Dislikes:
This is slowly getting to me; the lack of substance in dislikes sections these days. I know that certain things are a general annoyance but for Christ's sake, I have more faith in my generation than to think that every one of you fuckers happens to hate the exact same things. Hold on kids, I can even list them off for you
-Cheaters
-Players
-Homophobes
-Preachy Christians
-Organized religion
-Girls that think they are 'all that'
-Haters
-Cops
-People who Judge
-Stupid people
-Bush
-Rap music
-Pop music
-Close minded people
-Country music
-Preps
-Emos
-Smoking
-Wanna-be individuals
I understand now that we live fairly nice lives being in a first world country with everything we need but come on people. Let's expand our minds past this small and limp list.
Astrology... fun concept but for the love of god please shut the fuck up about it. It doesn't say too much for you when your opinion of someone actually changes because of their birthday. The planets and stars are fucking rock and gas. On a good day after a good go on the shitter I can make more gas than one of these things and you don't see people's personality changing drastically because I took a good dump, do ya? It is just so fucking annoying to get along great with someone and when they ask your birthday it is like you all of a sudden became some kind of disgusting creep "Oh...your a Gemini.....according to the 5th sun of thorus and the inter-universal swirl of the 12th star of Jordan".I can't be talking to you, we aren't compatible.....well guess what, according to my right testical you can fucking blow me because you are a simple minded prick that actually gives any of this bullshit any kind of validity. "If it can cause the tides it can certainly control a fraction of who we are!"....at best...I might be pulled slightly to the left....or the right....but by no means does this bullshit have any kind of real impact of who you are. There aren't 12 different personality types... there are 2...one that are thick enough to let this shit control their interaction with others and those of us who like to believe that humans are a little more complex than to have some blowjob calendar determine who you are and to clump you into convenient little personality groups.
-Save a horse, Shoot a cowboy
-What the bloody hell is with 16 year old girls and this fucked up obsession about being older than they are and getting into clubs. When I have bigger boobs than your skanky punk ass in the club I start to question what steroids are doing to those village idiots at the door. There is a difference between a younger looking girl and an outright minor. You can tell because the little blond fucker is stumbling around hitting on anything that even looks like a male after consuming her whole half cooler. As it is I think the legal drinking age is too low but these little trash fucks think they are above the common sense rules given to us by the government (yes I recognize that common sense coming out the government seems a bit off but in this case they did something right). Don't pull that weak shit of "well I'm a female and therefore I am mature and can handle the responsibility of a club"....I haven't once met someone who has drunk heavily under the legal age and been able to handle the responsibility. We have that age for a reason, if your little ego fuck brain can't get wrapped around than then we will just have to pull up some lawn chairs and watch your bitch ass get knocked up at 16 and by the time you are 18 we get to hear you bitch about how you don't know how everything went so wrong. Smarten the fuck up, or bring in some kind of physical labour farm system for all teens between 14-18.
-"Forever baby" "We will get married" "We are soul mates".....you want to know why we have this pathetic divorce rate, billboards from law firms in Chicago reading "life is short, get a divorce" and overall disrespect for marriage. This is it, people not using their fucking head when it comes to the reality of relationships. As much as we would like to think, most relationships that make it to the 2 month point don't necessarily mean chapel bells....so please for fucks sake, stop spewing all over your page how you are soul mates and are going to get married...that still holds true if you are 'engaged' after thoes 2 months.
-The fact I still use the term "punk ass"
-Name droppers....you know, that low-grade cunt that will come over and go on and on about some shitty inside joke with "Suzy and john"....knowing right well I don't know the inside humor nor do I know these shits. so what makes you think that I give a shit what your saying...not only do I not give a shit what you are saying but you are making yourself look like a fucking moron and annoying the living fuck out of me in the process. If you are going to talk to someone about another individual especially when knowing them is key to the story.....make sure the fucker you are talking to has some kind of clue who you are talking about.
-Aye, you bastards with the "lyke omg I h8 slo driverz!!11"....fuck right off, just because you were dropped as a child and figure that 160 in a 70 zone is perfectly acceptable doesn't mean the fucker that you pile into causing serious injuries does think its acceptable. How the hell do these bastards get licenses, there is only so far a blowjob gets you in life and last time I checked a license isn't one of them.....I can't wait till some prissy shit in her sunfire drives into my Volvo station wagon. Then basic laws of physics kick in and douche bag has my tailpipe through her thick skull.
