as a kaleidoscopic range of fascinating colors does a being receive its first rays of light. percussive sensory attraction leads a life into a world un-formulaic, un-developed and enchanted. trees of myth enfold and hold the child in their arms. may the trees unfold. blissful oak. lay your head against and rest. blissful oak. stay the fire; hold close your innocence. blissful oak. before the fear sets in. before the hulk of man wrests pity and heart that stalks the ground to rest. whisper these words that a moment of true existence could last a lifetime.

I've started to become aware of the clamour surrounding "nerds". I mean it was kind of burning in the background for the last five or six years but in recent times its realllllyyy come to a head. Like somehow its "cool" to be a nerd. Or that the average person, armed with a World of Warcraft account or possibly with vans slip ons, tight pants and a shy demeanor, is somehow a "nerd".

Lets get one thing fucking straight.

When I was a kid I got beaten down for liking the things I liked. I was completely ostracised, picked on, turned into a different person. I learned some (thankfully not all) of what I know about people during that time. And you know what? I never changed who I am. I still watch the X-Files. I still listen to death metal. I still like dungeons and fucking dragons. I STILL READ DRAGONLANCE. Sorry dude, if you're playing WoW and just having a grand old time with all your bros, you know what? Thats hard. thats fucking awesome. Good for you for having what I didnt have when I was a teenager. But DONT give me a funny look and laugh and say "oh I KNOWWW, Im such a NERD, right?" You shut the fuck up. You want to call yourself a nerd, bend the fuck over and let me kick your ass and mock your values as many times as those fucking assclowns did when I was 13.

And ANOTHER THING. Whats with all these girls who dress like slutty american apparel models, wearing huge glasses, six gallons of make-up, fuck-me dress or v-neck and cowboy boots.... and then saying how "nerdy" they are and how "reading" somehow makes them a nerd? As opposed to the 90% of literate americans? Are they ALL nerds? Man, if "nerd" just means "average fucking idiot" I guess Im NOT a nerd anymore, I must be a redneck or some shit. You're a hot teenage girl. Calling yourself a nerd in order to attract a different cadre of boys is a totally different thing than getting pushed around and called a faggot on the basis of your interests. I bet if other girls kicked you in the cunt and threw you around and called you "fag" for READING, you'd probably stop. Well I wouldn't, and didn't.

Now, I've spent a very profane four paragraphs telling you what nerds AREN'T. Here is what they ARE:

- long haired, dorky, awkward, socially inept boys who want to be musical but can't grasp the discipline, and who are too afraid to set themselves up for any other form of harassment by admitting they aren't interested in drugs or partying.

- Nervous, plain-looking women who had trouble fitting in for reasons that are never clear to anyone and who mostly just want to be left alone.

- Girls who dress like boys, study hard, get good grades, are sensible and well-grounded.

- Boy who dress like girls, study hard, get good grades, and aren't interested in frivolty or sports.

- Lets make this FUCKING clear: the ONLY musicians who are nerds are musicians who are so totally unafraid to be themselves and take chances that they have few to no fans anyway. Popular, successful musicians are ALL excellent at fitting in, making friends, surviving in the shittiest industry on earth and schmoozing and sucking cock. Only after a nerd dies/quits/disappears does his/her music suddenly receive acclaim. It's Van Gogh syndrome. When you aren't actually TALKING to the person in front of you, by dint of them being long dead or in another country, suddenly their music is way more palatable/marketable.

- Let's also make THIS clear: BEING SKINNY DOES NOT EQUAL NERD. Conversely, being morbidly obese does not make you a nerd. If you're a huge woman who still wears 600$ size 16 jeans, still has a tramp stamp, and still goes to ultralounges looking to get fucked, you are not a nerd. I don't care what you ARE, only what you AREN'T, and that is LIKE ME.

So good for you if you like WoW. Props if 300 got you interested in comic books. Suddenly you're a fan of Adult Swim because of whatever obvious prime time shit Cartoon Network airs now? Great! But the second you turn your guccied shoes or bat your massive, luscious eyelashes at me and say "oh I KNOWWW.... Im such a NERD, teeheehee!" Alllllll those years of shit I took are gonna come back and land you in some serious hurts. Go for it, try me, I've been working out.

.... is the closest thing ever recorded in a modern context that I can actually proudly state I "relate" to.

It's the best record I've heard since Rust In Peace

Any musician can rock the fuck out. Yes Every Time I Die is very good at it. Kurt Cobain was good at it too. So was Kerry King in 1982. So were Sid Vicious and G.G Allin.

Any aspiring guitarist can shred like fuck on a guitar. John McLaughlin and Pat Metheny shredded like crazy in the 1970s. Eddie Van Halen was a mad dog in the 80s, along with a myriad of hopefuls and berkelee students. The chops of Chris Arp and people like Ben Weinman today are unmistakable.

Any drummer can break the sound barrier. Beats which were coming out of Commando Sandoval in 1989 are considered child's play by drummers like MIssile Yueng or John Longstreth today. Technique and perfection have reached new zeniths in the last decade.

Any band can preach about people and the scene. That started in the 30s... blues musicians of the south had plenty to say even in terms of localized social situations. in the last couple of decades this has reached new heights, with music schisming wildly into small groups which accept only the similar and safe. "hardcore" and "metalcore", two nebulous terms, dictate the beliefs of a large group of teenagers across north america.

Yep. Anyone can do all that shit. But the only bands of the 20th century that mattered were the bands comprised of legitimate and sincere artists. ETID is great because they have a basic honesty of purpose, one they stick to. NIrvana the same. Van Halen... the same. Slayer, the same. Mahavishnu Orchestra, the same. Morbid Angel, same. Even Psyopus and DEP.... same.

Shit-talking people on the internet because of technical bullshit about drum triggers you surmised from a Wikipedia article, dumping on people for not buying your singular beliefs and going to shows only to see the bands that most align with the records you own is the death of music... It'll die faster and longer but not in a Napster sort of way. If anything the industry will grow, and profit, from this ignorance and these poor decisions, but the products it serves will become even more consolidated than they are now- and the fringes of the music industry will become "redundant".

Grow up and treat art the way it deserves to be treated.