....After sitting at home all afternoon we decided to go out and get some RJ Umbergers and have some Eric Brewers. One thing led to another and we ended up also having some Jaromir Jagr Bombs. At this point I couldn’t see too Daniel Cleary but I noticed a broad out on the dance floor wearing a real short Guillaume Latendresse. After dancing for awhile she told me she wanted to take me home to her house in Jason Pominville. This chick definitely had more Doug Weight than I did but I’m a sucker for Andrew Brunettes. I had too many Daniel Brieres to realize she was Rico Fata so I went home with her, I mean it happens to the best of us. She was pretty Ben Eager and went for my Evgeni Nabokov right away. She was Chris Osgood at handling my John Pohl and even played with my Joe Sakic. After she was done Ales Kotalik’ing my Mike Johnson I could tell she was gonna Maxime Ouellet me Darcy Tucker. I still wasn’t ready so I decided to Cincinnati Randy Robitaille her first. I tried to Rhett Warrener her that I was close but it was too late. “Don’t Thomas Vanek,” I said, “I’ll be ready to go in 5 minutes.” I decided to Eric Staal and went to her bathroom to take an Alexei Zhitnik. When I came back she was naked and I realized that she didn’t Peter Schaefer since she was pretty Jason Woolley below the belt. There was not a chance I was going Aaron Downey on her so instead I Keith Tkachuk’ed her on the bed. I got her on her Nikolas Backstrom, and Radek Bonk’ed her. I could tell that she really liked it Lindy Ruff. She wanted to have sex Jarome Iginla and I told her “You have to be Olli Jokinen, I’m way too tired, there is no way I can give you any Steve Moore.” This chick was crazy and I wouldn’t have been surprised if she asked me to Glen Murray her, I needed to get Tomas Holmstrom. I waited for her to fall asleep and then I was Sergei Gonchar. It was a god damn Marc-Andre Fleury outside and there was at least 3 inches of Garth Snow. I was Jeff Friesen so I decided to call a Tomas Kaberle. When I woke up the next morning I realized I had a Dan Boyle on my Kyle Wellwood, everytime I took a piss there was a Patrick Sharp pain. Guess I should’ve worn a Tie Domi. Needless to say I never Kyle Calder, you can Billy Guerin that