"It is essential to be drunk all the time. That's all: there's no other problem. If you do not want to feel the appalling weight of Time which breaks your shoulders and bends you to the ground, get drunk, and drunk again. What with? Wine, poetry, or being good, please yourself. But get drunk. And if now and then, on the steps of a palace, on the green grass of a ditch, in the glum loneliness of your room, you come to, your drunken state abated or dissolved, ask the wind, ask the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, ask all that runs away, all that groans, all that wheels, all that sings, all that speaks, what time it is; and the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, will tell you: 'It is time to get drunk!' If you do not want to be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk, always get drunk! With wine, with poetry or with being good. As you please."
--Charles Baudelaire, 1866



98% of the teenage population have
not once killed a man in anger.
If you are one of the 2% who has, copy this
into your profile

Dude!


Yeah?


Have you heard? They are making a third Ghostusters movie!


Really?


No lie! I just confirmed it with Dan Akroid. I was like, "Is this shit legit?" and indeed he assured me it was on the level.


That's pretty sweet man. They also have a 4th Ninja Turtle movie coming out in June as well, followed by Transformers: The Live Action Awesome! It's as if they found a way to make my childhood memoreis tangable, wrap them in a bow, and give them back to me as a late summer Christmas present. No offense.


It's cool, that's closer to my real birthday anyway.


You mean weren't born in December?


Totally wasn't. I just didn't want to recieve a bunch of cards and gifts and stuff... you dudes have no concept of what qualifies as a good present for "the chosesn shepard of man". Did you know for my 1st birthday some guy gave me cologne? Who gives that to a baby? Cologne, honestly? I drank half the bottle when it fell in to my crib, and back then the only practical form of medicine was hanging me upside down by the feet and shaking me around until I threw it all back up. Since then I have liked to be more discrete about things.


That's pretty intense... so when is your real birthday?


August 12th.


That's... that's pretty un-epic. I'm kind of dissapointed.


Yeah...


And what exactly would you consider the perfect gift for the Host of Lambs?


Well you're on the right path with Ghostbusters. Maybe if you dudes could crank out a Jurassic Park 4 that'd be pretty cool.


I think we're actually doing that.


However, the pivitol scene would have to involve Sam Niel riding bare-ass drunk on the back of a Spinosaur yelling out dinosaur puns like, "Totally cretaceous!" as he fends off raptors by punching them in the face!


Like: POW! "You're pre-history, bitch!"?


I guarantee you this idea is the balls!