Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

Let's get this straight - it's called a gravel road. I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

They are pigs, cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Highway No. 2 goes south and No. 1 goes east and west. Pick one.

So you drive a $60,000 car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter-million dollar Combine that we drive three weeks a year.

So every person in a pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

We started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw "Bambi" too. We got over it.

If a cell phone rings when ducks are coming in, we shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

Yeah, we eat beef and pork. You want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

T