-Ok, what is with suicide girls, gods' girls or whatever 'alternative' porn site you wish to look at? Yes, ok you are porn, I could complain about you guys but you are at least a bit classier than the fake boob blond slut getting nailed by 17 middle age Italians in some garage....BUT IT IS STILL PORN!!!! None of this "it is a form of art with hot girls"....its porn, you take off your clothing and a guy takes pictures of you....its porn! Art from the when-the-fuck-back is art...why...because the people aren't not to be seen as much sexual creatures as the art of nudity. Your shit-box alternative porn site isn't art. It's just another group of low grade girls that will mooch like a dog for our discretionary income. Only difference is that they have 'alternative' girls of all shapes and sizes trying on this whole "lyke omg I'm gona b a SG!!11" as if it is any different than the blond shit they made fun of last week for wanting to be a stripper. Actually there is a difference....the stripper makes good cash where as you are just a slut wearing alternative clothing lying to yourself and what your real motivations are. The dog puts on a cute face to get the table scraps; the SG girl gets in a sexual pose for my discretionary income. See the link? Girls and guys in the porn industry are just dogs, no talent, no work, just what was given to you from your genetics and no respect for yourself.
-People complaining about cops, Yes, we can all agree that having a hiring pool of C students doesn't make for the best logic minded po. Just the poor creatures are given a spiffy uniform and a lot of them just aren't bright enough to tell that because you wear a goofy shirt, you aren't god. So not their fault really.
I would like to congratulate Gary Bettman for doing his very best for improving the NHL as we know it. Gary, you have done a marvelous job since you have been Commissioner of the NHL. You have been instrumental in 2 work stoppages, half of the 1994-95 season (468 games), and a complete loss of the 2004-05 season.
Gary, great job in bringing back half empty arenas, and for moving two great Canadian franchises in Quebec City and Winnipeg. Sure, we have a “new” team in Ottawa, but you’re right, Carolina, Nashville and Miami are much better hockey markets. Nothing says “Old Time Hockey” like those blue, silver, and bright yellow jerseys of the Nashville Predators. I can’t wait until Pittsburgh, Edmonton, or Calgary move since we all know Houston, Kansas City and Las Vegas are such hotbeds for hockey!
Thank you Gary for bringing us a schedule where we don’t need to see each team every year. In a place like Vancouver, they have hundreds of fans who would like to see the Leafs, Habs or Bruins play the Canucks every season, but once again, you’re right, playing Calgary, Minnesota and Edmonton 8 times a season is much more entertaining than seeing an original 6 team like New York, Detroit, or Toronto. Who cares if the Stanley Cup Champions play here? Who cares if Ovechkin, Crosby, Malkin or Staal play here every 3 seasons? Gary, you’re right, we don’t need them.
Mr. Bettman, how do you do it? How did you get such a sweet deal on OLN? Yes, having the NHL on a channel Americans have to pay for is much better than ESPN. The numbers don’t lie; OLN’s numbers prove that. ESPN, NBC, CBS, yeah, we don’t need that. We have Pay Per View; how fortunate are we! What ever happened to that Fox Trax puck? I miss that.
Getting back to the schedule, I really like how some games are worth two points and others three. It’s also so exciting to see no battles in front of the net or body contact of any kind. Hockey is such a great game now. I couldn’t stand watching Todd Bertuzzi slamming Chris Chelios or freight training Barret Jackman. Those bodychecks were so violent! We don’t need that in OUR sport. No way! I prefer to see Henrik or Daniel Sedin, able to stand unimpeded in front of the crease so they can tap in a rebound! I’m so happy that fighting is almost gone from the game. Now I have more time to go get some popcorn or a drink instead of wondering if Brian McGratton would fight Wade Brookbank. Wait, the Canucks got rid of Brookbank because he was tough. Also, that fight would only happen every three years.
Gary, I’m thrilled that there are so many Europeans in the game. Having Europeans on the third and fourth line is fascinating. Watching them cycle the puck back and forth behind the net is so exciting. I’m glad to see guys such as PJ Stock, Gino Odjick and Tie Domi gone from the game. They didn’t bring anything to the game that a fourth liner from Europe couldn’t. I really hated to hear those chants of Gino, Gino, Gino we used to hear when he went after Marty McSorley or Tie Domi. Like I mentioned fighting was a despicable part of the game. I now have time to go to the washroom, beating those intermission crowds.
