"what a ******* deucer eh!" - me manning and flathers <== he is a retard
"is there instructions on this thing?" - cory , that's the day it started buddy
"if i wasn't so fu.cking drunk right now i'd probably be mad" - stolly
"drive the fu.cking sone of a b.itch through the f.ucking boards" - my dad
" giv'r eh!"
"what a beauty"
"good wholesome goodness"
.-I’m a f*cking hockey player and the world is my playground. Girls love me and guys who don’t have my talent want to be me. It’s a simple fact of life, and something I have learned to cope with. So, did I abandon my school to get the cheap thrill of playing junior hockey? Well not, totally, and did it really f*cking matter? Now I’m on a full ride at University because I'm good a t a simple sport that people love. My junior team even chucked me an extra $1500.00 a year for the next four years to thank me for my services. F*ck, I’m brilliant. I lived the life in junior, banged only the hottest girls my town had to offer and now I’m at University for free-
LIFE IS A JOKE......BECAUSE I PLAY HOCKEY
Great story about something that happened to me the other night.
The other night me and the boys are heading back after winning a hardfought battle. It was about 11:30 and there are 4 of us in the car when we my buddy gets a phone call from his brother saying there are 35 people at his house for a party. Before we had been a little tired but now we were starting to wake up a little bit. We all threw in wankers (our made up term for chew) and started singing some tunes on the radio.
Then we start talking about the broads that are at this kids house. There are supposedly 7-8 decent lookin puckbunnies and one that is just a comeplete slampig.
This is no ordinary slampig either, I'm talkin 250 pounds, pimples everywhere just a disgusting sight.
Our motto all year however has been "hey I got no standards", so basically **** anything with a pussy.
So of course i come out and say "hey i got no standards but bethany" everyone agrees and we keep enjoying the delicious taste of skoal mint. A while passes and we finally get back to this guys house where some of the people had left but there were still a few troopers around willing to stick it out all night. We walk in have a few beers, mingle around a little and then start tryin to wheel some broads.
With our luck these girls arent really into it and apparently are getting ready to leave. some between the 15 or so guys that were there we were now down to 4 sluts one being the blimp. so by now were all horny as bastards so were now thinking were gonna have to be taking line changes on these tramps.
Were sittin around havin another wanker watchin highlights of the nhl skills comp and workin these broads when of course the linebacker comes and sits by me.She starts rubbin up against me and is tryin to get me. now I think ive had enough. the skills comp ends and by now its 3 am so i say im shuttin her down and go inot my buddies room to get some rest. two minutes later the door opens and someone sits down next to me. its the 250 pounder, bethany, or as we call her the big "B".
She starts talkin and i have had enough obviously she isnt going to leave so i say "why dont you make yourself useful and give me a backrub" she proceeds to give me a backrub and i still have yet to look at her face since she entered the room. then she asks the question, "why arent you all into the kissing stuff" i roll over with a shocked look on my face where im thinking I cant believe this slampig really is workin me. before i know it she has tackled me and is swallowing my face.
I didnt know what to do. so naturally im thinking i gotta get out of this. all of the sudden she gets off me to allow me to breathe and starts unbuttoning her own pants. this **** was taking off her own pants.
By now i had gone to far and hadnt gotten out soon enough to the point where the only way to end it was to blow my load. So i close my eyes and took one for the team railing the big "B" until i was finally able to finish. i then pretended to go to bed and she left the house shortly thereafter.
As soon as she left all of my buddies came storming in laughing hysterically. we all threw in another wanker and finally shut her down for good.the moral of this story is that when it comes down to it, most hockey players have no standards at all and the story is sometimes better than banging the puckslut.
No Standards
.
