But you can call me Mahoo.
I live in one shithole of a town, but what can you do??
currently a employee of Parkland CLASS (fuck off, its money)
you see i have this issue, the issue is i always have an uncontrollable
urge to make an ass of myself. you can ask anyone that has spent five minutes
with me i can and will make an ass of myself.
this happens mostly when we go to red deer, i get kicked out of more places then i am allwed to stay in
Oil Change Instructions For Men
1.go to an auto parts store. buy oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree
2. if your used oil container is full, insted of taking it somewhere to get it recycled, dump used oil in hole in back yard.
3.open beer and drink it.
4. jack car up. spend 30 minutes loking for car jack
5.find jack stands under kids pdal car
6.in frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. place drain pan under engine.
8.look for 9/16th wrence.
9.give up and use crescent wrench.
10.unscrew drain plug
11.drop plug in pan of hot oil. get hot oil onyou in the process. dump oil in hole in abckyard.
12. clean up mess.
13.have another beer while watching oil drain.
14. look for oil filter wrench
15. give up, poke oil filter with screw driver and twist off.
16.beer.
17. buddy shows up to watch football game. drink beer with him, finish oil change tomorrow
18. next day, drag oil pan from under car
19.throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18
20. beer? no drank it all yesterday
21.walk to store to get beer
22.install new oil filter
23.dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. remember oil plug from step 11.
25. hurry to find drain plug in drain pan
26. rememebr that plug is buried in hole in the back yard.
27. drink beer
28. uncover hole and sift for drain plug
29.discover first quart of oil is all over garage floor.
30. beer
31.slip with wrench while tightening plug, scrape knuckles on frame./
32.bang head on floor boards in reaction to last step.
33.begin cussing fit.
34.throw wrench.
35.cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hits miss december pinup, ripping the poster
36.beer
37.clean up, bandage hands and forehead as required to stop bood flow.
38.beer
39. beer
40.dump in 5 quarts of oil
41. beer
42. lower car from jack stands
43. accidentally crush one opf the jack stands
44. move car abck and alpply fresh kitty litter to oil spilled in step 23
45.45. beer
46. test drive car.
47. get arrested for DUI
48. get car impounded
49. makw bail. get car from impound yard.
MONEY SPENT:
$50 parts
$25 beer
$75 oil
$1000 bail
$1100 towing and impound
$1800 attourneys fee
$1750 fine
$800 community service fee
TOTAL $6600
OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN
1. pull up to jiffy lube when the mileage reaches 5000 km
2. enjoy a latte
3. 15 muins later, cut check and leave
TOTAL SPENT
$20 for oil change
$3 for latte
total-$23.
