Despite what Limp Bizkit says, most of us on nexopia are Generation Y or the ‘Net Generation’. We have had a different kind of media, a different culture and a different way of dating. A lot of the changes can be seen in the way that Y Gen teens go about dating. My 3 major points have been alive all through history but it seems through the support of media (yea, I blame media a bit, make all the teen angst jokes you need) there is 3 ways in which the way that teen dating is conducted today that will not do much for the future divorce rates and spousal abuse. Those 3 main flaws are both in males and females. They are as follows:
This is probably the one that most people will deny. Not looking to what your partner owns or perspective partner. It seems that we are more materialistic than ever before. If you look at our parents and what they were like when they were our age. Sure there was envy when someone got better…..I dunno….books….whatever our parents did back in the day, but there wasn’t the obsession with new technology and who could afford it and when. How this affects teen dating as we all know is mainly with females (I’m sorry I got to start by picking on them) but there is a large population of girls that will look to a males home situation, job, and possessions when it comes to that extra bit of interest. This doesn’t have to do only with what someone has, but what they don’t have. Ask yourself, would you see yourself still having interest in a person if you knew they were below the poverty line, family was barely able to afford the basics? Most of you would say yes in a heartbeat but wouldn’t be able to follow up those in real life
What usually happens?
Looking at a few real life instances where a girl would date a guy primarily for a car. When that car breaks down and the guy is taking transit till he can afford to fix it. Fights come out of no where, interest wanders. A ending to a fake relationship.
This is the one that you can see easily. Especially Jr. High and High school girls (once again, sorry, I am picking on you again, just wait till I get to self image, I can take male shots there). We have all heard it before “I don’t date younger guys because they are more immature”. The reality is that older guys just know how to charm better. When you are looking at a 3 year age difference and you aren’t even legal, chances are sex is one of the main reasons why he is so interested. I expect to be offending some of you with this and to get fired back the “Me and my boyfriend are 7 years different and we are happily dating for a year”. Yes it sometimes does work but 90% of the time….they want sex. Younger guys want sex too but the only difference is the older ones have the life skills that know how to charm you and play you like a puppet. To use age as a yard stick for who you date not only fails to be a good reason but also shows that in fact you yourself is immature and dependant on others for self image (see next point)
What usually happens?
Well it either works or it doesn’t, chances are the girl will feel all great about herself thinking some really old guy is head over heals for her. So the relationship doesn’t get fucked up she gives into pressure to be physical. This can lead to fun stuff like teen pregnancy where the guy runs off due to the fact he has no respect for the girl what’s so ever. Don’t be surprised when your boyfriend just randomly ditches you for another girl. All you were was a vagina and a tolerable face, found a better face and a different vagina, no need for you now. Thus, a ending to a fake relationship.
This goes both ways, for guys and girls. The obsession with the appearance of your girlfriend or boyfriend. “Arm candy” is often referred to just pretty faces that you are dating. Even going farther than face and general body appearance. In some rare cases it even gets to the point where someone will date another for something like the size of her breasts or the size of his 3rd leg. Once again you can blame media but more directly a cause of this can be social groups. The guy friends saying she is ugly or female friends pointing out little flaws when they don’t know the persons personality. It is cliché but in the end it is what is on the inside you are dating and possibly spend the rest of your life with.
What usually happens?
This one is easy. It will not be as happy as it could if you were to date them for who they are. Bodies deteriorate and people change physically. So either a) he/she will ditch you for something better looking or b) you will live life together with wandering eyes while your partner feels the affects of aging and is no longer that sexy person you first dated.
There is many arguments for each of these like:
“you have to be physically attracted to your partner”
Yes you do but your mindset has a lot to do with it. If you are picking apart their flaws instead embracing what they bring then you aren’t being fair.
“you need someone who will support you financially”
That is what encouragement is for, encourage them to get back into school or get a better job, worry about yourself and how you can contribute money in a long-term relationship
“girl and a guy the same age are at different maturity rates”
Read my other rant article on ageism (and blow me you dumbass)
Yea, I know there are probably grammar and spelling mistakes, I didn’t take time to do the proof reading I should.