Well I can certainly say that life has changed so much since I was this person on nex all the time meeting people that could potently kill and rape me. I'm super blessed that never happened to me. But anyway Life is finally amazing and I could never ask for anything better than what I have now. No more brokenness, no more depression, no more looking for love in all the wrong places. I live for Love and I will never go back to the life I had. Living freely and carefree is the best thing. Most of all being content and embracing who I am and not being ashamed of myself. Its been a rough journey but that's what it's all about.... The Journey, not the destination. But my fellow friends Becky of the brokenness is no more. My old self has been crucified with Christ and it is no long I who lives but Christ lives in me.

all i can say is wow
so just because i don't want a long distance relationship with you
and because i don't care for sexual shit
you don;t want anything to do with me
thats fucking bull shit
i've never seen someone give up so easily
shows me you were only wanting me for the fucking sex
here we go again
yet another player wewhoo!!!
go fucking players i just wanted to be friends but you want a fucking relationship with me thats all about fucking sexual shit
yeah no buddy thats not what im fucking about
im really not losing anything there
and correct me if im wrong

i can't believe that you said that !
my own auntie
saying

"there is no room for your boyfriend in this famaily.
if your dating Jesse i will diss own you"

wow hearing that from my auntie ouch
it really hurt i can't get it off my mind
i don't even know what to do
she never gives anyone a chance when she see's their bad side
i hate it
if she really knew me she probably would diss own me
im surprised she hasn't yet considering i have piercings
that really hurt

Justin, Justin, Justin.
you got a smile that no one can forget
you can't deny it, even though you do try to deny it
i just keep tellin you that you have a smile that no one can forget
.......... Justin be prepared this is where it gets cheesie and awesome
Oh Justin with the smile so bright and white
it shimmers and sparkles in the moonlight thats ever so bright tonight
okaii so as you know i can't rhyme past two lines
so i think that was pretty cheesie lol
but Justin you really do have an amazing smile
and don't you forget it, well i will never let you forget it
your a very sweet, kind loving guy
its easy to fall for thats for sure
any girl is lucky to have you
but ahh Justin one day we will have a hill billy hoe down !
and it will be the best because we will be the only hicks with piercings XD
and now im im just staring into space
which means i should probably wrap it up
so Justin keep the big pearly whites shinning !!
and keep that smile going from one ear to the other haha
not that anyone can smile that big
okaii maybe my friend Soliman can
but keep the smile going =]

Fuck
i really want to be back in Calgary
i miss it more than i ever thought i would
yeah i know i was always the one to say
i want to move away from Calgary
but then i was forced to leave before i was ready
and now all i want is to be back there
its so boring here
at leas in Calgary if i wanted to go for a walk i wouldn't have walk through
the same part of the city every time
oh and i miss the crazy lady on the bus that sings lol
i want to go back to Calgary
and if i was back there i would be only an hour away from you

that dream made me realize that i still want to be with you
even though you live in Carolina now
you left with no warning
you left with no goodbye
but thats not your fault cause no one would tell you where to find me
and they wouldn't give you my number

but all i can say is
i miss you
i miss you Joshua
if i could i would be sitting right there beside you in that hospital bed
i don't know the last time i told you
but you mean a lot to me
i should probably tell you that more often
i guess its kinda like telling the person you love
that you love them
sometimes you don't say it enough
and when it comes down to breakups or worse its then when you say it
if you love that person you should tell them
not just when its come to drastic measures
i know i tell you that i care about you
and that i worry a lot
but i don't say that you mean a lot to me
we have said this a lot but i will say it again over and over
even though we haven't know each other for a long time
if feels like we have known each other since we were like in kindergarten
thats never happened to me with anyone
in a few months we felt like that
i think that means a lot that we got to know each other that fast
you were the first person that i had ever been able to keep a conversation going for that long
you mean a lot to me
and don't forget it Joshua

you should have gone sooner
if the pain was that bad and didn't go away at all
you should have gone to get it checked out
i wish i had known
i would have tried to get you to go
if you had gone sooner
it wouldn't have gotten to this point
at this point im REALLY worried about you Joshua
i don't want to loose you
but i believe that you can make it through this too
your strong Joshua
if your keep your head up i know you will be fine i know it
and thats what im worried about cause you haven't been yourself lately
im worried and you know i can't and wont stop till i know your okaii

i have another bleaching kit
so i can actually fix my coon tails

okaii this made me laugh so fucking hard
because i have never had anyone ask me this question before
and its just so random and dirty ! Rolfcopter
oh Joshua i hope you love this one


To: OMG;Batman-
From: calneg
Date: Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:45 pm
Subject: No Subject
hey whats up. So i have a question for u.. i am told girls are more horny
when they are on their period.. are u more or less horny on yours?