I really enjoy watching five on four, four on three, or five on three games nightly. There’s nothing more entertaining than seeing more goals. I love seeing the stars racking up the points like Gretzky and Lemieux used to. We don’t need those old records that were set before you became commissioner. Players like Gordie Howe, Bobby Hull, Phil Esposito or Bobby Orr aren’t important. They played in that era of fighting and limited power plays. These players had to battle nightly for space on the ice or in front of the net. I’m so glad to see that you don’t have to pay a price to score. What a chore that was. If Gretzky played in today’s game, he may have gotten 400 points, but let’s not get silly now.
And thank you for the two-referee system. Get some more people out there on the ice and call more penalties. Forty minor penalties per game is exciting and really gets the average Joe and Joan heading to the arena. In conclusion Mr.Bettman, I’d just like to say that the game, as you see it, could never be better & I hope you are thrilled with today’s product coming to a rink near you. By the way Gary, have you ever played the game, or even watched it?
Sincerely,
A WHL fan.
Unhappy anniversary
By Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports
January 29, 2007
Everyone has a favorite conspiracy theory about the NBA. Some like the idea that David Stern fixed the 1984 draft lottery. Others favor his supposed secret suspension of a star player for gambling problems.
Mine dates back to the early 1990s, when the NHL was white hot with fans and never better on the ice. Wayne Gretzky was in Los Angeles. Mark Messier was with the New York Rangers, who were on the verge of ending their Stanley Cup drought. Mario Lemieux, Steve Yzerman, Ray Bourque, Patrick Roy and many others were hitting their prime.
Anyone who doesn't think hockey can work in America is forgetting this era. All of a sudden, hockey was challenging, if not beating, the NBA in a number of major U.S. markets – including New York. It's almost impossible to imagine now, but it happened.
As the conspiracy theory goes, Stern sensed the potential trouble in 1993 while the NHL was in search of a new commissioner. So he looked around his own office for someone so incompetent that if they got the job, the NHL would be marginalized by their mismanagement and never again be a threat to the NBA.
Naturally, Stern recommended one of his assistants, Gary Bettman, for the job.
True story or not, it worked.
Bettman is set to begin his 15th year as commissioner Thursday, and like most hockey fans I feel the need to mark the occasion by popping a bottle of champagne, chugging the entire thing in an effort to drown my misery and then smashing the empty bottle over my temple to black out the memories.
There has never been a commissioner of a major North American sports league this inept, yet the league's board of governors keeps employing him, keeps giving him another chance to sink this once-proud, once-vibrant league to new depths.
Bettman is on a 14-year run of bad ideas. His latest was a classic, moving the league's all-star game, which featured attention-grabbing young megastars, to midweek on the Versus Network – as opposed to NBC on a weekend. He claimed it would allow Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin to own the sports landscape, unlike some crowded weekend.
The result was a catastrophic 0.7 rating. That's a meager 474,298 households in the States that bothered to watch, down 76 percent from the last all-star game.
It is par for a season which has seen TV numbers plummet in both the U.S. and Canada (down 20 percent by some reports), attendance drop and media coverage dwindle.
Hockey fans would laugh if we weren't crying. We'd figure it would be the last straw that would lead to his dismissal, but at this stage, we know he's never going away. For those of us who grew up loving and living this sport and this league, all of us who cared about the NHL long before Bettman's slow, steady suicidal stewardship of it, it's just the latest in a recurring nightmare.
The Bettman era has been an unmitigated disaster for the league in virtually every possible way, one outrageously terrible initiative after another.
I could write a book about Bettman's insulting and imbecilic moves through the years (Chapter 9: "The Glowing Puck") but the main problem has always been the same. He has shown no respect for the game, for its history, for its fans, for its unique qualities.
Bettman might consider himself an astute sports marketer, but in practice he is arguably the worst of all time. He has never figured out how to change his marketing plans to fit the product of hockey. Instead, he changed the product to fit his marketing plans.
The league is now overexpanded and overpriced, misplaced and misdirected. It is less exciting, less interesting, less traditional and more difficult to follow for the non-obsessive fan.
Yes, hockey fans remain. I'm one of them. But even we can't believe what has happened here. It is bad enough a desperate, ill-advised grab of supposed "new, emerging markets" have come at the expense of the old fan base. It's dispiriting that the league chased the fickle corporate dollar and priced out families. But what's worse is it just keeps going and going, Bettman on the job for life.
