she looks out on the world. the one who betrayed her, and took everything she cared about. she looked down at the rocky drop below. everything seemed to stand still. the wind stopped, the birds quieted, and then it happened...silence, for the first time in along time. it was like a great wall surounded her as if time itself no longer existed but her and this rocky fall. no chills or scares, no anxiousness, no butterflies. a gentle wind blew up her hair like a soft feather across her face she closed her eyes and took another step forward...a rock shifted under her foot, and a sudden rush of fear flowed through her body. all the other emotions she'd tried to suppress came flooding back, and as she stood there, a million things crossed her mind. what would happen after this? who would care if she fell? a million answers came to her, but the one that was most persistant was "nothing", and "no one will care. why should they?". the little voice in the back of her mind tried to tell her otherwise, but she didn't want to believe it. she couldn't. a voice called to her from the distance, startled she stumbled forward and...she woke up drenched in sweat. her blankets were everywhere, and her mom was outside her door calling her name. telling her it was time to get out of bed. she yelled back that she was up, and wiped the sweat from her brow. she really believed now that dreams usually depict your deepest fears, or your hearts desires. Of course she got prepared as ussual, the make up and hair, with the choice of matching clothes not even knowing why any more, she seemed to think her end was near, without the shadow of a doubt death was no longer a fantasy but a need. when you've tried to wash it away time after time, the smell and the subtle touch you slightly feel every morning when you try to forget how you tried to make it stop but rather how it was your fault, she tried to face him every morning but today was gonna be different, she never showed at the bus stop that morning. they all saw it comming but never took the time to do anything about it. not many people even cared she had few friends that did, and her parents were to busy fighting. he was the first to notice she wasn't there. he asked a few people if they'd seen her, but no one had, they didnt seem to care. he was worried that he was the last one to worry, the last one who cared about her, and wanted to save her but felt he couldn't. he could have, but it might have been to late for that now. he took his seat on the bus, and as the bus started to pull away, he saw her. walking up the street next to the bus. she looked beautiful as the sun reflected off her hair the slight bounce in her step the way her hair swept from side to side with each step. she was wearing the dress she wore on their first date. he made the mistake of not taking her out again. he seemed to avoid her because the other side of her is what he didn't like. she really did feel death was her key, and now he wanted to save her. he had to save her. he knew what she was gonna do, and he tried to stop it, but that morning he rode to far to the back to warn the driver. he never should have let go

The subtle invitaions, the laughter, the smiles, hope, dreams feelings of insecurity and love, today was the day she found you out, the day it ended, why had the end come things should have lasted a little longer more memories and time, just more time thats all you wanted but it has stopped now for there were no more words to be spoken for you could not only hear the heart break when she walked into that room seeing you lay there apon another human another female kind, and her like a serpant taking your time that you had with the one you had loved if only you had stopped at nine, the sweet drink for loss of self controll it could have stopped at nine but it did not and now you can taste blood apon your lips from her heart from when it had broken like in slow time you reach for the door but it seems she is gone before you even saw the light from the other room, gone now like the summer air wich you had first smelled her sweet hair from the first that you had met, gone lke the cold winter night from wich you had held her waiting for the snow to pass, gone like the touch and feeling you had once had spending days away rolling in those sheets from wich you had now killed the rose of love

as the sun lights up the gloden blonde hair all around me you gaze, and when you gaze it isnt the ussual look or feeling for this paticular person you feel for so deeply you swear its love, the blue eyes shine and peer apon you, looking deeply back at yours, you wonder what i see or what i could possibly be thinking i have a blank stare apon my face as you open your mouth to speak you feel it dry up so sudden it almoast takes your breath, you hesitate then speak, speak those words those few words hoping they reach my heart like a destination of a letter, you want it to hit the spot, wanting me to feel the words like a warming blanket in a cold night, i love you slips from your lips slightly shuttering, your lips stay pryed open it seems like years before i respond with thease few words, " isnt this a nice summer day" you almoast take that as rejection and it seems to pierce your heart, your words seemed to have fell short of there destination of the heart but maybe i am just as afraid, you speak again, this time reaching out for my hand, i slowly place mine in yours, you say " you do know i love you, ive felt this for along time now" my head seems to slowly fall peering at the feet below us searching for words, for anything worth speaking, for hurting another person is not our nature nor our pride, i speak under my breath slightly grasping harder onto those warm soft hands, like you havent worked a day in your life so soft and kind yet strong, " i have known you loved me for along time, but no one including me will ever forget the way you treated her" you assure to me that this was your past, you have changed and nothing will change the way you feel for me, you yearn for me and to have me and to hold me forever untill death do us part, this idea of becoming one together and living out our lives has been spokin to me before, before the days of your abusive ways with my best friend, but it was to late, my heart was broke the day she died, im glad she is happy with some one now, for the death she had inside should not last forever not for her or anyone who has been hurt in this way, i leave you behind with your thoughts and feelings and our memorys taking my once dead friends hand, i leave you now and forget you now no more tears shall be shed for what we once where