1 thing in life I've learned is to live fast and die young. Live the fastest, funnest, adrenaline filled life and hope to die fast in a blaze of glory! There's no point in living a long life of constant worry and suffering.
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it'm not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Repeat Chorus]
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
[Repeat Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
I just woke up from a nightmare... Everything was all ascued and vivid... I was trapped in a twisted hospital where everyone was suffering... Doctors themselves were even wounded... Everyone was all deformed and they looked either mutated or they were walking corpse... I was told to go around the hospital with this weird item they gave me that looked like some kind of a Chinese charm and I was supposed to go around asking patients if they had a ghost story to tell and they would instantly stand up and get like 2 inches away from my face and beg me not to buy their ghost story then they'd go back to wherever they got up from... Some of these patients were also dead and the hospital had no more room to place the dead bodies so they would leave the corpse on the rollie stretchers out on the hallways... I asked the corpse and even they got up 2 inches away from my face and begged me not to buy their ghost story as if it would trap their soul for eternity in restlessness... I found these 2 extremely fat, deformed and ugly looking ladies sitting in some waiting room with couches and they were the only ones that looked alive in the hospital and I noticed that it was getting harder and harder for me to talk and with each breath I could only make out a word... Soon those words turned only to syllables and then I struggled to breathe... I tried to get one of those ladies to tell me their ghost story and one of them started telling me one and while she was telling me this I couldn't breathe... I struggled for a gasp of air and finally I woke up... No my face wasn't in the pillow... In fact I was lying on my back where I could breathe normally but for some odd reason that nightmare wouldn't allow me to breathe... Something tells me that these nightmares have just begun and they don't plan on leaving for quite some time...
[Verse]
For fuck's sakes!
Enough with the heart-aches and the heart-breaks
I pray to the lord for him to take
But he doesn't listen to fakes
So here I am lying awake
Wondering how long it'll take
For me to learn from my mistake
To stop this cycle from spinning with a stake
[Chorus]
Love does more than just hurt
It's like a severed heart that just bleeds and spurt
Erase this pain and fill it with fame
Take away my shame and replace it with good name
Give me strength to get back in this game
Let it rain... Let it rain... So it can mask these tears of pain.
[Verse]
How can one tell you love is patient, love is kind
When you're going in there completely blind
A little something everyone seeks to find
But I can't seem to make up my mind
Whether to surrender or endure the grind
[Chorus]
Love does more than just hurt
It's like a severed heart that just bleeds and spurt
Erase this pain and fill it with fame
Take away this shame and replace it with good name
Give me strength to get back in this game
Let it rain... Let it rain... So it can mask these tears of pain.
[Verse]
I've mistaken love for passionate lust
But I realize I need someone to trust
To find this is a must
Even till now it's been a total bust
And I feel myself developing rust
[Chorus]
Love does more than just hurt
It's like a severed heart that just bleeds and spurt
Erase this pain and fill it with fame
Take away this shame and replace it with good name
Give me strength to get back in this game
Let it rain... Let it rain... So it can mask these tears of pain.
[Verse]
I've spilled my heart out on the table
Just like one of them fables with happy endings
But this is real life where any ending would be a blessing
And this is just me confessing every wound that's been festering
[Chorus]
Love does more than just hurt
It's like a severed heart that just bleeds and spurt
Erase this pain and fill it with fame
Take away this shame and replace it with good name
Give me strength to get back in this game
Let it rain... Let it rain... So it can mask these tears of pain.
Well I broke up with Alyssa after 7 months of hell... I applied to 2 Universities and I got accepted to U of C and waiting on UBCO's reply. I'm currently going out with Kaydree who lives like about 8 min walk away from my place. She's so cute and I like her a lot. My iPod's busted which pisses me off... My Dad moved out and got his own place... My Mom divorced her husband and that's pretty much what's happened recently...
Come on!
I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static
And put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back
It's true, the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
(You, now I see, keeping everything inside)
With you
(You, now I see, even when I close my eyes)
With you
(You, now I see, keeping everything inside)
With you
(You, now I see, even when I close my eyes)
With you
Ughhhh!
I hit you and you hit me back
And we fall to the floor
The rest of the day stands still
Fine line between this and that
But when things go wrong, I pretend the past isn't real
Now I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
Even though you're close to me
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back
It's true, the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
(You, now I see, keeping everything inside)
With you
(You, now I see, even when I close my eyes)
With you
(You, now I see, keeping everything inside)
With you
(You, now I see, even when I close my eyes)
Ughhhh!
(No)
I wont let you control my fate while i'm holding the weight of
the world on my concience
(No)
I wont just sit here and wait while you weighin your options
Your makin a fool of me
(No)
You didnt dare to try and say you dont care
And salamly swear not to follow me there
(No)
It aint like me to beg on my knees
Or, please oh baby please
Thats not how i'm doin things
(No)
No i'm not upset, no i'm not angry
I know love is love and love sometimes, it doesnt pay me
(No)
I'm never without you, i'll always be with you
You'll never forget me, i'm keeping you with me
(No)
I wont let you take me to the end of my row
Or keep burning and torching my soul
(No)
No i'm not your puppet
And no, no, no, I wont let you go
No, no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
No matter how far we've come
I, I can't wait to see tomorrow
With you
(You, now I see, keeping everything inside)
With you
(You, now I see, even when I close my eyes)
With you
(You, now I see, keeping everything inside)
With you
(You, now I see, even when I close my eyes)
Ughhhhh!
Listening to my heart as it tares
I'm broken and beyond repair
Feels as though there's nothing but despair
Yet only very few care
Scavenging for something to hold on to
Realizing that pain is nothing new
I wonder to myself if love is true
And if so then who?
They say I have severe abandonment issues
But I'm not the type that buries my face behind tissues
Constantly struggling through life
Contemplating whether or not I should just use the knife
If it hadn't have been for hope
I'd probably be hanging from a rope
This life is extremely difficult to cope
In my broken family I feel no love
All I feel is depression crushing me from above
I've tried to close my eyes and wish for a better day
I've even gone so far as to even pray
But nothing changes by what I say
There's only 1 think that's motivating me
This beautiful angel that's sent to set me free
Can this really be?
I believe that she's the only one for me.
For a while I thought this to be true
But now it's hell she's putting me through
All has forsaken me.
Death has taken me.
I wish you wouldn't. I wish you hadn't. I wish you didn't. I wish we could've. I wish we were. I wish to stop wishing...