Under Bettman's watch, the NHL's improvements are few. Certainly new technologies such as the "Center Ice" package and the Internet have been great. And there are far more highly skilled players than in 1993, thanks to the influx of talent from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union.
Of course, Bettman had nothing to do with these things occurring.
The elimination of the red line and the crackdown on obstruction are positives. Some will argue that shootouts to decide regular-season games and the severe curbing of fighting are positives, but that's a matter of personal preference.
While some hail the salary cap that allows across-the-board competitiveness, I think it suppresses the kind of elite play that makes the game great. Hockey is the ultimate team pursuit – the need for timing and teamwork is paramount. The individual star is utterly worthless without strong teammates.
The great player needs other great players to be great. In the mid-1980s, Gretzky needed Messier, Paul Coffey, Glenn Anderson, Jari Kurri and others to maximize his abilities and thrill fans. A salary cap prevents talent from flocking together like that, so we get economic viability of the Atlanta Thrashers in exchange for breathtaking teams such as the Edmonton Oilers of 1980s or the Detroit Red Wings of the late 1990s.
The negatives are too numerous to list, but consider the league's current uneven schedule which serves no purpose other than cutting travel costs for a few cheapskate owners. Teams play eight games per season against division foes, or 32 a year against just four teams.
Bettman claimed it would spawn "new" rivalries. Of course, old rivalries such as Detroit-Toronto – two hockey-mad towns separated by a single highway that actually has an exit for Wayne Gretzky Blvd. – no longer play a home-and-home series each season. It's like killing Red Sox-Yankees so Blue Jays-Diamondbacks might catch on.
And, since fighting has been curbed, the "new" rivalries haven't really taken because a hockey rivalry without fighting is like non-alcoholic beer.
Plus, not everyone gets to see young superstars such as Pittsburgh's Crosby or Washington's Ovechkin.
Last week, 22 franchises tried to bring the old schedule back, but eight blocked the move in a vote while Bettman, predictably, did little lobbying on behalf of the majority opinion.
This is Bettman's NHL. Fourteen years, four bankruptcies, three franchise moves, two lockouts, one lost season and no effective leadership. The business is so sick that the Pittsburgh Penguins, despite a loyal fan base and the most promising talent since Gretzky, are 50-50 to move to that noted hockey hotbed of Kansas City.
Bettman has his apologists who point out that he beat former NHLPA head Bob Goodenow during the last lockout and got a salary cap installed.
Which is true, except it cost the NHL an entire season and an incalculable number of fans. And the proposed cap for next season is already creeping close to the average pre-lockout team salary. Wasn't the new deal only needed because the old deal was so bad? And who negotiated that one for the NHL in 1994? Oh yes, Gary Bettman, who locked the players out and killed all momentum from the Rangers' Stanley Cup championship to get that ill-fated deal done.
Lord knows what is next. Lord knows how he can make it worse. Lord knows what prior screwups he'll try to solve now with fresh screwups.
You'd think a 0.7 was rock bottom, but then again, this is someone who surveyed the burning wreckage of the NHL and decided that what would really turn things around this time were sleek new uniforms from Reebok, which were trotted out last week.
"This is an evolution of our uniform," Bettman proudly crowed.
Of course, already fans who are carrying even a few extra pounds report that they look ridiculous in the new form fitting jerseys, which has led to predictions of plummeting apparel sales and jokes about how Bettman hatched the idea after watching George Costanza comically change the New York Yankees' uniforms to cotton.
"This is a Seinfeld episode, isn't it?" wrote one fan on the San Jose Mercury News' hockey blog.
Yes, David Stern's bizarro world, now entering its 15th year and counting.
Anaheim Has Gone From Warm and Fuzzy to Fiery and Nasty
The Anaheim Ducks used to have an animated Tinkerbell that fluttered across the scoreboard and sprinkled pixie dust onto pictures of players’ heads.
Tinkerbell cannot possibly recognize her team anymore. The Ducks have essentially traded pixie dust on the head for punches to the face.
“We fight,” Anaheim General Manager Brian Burke said. “It’s what we do. We put a premium on it.”
...snip…
Sitting in their dressing room, the Ducks are as likely to be talking about right hooks as wrist shots. They monitor the Web site hockeyfights.com, which features penalty statistics that the N.H.L. does not always publish. Parros and Thornton take boxing lessons in the summer to hone their craft.
