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THE HOCKEY PLAYER
The cockiest, dirtiest, most irresponsible group of athletes in the world. Will do anything just to be able to tell his teammates a great story in the dressing room. Live the dream until they are 35 then realize they never made it. Ladies love us, guys want to be us, we are the soul of the universe. You lace up the skates, put on the gloves, strap on the helmet, and walk on to the ice and nothing else matters. It doesn't matter that you failed a test, your girl is being a bitch, or that you got a ticket on the way there...you're world is absolutely perfect for the next couple hours. Here's to faceoffs, goals, assists, overtime, living on the road, cold rinks, early mornings, breakaways, going top cheese, countless hours of practice, bag skates, puking, thousands of dollars, dangling d-men, end to end rushes, big hits, broken twigs, new skates, packing bombs, dropping the mits, wheelin' broads, coaches, adding the letter "y" to the end of everyone's last name, the word "fuck", pick up, tape to tape sauce, let downs, miracles and most of all - the game of Hockey.?Why? Why do we skate back and forth night after night? Skating so hard we throw up. Skating so hard your heart beat rings in your head, while your lungs are grasping for air. Late nights, early mornings, Friday nights, Saturday evenings, broken bones, torn muscles and deep bruises. We skate through it all. Because we live off our adrenaline, because the game frees your spirit, because the party in the locker room is second to none, because you're invincible once you step on the ice, because, one shot can make you smile all night, sniping the twine, backy shelf where momma keeps the peanut butter, the rattling of the boards, the feel of the puck, and skates carving into the ice is a rhythm to live by, because its possible to skate fast enough to leave all your worries behind. Sweat is the cologne of our accomplishment. Why would someone push themselves so hard the uneducated pussies always ask? HOUSE LEAGUE, A, AA, AAA, JR.A, OHL, WHL, US COLLEGE, NHL ... It's never been for the fucking the money, it's not for the girls, and it's not for the fame. The Boys' play because we fucking love it ... If you are a hockey player and you are proud to be one, pass this shit on with pride mother fucker, and let everyone know the definition of a man..





Being able to make the biggest save or score the tieing goal
in the dying minutes of the third to keep your team in the most
important game of the season, or get hit huge and get right back
up and give the other guy wat he had comin, or to get scored on 30 seconds into the game
and rebound back with 10 highlight real saves. or drop the gloves and tussel with
the biggest guy on the ice, get your ass handed to you, get 20 odd stitches and say it was
an even match and then give it all you got next shift is the true meaning of being a hockey player.
Do all this and have the ambition to keep goin and win it all is the true meaning of being a hockey player




The Player's Psalm



The coach is my shepherd
I shall not get penalized
He maketh me to do skating drills
My captain leadeth me into games
He restoreth my faith
He leadeth me into the path of winning games for the team's sake
Yea though I face the wrath of the coach
I will fear no evil
for my stick is with me
my pads and my helmet they comfort me
They preparest game situations for me
In the presance of my rivals
They annointest my body with sweat
My water bottle runneth over
Surely stats and games shall follow me for all the days of my career
And I will dwell on winning the Stanley Cup forever

"Hockey's a funny game. You have to prove yourself every shift
every game. It's not up to anybody else. You have to take pride in yourself."



10 REASONS TO DATE A HOCKEY PLAYER



1. They always wear protection.
2. They have great hands.
3. They are used to scoring.
4. They have great stamina.
5. They find the opening and get it in.
6. They never miss the target.
7. They know how to use their wood.
8. They have long sticks.
9. They know when to play rough.
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls.



Top Ten Signs You're Dating a Hockey Player

10. Eating the last Fig Newton gets you bodychecked into the fridge.
9. He's very sensitive on the topic of "stick curvature."
8. After going out, makes you line up and shake hands with all his ex-girlfriends.
7. Bad enough he consummates lovemaking by shouting, "He scores!"
6. During arguments he sends you to the penalty box for "2 minutes for pissing me off."
5. He refuses to valet park the Zamboni.
4. For breakfast, he hands each kid a spoon and tosses an Eggo in the middle of the table.
3. Demanded credit for an assist when you slept with his best friend.
2. Favorite Restaurant: Dinner in a Blender
1. Talks funny and likes to beat up people, but doesn't come from Alabama



TOP TEN SIGNS THAT THAT NEW TEAMMATE OF YOURS MAY BE A ROOKIE: (Rik A. Kyser)
10. He wonders when "Nap Time" is...
9. He thinks being sent down to Las Vegas is a GOOD thing...
8. He thinks "Road Trips" means traveling via bus...
7. Everyone mispronounces his last name and he won't say anything about it.
6. He thinks preseason games have an "awfully high intesnity level"...
5. You find him duct-taped to his locker after practice...
4. He thinks Coach is a "Pretty good guy!".
3. He actually follows curfew...
2. He freezes up every time he's interviewed and says "Uhhhh... ummmm... uhhhh...".
1. He keeps asking "CAN I DRIVE THE ZAMBONI? CAN I? HUH? CAN I PLEASE?!!!"...

rise against is the shit
































wow this is funny
http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/animals/Walking_​the_Cat/