i seem to have lost my grip in all of this mess
through all of this and all he has learned,
you think he would have changed, and stayed that way.
just goes to show to never, for any reason,
that you should assume that every thing is going to work out.
this is why i always expect the worst,
because then I'm never disappointed.
I'm sick of being the punching bag of the family.
I'm not taking this anymore.
its time that i actually stick up for myself, not like i thought i was before.
unless i see some change in you that i KNOW is going to stay, I'm done with you.
your only making me hate you more as we go on.
you always say that your there for me, but when i need you, you are never there.
you always seem to feel the need to push me to tell you things,
that's why i don't.
back the fuck off and maybe ill take a liking to you again, MAYBE.
so far all you have done is push me farther away and made me wonder why i always missed you.
i want out of this psychological hell.
you and your demon of and offspring make this place hell for me, and you don't even live here.
you've made this house, what used to be a home, you've made it into a prison.
i used to blame myself for this, for not saying some thing to some one before it got out of hand like it did.
but no, you are to blame and no one else.
i don't know why i thought you needed a second chance, i really don't.
you deserve to go to jail, and burn for what you have done.
if your family knew what you have done to me, to this family, you wouldn't survive the verbal, and all attacks.
ill be looking to move out as fast as i possibly can.
I'm sick and fucking tired of putting myself through this.
i may not deserve much for what i have done to others, but i know that i don't deserve this, i have more self worth than that.
you knew,
every thing.
how much i love you.
the way you make me feel.
there's just no words to describe any of this,
and even if there was i don't think i could get the balls to tell you.
i don't even know if i want to tell you..
just
fucking
blow
my
head
off
....
one of the worst days iv had in a while.....
Ok, Here's the deal... Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your __% Virgin.
1. Smoked
2. Drank alcohol
3. Cried when someone died.
4. Been drunk.
5. Had sex.
6. Been to a concert.
7. Given/recieved a handjob.
8. Given/recieved a blowjob.
9. Been verbally harassed
10. Verbally harassed somebody
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or receieved a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done serious drugs.
31. Played strip anything.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Ran away from home.
34. Broken/Sprained a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40. Been in love.
41. Frenched kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Shot a gun.
47. Stabbed yourself.
46. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.
51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57. Dressed preppy.
58. Dressed goth.
59. Dressed punk.
60. Been to a motocross race.
61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.
71. Got caught stealing something.
72. Kicked a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Went out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore.
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
oh dear >.< only 26%
honestly, not all the suprising
Shadow Zone
I come to realize
That I'm home now
But you can see inside me
Shadow Zone
If I can forget just
Leave me alone now
It's time to go out, shut down
;and i would do anything to be the one reason behind your smile
Why, just once, cant it be simple?
I know i know, nothing worth having is easy.
I only ask for this once.
If you had feelings for her before me, then why did we start this?
If you still have feelings for her, then why are we here?
made my vampirefreaks account
MONSTER-CHILD
feel free to add me