The buzzword in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
------------ --------
You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie,brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
------------ --------- ----
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
------------ --------- ---
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.
------------ --------- ----
You¹re at a party and this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your ass.
That's the Governor of California .
You like it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended.
That's America.
1. DO YOU LIKE ANYONE?
Yes... Devin Townsend....his bald spot and messed up teeth bring me much internal joy.... welcome to A&W..... oh please take my order baby!
As well Bert....fuck big bird and the rest of thoes bastards...... we all know they are on crack and involve themselfs in far too many circle jerks..... but my buddy Bert is where it is at
2. ARE YOU FLIRTY?
LOOK AT THE KITTY *dances around like a drunk penguin*
In responce to the question.... I have no bloody clue... even if i wanted to i don't think i could properly flirt. It would turn out just as bad Ray sweater..... for thoes of you who don't get that.... you don't want to get it.... it makes the babies cry
3. ARE YOU A PLAYER?
ROFL XBOX GAMERZ 4 LYFE BICHEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111
I got called one in grade 10 after i accedentaly *wink* started dateing my exes mortal childhood enemy..... hey hey.... she broke up with me thus i be not at fault here people.....
Q- What did you do during the summer?
A- Who fucking cares, staci got screwed on a picknick table!!!!
4. HAVE YOU EVER KISSED ANYONE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
wow wow wow....you are implying that i have a memory past that of a gold fish, that just isn't cool
to answer your question........ comunal liquid paper...... and the number 4.... and perogies....
5. DO YOU WANT A VALENTINE?
Aye mate, me and the ductape music machine be having this romantic day too ourselfs but if this is question from the microwave....your time will come....march 14th.... steak and blowjob day.....we will make passionate beef products and share herpies
6. HAVE YOU SLEPT OVER AT THE OPPOSITE SEX'S HOUSE?
Oh but the real question is...have you slept over at the same sex's house....
Joe....or as you called yourself Eoj "Howlay shit if i look through the bottle my name is backwards!!!".....we share some inamate moments.... but stop calling...it was purely sexual....
7. DINNER AND A MOVIE, OR A WALK IN THE PARK?
Lets not be too chiche there question maker person (for some reason this questionare stinks of 12 year old girl but we will move on)
how about a massive KY jelly wrestling match with 13 large truckers followed by all the chicken strips one can eat.....abit more romantic I be thinking.... i know you be thinking the same....
8. SMALL KISSES OR MAKE-OUT SESSIONS?
what about a small kiss session or even a session or attaching your nipples to a car battery and playing pictionary..... sheesh, do i have to think of everything?
9. DO YOU LIKE CUDDLING UP AND WATCHING MOVIES?
Actually the nipples thing....yeah.... do that while watching Borat.... brings that movie to life..... hell it even makes your run of the mill chick flick moderately interesting if you shock yourself everytime something really expected happens (ok...so you are frying your brains out for 2 hours with that example but really...get on it.... its good shit)....then... after you are done.... cuddle....if you get enough volts in ya then you smell life fresh bacon..... neat little FYI for ya there....
10. ANY PLANS FOR VALENTINES DAY?
wrap rubber bands around my face till i turn a neat shade of blue....
what....you know you do it......don't even play that "man you are so fucked up" card.....
i have cameras.....i know you do it.... just come out already
11. WHAT'S THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY PRESENT FOR A GIRL?
not being a cliche douchebag and getting flowers and chocolates for a girl....
what will really get her going
-Car battery
-Hook up cables
-Chicken strips
-Resisting the temptation to dutch oven her every time you fart and you are undercovers
12. DOES YOUR CRUSH HAVE A VALENTINE?
*slowly looks over at bass guitar*
You better not bitch or im playing slap on you tonight.....and there will be no rub down after....you hear me.....
but seriously..... drive safe....
13. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?
Castrated.....for your enjoyment
Last of a dying breed
By Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports
September 19, 2006
You can't be a professional athlete without some physical gift from God, and best I can tell, Tie Domi's gift was possession of the thickest skull on earth.
I don't mean figuratively, as in Domi was stupid. I mean literally. There is no medical proof of this, but seriously, what a block of granite Domi had working as a forehead, a boulder of a bean that allowed him to slug it out with every goon the NHL could throw at him for nearly two decades.
