(Note: This Review is fake. It is a joke. I have not heard the album and have no idea what it sounds like. Even if the album does end up being garbage, I would not be this pretentious about it. It is a joke about this story)








Review: Pretty. Odd.

Panic at the Disco (Fueled by Ramen/Decaydance)



Grade: D



Back three years later and with a now punctuation-free name, the emo-dance quartet Panic at the Disco have attempted to follow the same path as fellow over-painted teen-emo stars My Chemical Romance’s The Black Parade and try to appear mature by ripping off classic rock. Only this time it’s slightly more depressing to listen to. The Vegas natives try to be more subtle in their efforts by turning on the Flower-Power instead of the over-drawn theatrics but unfortunately they fail. Epically. You get the feeling listening to their first single Nine In the Afternoon that they think they are tricking us with this blatant Beatles rip-off which is basically Penny Lane by way of Lovely Rita. Sorry boys: We’re not that stupid. As young as your devoted fan-base is, their parents will have listened to those songs already and, if they have any interest whatsoever in the intellectual development of their offspring, will educate them (though chances are slim. Anyone who listens to this garbage probably hasn’t been the most attended to as far as musical education. Sad. Sad. Sad.). The Green Gentleman proves their further delusions, now an apparent attempt at being Bob Dylan. Unfortunately, the only comparison that could be seriously made is in the singing. By the sound of singer Brendon Urie’s voice, he’s spent even more time recording this album being punched in the balls than he did recording Panic’s platinum debut A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out. The whining and complaining of Such a Handsome Women is vomit-inducing and makes you want to hold a prayer meeting so that this band will get over themselves or call an exorcist. Or both. Finally, the obnoxious Sushi in a Tuxedo in the Clam’s Casino proves that far from improving as a lyricist, guitarist Ryan Ross has descended even further into the pit of idiocy in his never-ending quest to seem “clever.” Note to Mr Ross: You Suck. This album unfortunately does not mark a departure of this band's emo roots. It's as stupid and over-done as ever. No matter though, this album will be consumed like water by numerous teeny-boppers. Pity them, for they are no doubt going to look back on themselves and cringe ten years from now when they think of their former tastes. Pray for them. This will no doubt be the most embarrassing instance of them all.

i was having a nap and had a dream that i was chillin with Bam aswell as the guys at LA ink (including Kat Von D).
i got her to give me a tattoo, and it ended up being disaster. haah.
so then Bam and i decided to go drive around town so i could blow off some steam sp i wasn't so pissed at Kat.
he took me to a drive through bar (<< wtf?!) where he ordered a few beers, and i got a beer but asked the lady at the drive through to pour a 1 1/2 cups of salt in it.
Afterwards i decided that he was impared and should let me drive his lambo.
he told me to stop being a pussy and explained there were no longer laws againts driving impared because everyone had become miserably depressed and unsatisfied with life, thus they were all alcoholics.
we then teleported to an indoor theme park where i found bam had vanished and i was left babysitting 7 preschoolers. they were acting like hooligas. chewing up candy and spitting it up everywhere. ugh.
so as punishment i made them go on a very intimidating ride, but instead of being scared, they were having fun.
i got angry and decided to send them all home on time outs, so the guy i was babysitting with (who happens to be one of the dudes from CSI) handed me the keys to the magic school bus because he had to "clean up the paintball mess."
this made no sense so i just left him be.
everything then turned black and i woke up saying
"someone stole my sweet potato fries!"

if your a dream interpreter and your reading this, please message me.