If You Read, You Will Judge.





The ManWho SoldThe World

50 Stars to Blind Your Eyes 13 Stripes To Hypnotize

Bulls On Parade.





Veritas
Aequitas

To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.


I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

And Shepherds We Shall Be. For Thee, My Lord, For Thee. Power Hath Descended Forth From Thy Hand, That Our Feet May Swiftly Carry Out Thy Command. So We Shall Flow A River Forth To Thee And Teeming With Souls Shall It Ever Be. In Nomine Patris, Et Filii, Et Spiritus Sancti.

I hate it how people are becoming so superficial and egotistical. How everyone is becoming corrupt over money. I hate money. Money is taking over the world. You cannot do anything without spending money after you pass the age of 10. I hate money becuase everyone will sell out for a certain amount. Everyone has a price. People are killed for money every day. Its stolen, earned, not earned, but its everywhere. This world is coming to an end soon, and i will be there when it is all crashing down upon everyone and i will be laughing because the signs are all there but no one listened or payed any attention at all.

War. I hate war. Why the fuck can we not settle things normally. Its like a drug. Does taking innocent lives away from people give you a fucking rush? Do you think those soldiers who died in the fields were having fun before they died? They died believing in something that did not even exist. They thought that they were making a difference, but really they were just a pawn on a chess board. Why is there an army in Iraq right now? They promiced that they had weapons of mass destruction, that they were gonna bomb us all. We have not seen any proof of this yet. At the same time, the USA has fucking nukes and are using plutonium, but no one says anything because they might look like the fucking enemy. freedom of speech. I love the law, but i hate freedom, becase we have no freedom. If i wanted to tell someone that i hated them, or wanted to express myself, i would get arrested. What the fuck is that about? If i want to protest for my rights, i shouldnt have to be in handcuffs or in the chair to be able to do it. Basically. We Have no Freedom or Freedom of speech. Or else why would the laws of censorship exist? Yeah. Your God Is A Two Door Elevator.

I dislike people who enforce religion. I have my own beliefs, i dont need yours. What your telling me isnt even your own beliefs, they were enforced on to you by that book in your hands. By the people who preach to you in your church. The same people preaching are also molesting kids and doing drugs. Wheres the faith in that? How can someone believe in a book that was mass produced in a factory somewhere? But no! it was written! I swear! There is just no origional copy, and its all in the same handwriting throughout. There are too many flaws in teh bible, in every bible. All religion is taken from other religions. I see religion as this: When your little, your parents want to teach you good manners. So before bed they make up this story, that if you do something bad, you go to hell. If you do good things you will be able to go into heaven where its all good and you will be blessed in the after world. Then this kid grows up and tells that to his kids. People all over are trying to make people behave, and this is the way to do it. More like brainwashing. Religion makes it so you will never experience things in your life that you should experience. It gives your rules, regulations, laws, enforces things on you. For what? Something that might not happen? And why? because you read it in a book? Do you believe everything you hear? Then why would you believe something that is written?

I dislike people who judge other people. I think if you go through all the trouble hating everyone before knowing them than thats fucking stupid. You shoudl take the time out and get ot really know the person before you judge them. But nah, i guess its too much work right? I dislike those celebrity magazines. Why cant they live their own life? I hate how people keep saying "Omg, jen and brad broke up!!!" Big fucking deal! are you their friends? Do you PERSONALLY know them? No, you dont. so why should it matter to you? Millions of wives are beaten every day by husbands and shit and are afraid to break up with them and you worry about 2 fucking people who have no impact on society, but hey, they do look good right? Also, whats the difference between stalking someone and what these people do that take the pictures? They follow them arouond photographing them all hours of the day. Fucking media whores.

I despize the media. Media has fucked up this world so bad, there is no going back. Everywhere you go, there are things telling you how to act, what to wear, how to look, what to dislike, what to like, what you should listen to. They control you. You dont even know it. They make it so skinny is the new thing. If the media has not existed, there would be no fashion, no one to tell you what ugly is. Imagine that. Walking down the street with no media, you could see a person who really looks horrid and disgusting, but since the media hasnt imprinted an image in your mind on what looks good, you would say "wow, what a beautiful person". People would still disagree with you, because everyone would have their own taste. There would be no more of these cliques, or groups. No more jocks, pucks(people who only date hockey players), goths, punks, potheads...i could go on but i need all the room i have. No one would be classified into those groups. It would be amazing.

I hate racism. Rascism is fucking retarded. What is so bad about being a different color? When you color a picture, do you not like to use the blue crayon just because its blue? Racism is one of the most things people die for each year. Where i live, racism is huge. Gangs are against whites, and have initiations that you need to stab a white guy or rape a white girl just to get into it. Yet they wonder why we are racist to them? I also hate how if someone is being racist in public and you say somthing then you look racist. This world is fucked.

I hate it how people take things for granted. You always hear people saying how they think their too fat, their legs are chubby, their arms are too skinny or something like that. Yet at the same time there are people who would give anything to have an arm or a leg because they lost theirs. Your given what your given so you gotta learn to deal with it. No one is perfect. Not even those models you see in magazines. Look closely and you can see their shoulder blades, rib cage, back bone....ya its not healthy. You should be thankful you still have what you have.

I dislike how people are homophobic. What have gay people ever done to you? If they hit on you so what? its a compliment. You look good to both sex's. Concider yourself good looking. They think that homosexuality is such a bad thing. If you love someone...are you going to show it? Being gay is not about the sex. Its what you feel comfterable with. so what if a guy feels comfterable with other guys. Is it a crime? Its love. How can you dislike people for loving? Everyone Loves.

I belive in Rebellion. I hate how people dont stand up for themselves. If something/someone is upseting you, then fucking stand up and repent. Dont take shit from no one if you dont have to. At some point in your life, you should rebel agaisnt something, because if you dont stand up for yourself, then people are always going to walk right over you just because they know that they can. People are always taking advantage of other people and that needs to stop. I also hate hard drugs. If you do them, whatever, but why? They fuck up your life so much and they ruin friendships, families, lives, people around you. Why do them? its retarded. These are my thoughts, my beliefs, and my views/images on things. Please do not take them wihtout asking me first(and wait for a responce). Comment if you like, but if its a bad one, dont expect me to be all nice about it. Peace out, have a nice day.[/size]