The last of a dying breed – hockius goonus – retired Tuesday after 16 seasons, 3,515 penalty minutes and nearly 400 NHL fist fights, ushering out the end of an era that, despite my better and more mature instincts, I will greatly miss.
Domi wasn't the greatest fighter of all time – he didn't even rank in The Hockey News' top 12 (Bob Probert, No. 1) – but at just 5-foot-10, he was a fearless, ferocious maniac on ice.
He had the ultimate love-hate relationship with fans. They once voted him their league-wide favorite player, but one of them also jumped the glass and fought him as he sat in the penalty box, aka his home away from home.
But that was Domi and that was what, for decades, the NHL was built on. These showmen, these tough guys, gave bloodthirsty fans plenty of violence, mayhem and white hat/black hat escapades right out of Vince McMahon's play book.
It's all gone now. Gary Bettman has cleaned up the league and you can debate amongst yourselves whether that is a good or bad thing. The mature adult understands. But the kid who used to watch hockey every single night back in the 1980s – and then rush to school the next day to discuss the fights as much as the goals – misses it.
Domi bridged the gap between the violent legends of the 80s and the modern guys, who just don't brawl on a nightly basis like they used too.
There isn't a place in the NHL for someone like Domi anymore. A lightly skilled Ontario native, he knew his only chance at the NHL was as an enforcer and he wasn't going to apologize for it. In his first two career games, he racked up an impressive 42 penalty minutes.
While he wasn't as big as guys such as Probert – a 6-foot-3, 223-pound brute – Domi had that brick forehead.
The guy would gladly take three punches just to land one. He would just stand there getting whacked on top of his head just biding time until an opening allowed him to unleash a haymaker.
He was the master of spinning guys off balance with his low center of gravity, pulling their sweater over their head and then pounding them through the ice.
He was an instant sensation. Just about every week, Don Cherry, the old-school analyst, would laud him on "Hockey Night in Canada." Domi's trademark whirl of the fingers after a big brawl would send the crowd into hysterics. He once cut Probert with a vicious punch, unofficially winning the fight, and then skated off while gesturing that he now wore the heavyweight championship belt.
It was great theatre.
And it went down almost every game in the old NHL. Every team had a goon or two, guys who would get on the ice to either intimidate a skill player or just square off with the other team's muscle. Two fighters on the ice at the same time would cause excitement that rippled through arenas and prompted television viewers to sit up and watch.
The names are legendary and colorful, often with menacing nicknames. Tiger Williams, the all-time penalty leader, Tony Twist, Marty McSorley, Clark Gillies, Chris "Knuckles" Nilan, Dave (Cement Head) Semenko, Larry Playfair (who rarely did), Basil McRae, Mike Vukota, Jay (the Killer) Miller, Shane Churla, Dave Brown, Willie Plett, Behn Wilson, Craig Berube, Rob Ray, and on and on.
Domi was one of them, maybe the last of them.
Last season, the Detroit Red Wings had a total of six fights. The entire team. The entire season. Six!
On a good night back in the day, Probert and Joey Kocur used to combine for six in a single Red Wings game. This was back when the NHL had one of my favorite rules – three fights and you are ejected.
Not one – totally acceptable. Not two – probably stretching it, but circumstance could merit that in two unrelated incidents a player might need to try to beat the hell out of someone during the course of a game.
But three? Well, now, you miscreant, now you've crossed the line.
Of course, for plenty of guys, the three-fights-a-night-club wasn't enough.
Consider Dave "The Hammer" Schultz, a legendary Broad Street Bully who in 1974-75 racked up a never-to-be broken NHL-record of 472 penalty minutes, which means he spent about one-tenth of the season in the box.
Or Churla, who averaged 4.72 penalty minutes per game (nearly one five-minute major) over his 10-year career before retiring due to – surprise, surprise – "facial injuries."
Or how about 1997-98, when Domi broke the Maple Leafs' all-time record by earning 365 penalty minutes, surpassing his boyhood hero, the immortal Tiger Williams. It was enough to nearly cause the brawler to bawl.
No, it wasn't all good – Domi's 2001 elbow on Scott Niedermayer, knocking the then-New Jersey Devils defenseman unconscious, was inexcusable – but for the most part, these guys were a rowdy, rollicking part of a glorious and more popular era of hockey. They mostly policed the game, settling wrongs like Old West gunslingers.
