People had been working for so many years to make the world a safe, organized place. Nobody realized how boring it would become. With the whole world property-lined and speed-limited and zoned and taxed and regulated, with everyone tested and registered and addressed and recorded. Nobody had left much room for adventure, except maybe the kind you could buy. On a roller coaster. At a movie. Still, it would always be that kind of faux excitement. You know the dinosaurs aren't going to eat the kids. The test audiences have outvoted any chance of even a major faux disaster. And because there's no possiblity of real disaster, real risk, we're left with no chance for real salvation. Real elation. Real excitement. Joy. Discovery, Invention.
The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better.

The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.
If you can change the way people think, the way they see themselves. The way they see the world. If you do that, you can change the way people live their lives. And that's the only lasting thing you can create.

From Chuck Palahniuk's "Choke"



We're so trapped in our culture, in the being of being human on this planet with the brains we have, and the same two arms and two legs everybody has. We're so trapped that any way we could imagine to escape would be just another part of the trap. Anything we want, we're trained to want.

From Chuck Palahniuk's "Invisible Monsters"










Turn Soonest Over The Sea - Portest the Hero
(excerpt)

When you've bled on the bed
and you're fed those expectations,
as a whore, not a human,
you imbrace with hesitations,
the very parameters of all you can be,
not a mother, not an aunt, not a sister,
that's not subdued, because dignity is not physical,
and your flesh means more than you.


(very cool song)


Admit it!
Despite your pseudo-bohemian appearance
And vaguely leftist doctrine of beliefs
You know nothing about art or sex
That you couldn’t read in any trendy New York underground fashion magazine
Prototypical non-conformist
You are a vacuous soldier of the thrift store Gestapo
You adhere to a set of standards and tastes
That appear to be determined by an unseen panel of hipster judges (bullshit)
Giving a thumbs up or thumbs down to incoming and outgoing trends and styles of music and art
Go analog baby, you’re so post-modern
You’re diving face forward into a antiquated path
It’s disgusting, its offensive, don’t stick your nose up at me

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah

You spend your time sitting in circles with your friends
Pontificating to each other
Forever competing for that one moment of self-aggrandizing glory
In which you hog the intellectual spotlight
Holding dominion over the entire shallow pointless conversation
Oh, we’re not worthy
When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people
You chuckle to yourself patting yourself on the back as you scoff
It's the same superiority complex
Shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell
And makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma
You spend every moment of your waking life bitching about

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
And I say yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah

Cause I’m proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I’ve become
You’re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar

Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I’ve become
You’re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar, yeah

Well let me tell you this, I am shamelessly self-involved
I spend hours in front of the mirror, making my hair elegantly disheveled
I worry about how this album will sell
Because I believe it will determine the amount of sex I will have in the future
I self medicate with drugs and alcohol to treat my extreme social anxiety

You are a faker (admit it)
You are a fraud (admit it)
Yeah, you’re living a lie (hey) living a lie (hey) you’re life is living a lie
You don’t impress me (admit it)
You don’t intimidate me (admit it)
Why don’t you bow down, get on the ground, walk this fucking plank (yeah!)

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
And I say yeah (what do you..)

Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I’ve become
You’re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my..
Guitar, guitar go!

I drift drift drift drift drift yeah
I drift drift drift drift drift yeah oh

And I am done with this
I wanna taste the breeze of every great city
My car and my guitar
My car and my guitar
So you'll come to be, made of these, urgent unfulfilled
Oh no no no no no
When I'm dead I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest way still
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest, I'll rest



Say Anything ~ most amazing band ever







Me according to a test.

"Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.











A Glimpse Of Time

Have you ever seen a movie,
Where they show time slowing down,
Often a clock ticking very slowly,
Each second longer than the next.

Have you ever felt that,
That feeling of time,
Sliding by so slow,
You see everything so clearly.

Each click of the clock,
Like a bolt of lightning,
The boom of an explosion,
Counting down.

Each second passes,
Like your own little eternity,
Over and over again,
Never ending.

You can end it,
Succumb to the temptation,
Let loose and be free,
But would she agree?

Even if you end it,
And all goes well,
It’s a bittersweet victory,
You’ve still succumbed to temptation.

You cannot win,
You cannot wait,
It’s unbearable,
Yet here you sit.

Staring, wondering,
Hoping, yearning,
Dreaming, doubting,
Sorrow, joy.

Nothing makes sense,
But you don’t care,
All that matters,
Is her.

What is she thinking,
What is she doing,
Does she feel this way too,
Or are you the only one.

Only one stupid enough,
Only one weak enough,
Only one… alone,
What’s new?

You try to pass another eternity,
What’s on TV,
Nothing, as usual,
Nothing… nothingness.

Your world,
Empty, dark,
Empty of sunlight,
There is a ray of hope.

But it’s hiding,
You know where it is,
Yet it does not want to be found,
Not by you.

The clock is still ticking,
Tocking, rocking to and fro,
Tocking isn’t a word,
That’s a shame.

You feel unjustified,
You’re just paranoid,
But here you sit,
Afraid to call.

Call her,
Just do it,
She wont mind,
I don’t think so.

Obviously I didn’t think,
At least not enough,
And now here I sit,
Again.

Eternity after eternity,
Someday I’ll learn,
Years of wrong,
Becomes right.

With that right,
I will no longer be alone,
And it will be all the better,
Since all I’ve known is alone.

Have I?
Some would disagree,
But it still feels alone,
Alone doesn’t mean lonely.

My grandmother would say,
So I guess I was wrong,
I’m not alone,
I’m lonely.

By: Me














Austins the name
being cool is the game







One centurys philosiphy is the next centurys common sense.

"you have the rest of your life
to be old...
so lets be sixteen tonight"
-George Logan

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Procrastination

... I'll finish the rest of this later.