so, is this really how life is?
cause i cant bear to see my friends all torn up.
fucken guys (not all, just specific ones) can go to hell.. they need to learn to grow up and not just use people.
as for immature lies and rumors, well, i was hoping that was left behind in highschool, but since some people thrive off drama... here were are again with the bullshit.
and as for my problems.. i wish you turned out to be the guy i had hoped for, but you're not, so i guess thats the end of that. one night, one experience, one thing i should regret, but i dont.
so, life, what the hell can you throw at me now?! cause im just waiting to get further knocked on my ass.. so bring it, im not scared. i can deal with anything you throw at me, cause ive got my girls, and thats all i need.

so, im no longer unemployed.
I am now working at..
brace yourselves...
Ardenes
hahahaha.
so not me, right?
oh well, it pays.
and money keeps my car running lol.


++++
so stoked for saturday sunday!
Lauer fucking party for thanksgiving.
helllllllssss yea!
time to get crunk with my fammmm! xD
ohhh yes, life is good at the moment

needing a new job.
something that pays better than 9.50/h, and isnt a bitch to work at
and no, not prostitution haha.
any ideas?

i wish you didn't have to be this way.
you hurt me, and have made me so fucken angry
but the truth is i liked being in your arms that night.
just wish you werent such a fucken asshole.
maybe one day you'll learn to be mature
and you'll learn that sex isnt the most important thing.
maybe one day you'll fall in love, lay yourself out on the line for someone
and get hurt too.
or maybe.. just maybe.. you'll fall in love, and finally realize that that night... and every night leading up to your realization.. you were a dick.
end of story.

edit: you aren't worth my time anymore, but you could of been.

today was awesome!
went into work and my manager told me to go home cause im sick.
which i felt alot better today, but i said sure, why not lol
so i had the day off!
so i headed up to Porcupine lake with my two brothers,
met up with my mom and wilf
and booted around on the dirtbikes
ive never rode a dirtbike before, only quads, so it was interesting
haha, but i got the hang of it and pretty soon i was kickin it into 5th and takin off!
it was amazing. i love the feeling of just givin 'er on the dirt roads.
then i shot a rifle for the first time in like, 10 years lol
it was an incredible day

So effing glad that MAP transitions are done.
Now that I have time to think, though, ive realized.. im lonely
ive been single now for 2 months, and totally over the past..
i thought i was fine on my own, which i am.. but at times i cant help but want a boyfriend. The timing might not be perfect cause i have alot going on this next month.. but i'd still like to have a loved one to snuggle with at night
*sighs* oh how fun teenage years are

i want love
where the hell is my future boyfriend?!
lol geez... slow enough
been waiting too long...

bahhhhhh,
Manda doesnt have a date for Ryan's birthday
pfft, whos a loooooser
i am!
lol