Confusion

My mind is a mess
And so is my heart.
I'm in distress,
Not knowing where to start.

Just like a fool
I've fallen in love.
Knowing it's you
Makes it even more tough.

Best friends forever.
That's what we said.
Never, ever, never
Was this to go through my head.

Knowing you can't feel,
the same as I do
Only makes the pain
All the more real.

I'll love you forever.
As friend or as more.
Just promise you'll never
Be less than before.

How Do you say Goodbye?
How do you say goodbye
To the one you love?
Would you cry and cry?
Would you hold a grudge?

How do you say goodbye
To a loved one lost?
Do you try and try
To forget at all costs?

How do you say goodbye
To one you hold dear?
Do you simply say goodbye?
Or do you run in fear?

If you can't say goodbye
The way you wish to say it
Don't hold back, do it now
This very day.

And tell them that you love them.
That you will never forget, about the past
And how you will hold them dear
Until the end of time.

-Heather Hovdestad

(for my grandfather Bruce Hovdestad who passed Feb 21st 2006)

Thanks for the card and for thinking of me. It was much appreciated. has anybody
ever said they love you well im sorry but i cant tell you, o and speaking of i
love you andrews here with H.H. <---the first H stands for hot, the second well
we can all get that one...now about the card i hope u know im taken...by ur
honest and ur memory and lets just say i want to stay ur friend and im sorry for
saying no to you.

Chapter II

i awoke in a daze and my childhood memories my mind. I may have been only 16 at
the time but i knew that jesse knew best. He awoke in a daze and realized that
we were bonded at the sexual organ. Two hours later Daniel came over. Bud was
with him. Speaking of John Lenon, imagine the people, imagine theres no heaven,
imagine there's no hell below us, imagine all the peoople all the war behind
me....(insert crazy piano solo) (pause for laughter)
rofl


Chapter III

ok hello, so who writes in this anywayz. Today I awoke and found a mirror above
my head. lets just say males have two heads...some bigger then others, but in
ankur's case he lost one in vietnam and by vietnam i mean his dog. No not
beasteality, the dog invited him. So then i gathered my thoughts, had a quick
wank, and found my brother indulging in the same solitude. With just a touch of
dragon ball Z and by a touch i mean sexually active. I dont believe u understand
the attrocities found in this bedroom, but i threw up, and people died.
and once again i say
imagine all the people who had to see that
and had to indulge in the listening exercise of reading this, the funny thing is
that ur not ur reading, so there for ur just plain old a dumb ####...thats right
i swore
ya i guess that means this novel is not PG 13, sorry justin Hinkelmen, im not
harry potter, and yes that was me with ur dog...and by dog i mean sexually
attractive sister. And by sister i mean ur a #####, i know ur a girl, cause the
point is imagine there's no hell below us......

Chapter IV

So its me again, typing u this exciting letter, i mean email, its quite the
tantalizing afair. FYI this is volume one chapter IV paragraph 2 Sentence 4
incase u need to cite ur sources. but lets just i woke this morning and i
thought i was late for school but then i remember to put it back in the
fridge....see that's a cunnundrum, i answered a fanciful which was "what did u
think when u woke up" and i answered with a clever pun on the word lait and
late....speaking french i do not makes it even more.

whats a cunnundrum u may ask?
its holding ur best gal
its driving real fast
its drinking cold water
its watching friday night porno
its realizing ur not turning to stone
its realizing that wasnt ur sister...yet
its realizing that u cant actually spell
its finding out u were a mistake
its finding that one "special" condom that fits on two fingers...
its obeying all the rules
its quoting John Lenon
its spinning the fan
....walk this way is what she said


Chapter V

I awoke...no jk i slept in

Chapter VI

ok this time i woke up....lol no i didnt man ur too easy

Chapter VII
abdu

Cut Me Open
Chorus(begining without music)
Slit my wrists
See if i bleed
Stab my heart
See if it stops beating
Cut me open
See how black i am inside
(scream, bang on drumbs, music starts)

Verse

My blood thickens with darkness
My heart hardens to stone
My head is exploding
I'm fucking going insane (scream last part)

Chorus

Verse

Depression's taking over
I'm fading into black
Soon it will be my time
#### you all and #### the world (scream last part)

Chorus

You think that life is easy
You think that life is grand
Well you're all fucking wrong.
Life is full of horrbile tradgities
Full of fucking pain and death
I'm leaving it early
I'm going to my promise land

Chorus

(scream)

Slit my wrists...
Stab my heart...
Cut me open...

Slit my wrists...
Stab my heart...
Cut me open...

See how black i am inside.
(faint scream, music dies)