i seem to have lost my grip in all of this mess
through all of this and all he has learned,
you think he would have changed, and stayed that way.
just goes to show to never, for any reason,
that you should assume that every thing is going to work out.
this is why i always expect the worst,
because then I'm never disappointed.
I'm sick of being the punching bag of the family.
I'm not taking this anymore.
its time that i actually stick up for myself, not like i thought i was before.
unless i see some change in you that i KNOW is going to stay, I'm done with you.
your only making me hate you more as we go on.
you always say that your there for me, but when i need you, you are never there.
you always seem to feel the need to push me to tell you things,
that's why i don't.
back the fuck off and maybe ill take a liking to you again, MAYBE.
so far all you have done is push me farther away and made me wonder why i always missed you.
i want out of this psychological hell.
you and your demon of and offspring make this place hell for me, and you don't even live here.
you've made this house, what used to be a home, you've made it into a prison.
i used to blame myself for this, for not saying some thing to some one before it got out of hand like it did.
but no, you are to blame and no one else.
i don't know why i thought you needed a second chance, i really don't.
you deserve to go to jail, and burn for what you have done.
if your family knew what you have done to me, to this family, you wouldn't survive the verbal, and all attacks.
ill be looking to move out as fast as i possibly can.
I'm sick and fucking tired of putting myself through this.
i may not deserve much for what i have done to others, but i know that i don't deserve this, i have more self worth than that.