Such as the time Domi cold-cocked noted cheap shot artist Ulf Samuelsson, a one-punch, sucker-punch knockout that delighted just about everyone because, while it was a dirty stunt, it couldn't have been delivered to a better guy.
So pleased was the announcer on "Hockey Night in Canada," he actually counted Samuelsson out. And when they brought out the stretcher, he lectured a still unconscious Swede that "if you live by the sword you die by it."
They don't do hockey like that anymore. And I know I am supposed to be better than this, but I wish they would.
Despite what Limp Bizkit says, most of us on nexopia are Generation Y or the ‘Net Generation’. We have had a different kind of media, a different culture and a different way of dating. A lot of the changes can be seen in the way that Y Gen teens go about dating. My 3 major points have been alive all through history but it seems through the support of media (yea, I blame media a bit, make all the teen angst jokes you need) there is 3 ways in which the way that teen dating is conducted today that will not do much for the future divorce rates and spousal abuse. Those 3 main flaws are both in males and females. They are as follows:
Materialism
This is probably the one that most people will deny. Not looking to what your partner owns or perspective partner. It seems that we are more materialistic than ever before. If you look at our parents and what they were like when they were our age. Sure there was envy when someone got better…..I dunno….books….whatever our parents did back in the day, but there wasn’t the obsession with new technology and who could afford it and when. How this affects teen dating as we all know is mainly with females (I’m sorry I got to start by picking on them) but there is a large population of girls that will look to a males home situation, job, and possessions when it comes to that extra bit of interest. This doesn’t have to do only with what someone has, but what they don’t have. Ask yourself, would you see yourself still having interest in a person if you knew they were below the poverty line, family was barely able to afford the basics? Most of you would say yes in a heartbeat but wouldn’t be able to follow up those in real life
What usually happens?
Looking at a few real life instances where a girl would date a guy primarily for a car. When that car breaks down and the guy is taking transit till he can afford to fix it. Fights come out of no where, interest wanders. A ending to a fake relationship.
Ageism
This is the one that you can see easily. Especially Jr. High and High school girls (once again, sorry, I am picking on you again, just wait till I get to self image, I can take male shots there). We have all heard it before “I don’t date younger guys because they are more immature”. The reality is that older guys just know how to charm better. When you are looking at a 3 year age difference and you aren’t even legal, chances are sex is one of the main reasons why he is so interested. I expect to be offending some of you with this and to get fired back the “Me and my boyfriend are 7 years different and we are happily dating for a year”. Yes it sometimes does work but 90% of the time….they want sex. Younger guys want sex too but the only difference is the older ones have the life skills that know how to charm you and play you like a puppet. To use age as a yard stick for who you date not only fails to be a good reason but also shows that in fact you yourself is immature and dependant on others for self image (see next point)
What usually happens?
Well it either works or it doesn’t, chances are the girl will feel all great about herself thinking some really old guy is head over heals for her. So the relationship doesn’t get fucked up she gives into pressure to be physical. This can lead to fun stuff like teen pregnancy where the guy runs off due to the fact he has no respect for the girl what’s so ever. Don’t be surprised when your boyfriend just randomly ditches you for another girl. All you were was a vagina and a tolerable face, found a better face and a different vagina, no need for you now. Thus, a ending to a fake relationship.
Self Image
This goes both ways, for guys and girls. The obsession with the appearance of your girlfriend or boyfriend. “Arm candy” is often referred to just pretty faces that you are dating. Even going farther than face and general body appearance. In some rare cases it even gets to the point where someone will date another for something like the size of her breasts or the size of his 3rd leg. Once again you can blame media but more directly a cause of this can be social groups. The guy friends saying she is ugly or female friends pointing out little flaws when they don’t know the persons personality. It is cliché but in the end it is what is on the inside you are dating and possibly spend the rest of your life with.
What usually happens?
This one is easy. It will not be as happy as it could if you were to date them for who they are. Bodies deteriorate and people change physically. So either a) he/she will ditch you for something better looking or b) you will live life together with wandering eyes while your partner feels the affects of aging and is no longer that sexy person you first dated.
There is many arguments for each of these like:
“you have to be physically attracted to your partner”
Yes you do but your mindset has a lot to do with it. If you are picking apart their flaws instead embracing what they bring then you aren’t being fair.
