥
 
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tyler little;

wow . i can't believe you are gone . this honestly feels like one big nightmare and i just want to wake up already . i never thought that when i went to school friday morning , that i would be hearing the words ' tyler little is missing ' .. and then the worst part , that you were dead .. that sent me into shock .

i haven't been able to sleep , eat , nothing . i feel sick all the time and can't stop shaking . knowing that i will never be able to talk to you again , or hug you .. it hurts so much . i remember whenever i signed on msn you would always pop up and say something that would brighten my day , even in my worst mood . you always knew how to put a smile on someone's face .. even though it may not have seemed like it , you were someone that i could trust with my life , and tell anything too . now that your gone , i don't know what im gonna do . you have touched so many people's lives and so many people are being affected by this . you had so many people that loved and cared for you .. and we always , always will . i know you wouldn't want us to be sitting around here , being upset over you . but it's so hard . this was so random and you did not deserve this .. nobody does . you were way to young to die tyler , but i guess only the great die young . i wish i could have told you so many more things that i never got to say .. that just shows you how short life can be . you lived every single day to the fullest , and did whatever the hell you wanted . i was always there for you , and you were always there for me .. im going to miss that so much . i still have the get well card that you and josh got me , just cause you stole it , and i wasn't even sick , haha . we have shared some good times ty , and i will never let go of those memories that i had with you .

- i remember , we were at brittany's and i went outside with you and josh , and right when i walked out the door , you looked at me , with the most serious face on and your like .. ' hayden , im getting my kiss tonight . ' and im like ' oh really now . ' then you were like ' yeah , get over here . ' hahah . than when i was taking pictures with you , and you decided to shove some green jelly beans up your nose , you were such a funny kid ..

- it was the stirling fair and i was hanging out with you , chris , ben and ryan . and we heard that hank wanted to fight all you guys cause he thought that i was hooking up with all of you , and right away you were like ' oooo , where's hank , i'll fight him ! i'll be able to take him . ' you always had my back man , thanks so much .

- you , me , chris , ben and ryan were walking around the stirling fair , trying to find people , and you guys were looking for hank . you were drinking a rockstar vodka , and were already fucked out of your mind from other shit you drank . i walk up beside you and go ' tyleer , can i have that ? ' in the nicest way . you look at me and say ' hahahahah , NO . ' and smiled . so when you weren't looking i snuck up behind you and grabbed it out of your hands , you yelled at me while laughing then took another sip and let me have it .

- one day kylee was shadowing stacie and it was her first time meeting you . so we were all sitting around in the caf at the table . then you came over , and had this weird look on your face , and you looked at kylee and your like ' just say it , i know your thinking it , so just say it , my pants are gay . ' and everyone just started laughing .
ps - i never thought your pants were gay, i loved your skinny jeans haha

- me and megan were sitting in english class one day , waiting for the teacher . and you walked in , my jaw dropped and i just started laughing . then megan was giving me this weird look like , what the hell are you laughing at ? so i look at you and i go ' heey .. tyler , nice pants . ' and you look at me and im like ' yeah , were wearing the same ones haha . ' you just started laughing and smiled .

- those days in math class when we had mr. davidson in gade nine . i sat beside josh and you , chris and adam sat behind us . i used to talk to josh and whenever he talked to me the teacher would catch him and he got kicked out or how all you guys would chirp me and make fun of everything and anything i did . i must admit , at the time it got annoying but all i could do was laugh . you guys thought it was the funniest thing ever , because sometimes i just got so mad at all of you . the way you said some things , and the stupid sounds you made .. how could i get mad at that ? you guys did it all semester , every single day . but it was all in good fun .

- me and stacie were outside , looking at pictures on my camera .. and there were some that were really bad pictures of us , cause we had no make up on , and were all dressed up .. anyways , you , chris , ben and ryan and the guys wanted to see the pictures , so ben grabbed my camera from me and started running around with it , so me and stacie were like ' noo ! ' then you guys started playing football with it , and i remember ryan passed it to you , and it dropped right through your hands and into the muddy feild . you looked at me with this shocked looked on your face and your like ' oh my god ! oh shiiiiiit .. sorrry hayden ! ' and i just smiled at you , everyone was laughing .

whenever i hear the song ' your guardian angel ' the first thing that pops into my head is you .. i remember you singing it to me one time in grade nine .. you made me laugh so hard , then you gave me this serious look and were like ' hayden , why are you laughing ? ' haha . i have been listening to that song non stop since i found out the news .. i still can't get it through my head that you are gone , when i see on the news ' police found fifteen year old tyler little's body ' i just sit there .. and say nothing , it's so weird ty ..

you will never be forgotten , especially by me .. nobody will ever be able to replace you , and your always going to have a special place in my heart . i want you to know that you were someone i could trust my life with and you were one of my best friends tyler . im sorry i never had the chance to tell you that .. it sucks i never had the chance to tell you alot of things . i'll always cherish the last time i saw you , and hugged you good bye . before you stepped into that cab , while leaving brittany's house ..

i can't beleive this has happened .. it's just something you would never expect to happen to you , but when it does , your whole world changes .. i know mine has . we will be together one day again tyler , and i can't wait for that day .

love always,
hayden avey.

 
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rip
tyler little
march 11 1993 - january 16 2009

this is so unreal .. you would only expect to hear about these things in movies, or not even happening to you, but when it does, your whole world changes . it seems like just yesterday i was with you ty, hanging out at brittany's with everyone, and when i walked outside and you told me that you were getting your kiss that night, haha . i'll always cherish that last hug that i gave you before you walked into the cab.. not knowing it would be the last hug i would ever give you. the times at the fair that we had, when you always had my back, and stuck up for me . even if some people didn't get to see the amazing side of you, you were a great guy and you have touched already more than a thousand people, in a matter of a night. it's gonna be so hard to get through this, because i dont want you to be gone.. but i know that you are. you will never be forgotten tyler . you always knew how to put a smile on someone's face and you were always there . you will always have a special place in everyone's heart . you were waay to young to die .. you were an amazing kid and i don't know how someone could do that to you , i'll always remember the memories we shared and i will never let go of them .
i wish you could come back ..
i love you .
 
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