Spring shame to the family name, Lauren Smith bares it all at playboy themed stripper party:
Members of the Smith family recently expressed their displeasure over leaked pictures found on the internet. These graphic picutres show young Lauren sporting her Paris Hilton-esque skank suit complete with bunny ears and her gym shorts from grade 4. Although all members of the Smith family have declined comment pending legal proceedings, long time family friend and aunt, Leanne Paul stated "disgusting, such a dispicable act, the infamous wooden spoon probably can't even fix it."

It's a nice day for a brown wedding?
Breaking news discovered at www.velasvallarta.com has revealed that family friend and Sushi chef to the stars, Leo (neil) has announced his intention to attend the August wedding between Joel Beauchin and the lovely Lindsay Smith. Rumblings of the southern visitors began to circle last week when the mexican prince himself was seen getting passport pictures taken at the local puerto vallarta Wal-Mart.

Earl Had to Die:
Now to a story with a happy ending. Inside sources have revealed that Surrey babe Taylor Smith has turfed the long time Surrey greaseball, Earl (who cares what his last name is). The split is seen as a positive by most members of the Smith family. Craig Smith was the most outspoken family member "Man that guy was bunk and shit, I was going to kick the shit outta him until he said he liked my truck. SO i let it slide, but that guy is just pure bunk, brutes."

Smith family Member promotes communism:
Despite his best efforts to hide his visit, Brandon Smith recently confirmed to US weekly that he had in fact gone to visit Cuba before Fidel handed over the reigns to his brother several months ago. This union member and long time communist sympathizer has since been seen promoting his socialist ideals to several co workers who have hinted that he may be migrating to communist power China because he believes they promote great socialist ideals and working conditions.

Too much fun at sea?
Well maybe she didn't get off shore, but 18 year old Amanda Smith did manage to slide into the local watering hole of many young sailors, surrey's good old wheelhouse pub. Despite her best efforts to anger a certain older male cousin with her provocative dancing, she was unsuccesful. And while many people have pointed the finger at mother Shirley for allowing this underager to partake in such a greasy horror show of casual morals. This editor and many other members of the family have chosen to blame her closest family member and idol, Jaime Smith.

Stay tuned, this summers newsletter will have a full four page blowout of the Smith-Beauchin wedding as well as an updated report of the Lauren Smith living situation.


Yours in Graffiti,

Cliff Smith