“you need someone who will support you financially”
That is what encouragement is for, encourage them to get back into school or get a better job, worry about yourself and how you can contribute money in a long-term relationship
“girl and a guy the same age are at different maturity rates”
Read my other rant article on ageism (and blow me you dumbass)
Yea, I know there are probably grammar and spelling mistakes, I didn’t take time to do the proof reading I should.
We have all heard it, “I don’t date younger guys because they are too immature”. Then you go and ask a girl what is maturity and they merely come up with examples of things that embarrass them in public. For those that have been forced to read Stephen R. Coveys book “The 7 habits of highly effective people” you might know what I am talking about. The concept that maturity is going from dependence to independence to interdependence. Now look how something like this affects the teen word.
Boy- Interdependent with friends in everything from friend groups, sports teams ect.
Girl- Take pride in being independent, often separate themselves from friends over pathetic things (Come on, we have all heard the song independent woman)
Boy- Independent in the way he acts in the mall that embarrasses you.
Girl- Dependant on the clothing in the mall for approval from others.
Boy- Much more independent emotionally when it comes to basic things like breakups (just move on)
Girls- Dependant on everything with a shoulder to cry on
I could go on but why waist your time with more senseless nonsense, you either agree with me or no. As far as the physical maturity of the male and the female. Yes, girls do hit puberty earlier than guys and yes, they need to so they can start being fertile earlier. Any male can lay the seed, we need a fertile girl who has the egg.
I am not bitching out couples who are out of the dependant world of high school and living with their parents. If you are 24 and your boyfriend is 29, you guys are both independent creatures, even becoming interdependent financially and emotionally. But just reading quotes from 14-17 year old girls “I won’t date any younger because I can’t stand immature little boys” makes you think. In a relationship of a person 15 and say 24. What are the chances that there is no alternative motive? What are the chances that he is using her for sex and she is using him for self assurance and arm candy? I am sure there are a couple healthy relationships that belong I a pedo case but I don’ think MJ has a nexopia account. Personally I have done just over 2 years older and younger. Both relationships fizzled due to the stage in life we were in and later died.
A Investigative Report
Toilet paper is a tissue paper product designed for the cleaning of the anus after defecation or the genitals after urination.
Recently i have been concerned over the use, quality and politics of toilet paper. Before the invention of toilet paper people would often use wool, lace or hemp for their cleaning needs. Thanks to a man by the name of Joseph Cayetty the invention of toilet paper was mass produced. Even more importantly in 1942 in St. Andrew's Paper Mill in England the wonder of 2-ply toilet paper was given life. Annother important date to mention is one year later when the first novelty toilet paper was used. This toilet paper featured images of Hitler.
My main concern and reason for writing this article is: if in 1942 2-ply toilet paper was invented then why the flying fuck is 1-ply used today. There is no point to using that useless crap! Company's all around the world are still using this horrible, thin and frankly uncomfortable product in their bathroom stall for paying customers to have to bunch up in their hands for the fear of having brown residue on there hands. Sure it saves you money by the role but people end up using 2 times as much anyways. Most schools (post secondary included) are the famous abusers of this. High schools are probably the only ones that deserve to have this horrible fate because after all, half of the toilet paper in high schools isn't used for hygienic reasons. In the end i have no real solution for the problem except for being ignorant assholes and harrasing the management of the educational facility, restaurant or business that you are shitting at.
Another cause for concern is the installation of toilet paper. During my research i came across a site that explained the different ways of installing toilet paper (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper)
Installation
There are two common methods of installing toilet paper on the toilet paper roll. Often a matter of stern debate, and a contentious problem in households with opposing viewpoints, the variances are mainly that of personal preference. The first method of installation has the edge of the roll facing away from the wall and commonly facing the toilet. This method allows the defecator easy access to grab the toilet paper and pull off the desired amount of paper, as the roll spins toward the user.
The second method of installation has the edge of the roll facing the wall and commonly facing away from the toilet. This method is a bit more difficult for the defecator to grab the toilet paper. As the roll spins it spins away from the user. A perceived advantage to this method, that some feel outweighs the inconvenience of the inaccessible edge, is that a household with toddlers is less likely to have toilet paper spun off the roll. This is because a toddler is most likely to spin the roll toward them. In the case of this installation, as the roll spins toward the toddler, the paper remains wound on the roll.
I hope you have enjoyed my seemingly pointless article on something we all take for granted because if it wasn't for toilet paper we would all be using the sears catalog.
