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Getting distorted and undergoing the process of photosynthesis

Playing my Banjo

Intense Lawn Bowling games

Being bad to the Bone

Kickin it Old School

Solving Complex Equations

Jellybeans

One Summer morning I was on the way to 7-11 to pick up some pokemon cards, i hit a rock and fell off my scooter............thats when i realized to hate everyone and everything.

Being the best looking guy in canada.

Sleeping with my teddy bear Dusty Rump

Midget Hunting

Going to Achoholics Annonymous meatings

McDonalds, My best friends are the Big Mac and McChicken

Ali G

Nights i'll never remeber with friends i'll never forget

Scotch Whiskey

Long walks on the beach

Phat Farm and Spinning Bling Bling Bling Bling Bling

Jackass

A day without sunshine is night.

My Tomogachi, when it poops i clean it.

Being voted most likely to become homeless.

Riding my Unicycle to work

Working at Goodburger Home of the Goodburger

My "Hello Kitty" placemat

Barney Videos

When Michael Jackson touches me............

Dudes in trenchcoats who hunt Werewolves

Transformations, into what? I have no fucking clue but if you can transform thats cool man.

GI-JO and GI-JANE

When goats have sex and make baby goats

One time i saw a dog eat its own poop and then i though why cant i do that!

Chocolate covered grasshoppers

Really old chinese people who say cool things i cant understand

Seeing how screwed up other peoples lives are so mine doesnt seem so bad

Cows flying in tornados

Taurine

Morpheine

Caffeine

Pirates

Boobs on national geopgraphic, ones with the pointy 3 inch nippples

Hunting ladybugs

Rednecks and Hillbillies

Nothing like a warm beer, Kinda like a warm toilet seat

Brokeback mountain

Reading peoples minds

Fat Chicks Undergarments

Prosthetic Limbs

Head Bands

I am sofa king cool

Pickle Factories

Team America "Fuck Yeah"

True story, A friend of a friend was happy. He and his girlfriend had been dating for over a year, and so they decided to get married. Their parents helped them in every way, his friends encouraged him, and his girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering him, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. His prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near him and he got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked him to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when he arrived. She whispered to him that soon he was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for him that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told him that she wanted to make love to him just once before he got married and committed his life to her sister. He was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." He was stunned. He was frozen in shock as He watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at him. He stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. He opened the door and stepped out of the house. He walked straight towards his car. His future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged him and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

My Wheels