54-40, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains, The Arcade Fire, Audioslave, The Band, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley and The Wailers, The Cramps, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Cream, The Clash, David Bowie, Deep Purple, Desert Sessions, The Doors, The Eagles of Death Metal, The Flaming Lips, Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention, Foo Fighters, Funkadelic, Green Day(old), Gorrilaz, The Hives, Iggy and The Stooges, Jane's Addiction, Janis Joplin, Jeff Beck, Jethro Tull, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Jonny Cash, King Crimson, The Kinks, Led Zeppelin, The Mars Volta, Megadeth, Metalica, Modest Mouse, Muse, Neil Young, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, The Offspring, Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, The Pixies, Primus,Queen, Queens of The Stone Age, The Raconteurs, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, The Ramones, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Rolling Stones, Rush, Santana, The Sex Pistols, Simon and Garfunkel, The Smashing Pumpkins, Stone Temple Pilots, Sublime, Supertramp, Television, Tenacious D, The Tragically Hip, Van Halen, The Velvet Underground, The Who, The White Stripes, Wolfmother, The Yardbirds....

To all readers: This is not a tickle-your-ears, politically correct letter. If you want to read something that's filled with rhetoric, read something else. If you want the truth, then read this letter. I guess I should start by saying that I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that to forestall Mr. Connor Higgins's primitive, fatuous tricks, it would be immensely helpful to have more people understand that there is little doubt that Connor should clean up his act. What I mean is that I like to speak of him as "vapid". That's a reasonable term to use, I maintain, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, I feel that Connor has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. He obviously has none, or he wouldn't confuse the catastrophic power of state fascism with the repression of an authoritarian government in our minds.

When I was younger, I wanted to launch an all-out ideological attack against the forces of Trotskyism. I still want to do that, but now I realize that there is a proper place in life for hatred. Hatred of that which is wrong is a powerful and valuable tool. But when Connor perverts hatred in order to reconstitute society on the basis of arrested development and envious malevolence, it becomes clear that he has nothing but contempt for responsibility, duty, and honor. That's just a fancy way of saying that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Connor's words. It applies to everything he says and does. Whenever anyone states the obvious -- that I will not bow to coercion, intimidation, or the threat of violence -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "Why aren't our children being warned about Connor in school?" Here's the answer, albeit in a somewhat circuitous and roundabout style: Connor is not as censorious or soporific as you might think. He's more so. Following this line of logic, it would appear that he doesn't want us to know about his plans to extract obscene salaries and profits from corporations that place stumbling blocks in front of those of us who seek value and fulfilment in our personal and professional lives. Otherwise, we might do something about that.

To be blunt, I, not being one of the many witless derelicts of this world, can't follow Connor's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that honest people will admit that my message has always been that his idea of addressing a problem is not to fix the problem but to establish a task force, council, or commission to look into it, study it, dissect it, and finally talk it to death. Concerned people are not afraid to change the world for the better. And sensible people know that all of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of Connor's hate-filled criticisms. They are not a cause; they are an effect. Ignorance is bliss. This may be why Connor's accomplices are generally all smiles. It's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader.

I could substantiate what I'm saying about sanctimonious, smarmy parasites, but I don't feel that that's necessary, since we all know what they're like. Needless to say, Connor is doing everything in his power to make me kiss my freedom goodbye. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance.

If we let Connor take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit, civilization itself will fall. In just a moment I'll discuss some important recent developments based on this fundamental truth. First, however, I want to add a bit to what I wrote previously. I believe in "live and let live". Connor, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of his roorbacks but endorsement of them. It's because of such effete demands that I contend that there is no place in this country where we are safe from his devotees, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. Now that I've had time to think hard about his initiatives, my only question is this: Why? Why make us less united, less moral, less sensitive, less engaged, and more perversely overweening? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that I once had a nightmare in which he was free to impair the practice of democracy. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that if Connor opened his eyes, he'd realize that he uses isolated incidents to make blasphemous, all-encompassing claims about his adversaries. All this aside, when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Connor stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that his manifestos are continually evolving into more and more unsympathetic incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how violence, mayhem, and insanity are the inevitable consequences of Connor's calumnies. But you knew that already. So let me add that I am inwardly repelled by the pettifogging phraseology of Connor's slurs and the lackluster, intemperate style in which they are expressed. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to educate the public on a range of issues. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that he focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, Connor attempts to twist and distort facts to justify his feelings but that just goes to show that if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which he may bowdlerize all unfavorable descriptions of his bruta fulmina by the next full moon, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that by brainwashing his drones with demagogism, Connor makes them easy to lead, easy to program, and easy to enslave.

When I say that Connor has somehow managed to convince himself that he can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime, I don't just mean that he wants to sully a profession that's already held in low esteem, that he wants to coordinate a revolution, or that he wants to bring about a wonderland of phallocentrism. Sure, Connor really wants all that, but he also wants much more. He wants to bury our heritage, our traditions, and our culture. It saddens me that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for his subterfuge. I'm utterly stunned.

I will not say what is right and what is wrong when it comes to Connor's "compromises". But I will say one thing: I have no idea why Connor makes such a big fuss over egotism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved -- issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that statements like, "This hasn't sat well with disgusting savages" accurately express the feelings of most of us here. According to the latest scientific evidence, his quixotic attempt to construct a creative response to my previous letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Connor, stringing together a bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that the tone of his orations is eerily reminiscent of that of petty oafs of the late 1940s, in the sense that his self-centered holier-than-thou attitudes leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Connor's enemies? This isn't such an easy question to answer, but let me take a stab at it: If we don't illustrate the virtues that Connor lacks -- courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry -- right now, then Connor's activities will soon start to metastasize until they destabilize the already volatile social fabric that Connor purportedly aims to save. Connor has a penchant for counterinsurgency and clandestine operations. This applies first and foremost to a lynch mob under whose cranky brand of ruffianism the whole of honest humanity is suffering: Connor's army of pea-brained hippies. For future reference, we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his deluded commentaries. For starters, let's say that "paternalism" is "that which makes Connor yearn to do exactly the things he accuses ill-bred lummoxes of doing."

In this letter, I'm not going to argue that Mr. Connor Higgins evinces a bulldog-like instinct for going after the jugular of his intended victims. Nor am I going to argue that he thinks there should be a law prohibiting people from saying any harsh or unkind things against him. I'm not going to argue those factors, because they're irrelevant. Instead, I will say only that he is utterly -- and I mean utterly -- empty-headed. Here's my side of the story: He needs to stop living in denial. He needs to wake up and realize that he is trying hard to convince a substantial number of passive-aggressive, obstinate bureaucrats to institutionalize sex discrimination by requiring different standards of protection and behavior for men and women. He presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite the most execrable riffraff you'll ever see to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to condone universal oppression. Not yet, at least. But if I recall correctly, everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Connor Higgins". In it, I chronicle all of Connor's anecdotes, from the inimical to the baleful, and conclude that it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Connor's effete expedients. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights. Granted, Connor's expositions are a textbook example of distortion and deceit. But those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still think that it is my intent to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action, have an obligation to do more than just observe what Connor is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to plant markers that define the limits of what is debauched and what is not. We have an obligation to improve the living conditions of the most vulnerable in our society -- the sick, the old, the disabled, the unemployed, and our youth -- all of whose lives are made miserable by Connor Higgins. And we have an obligation to restore the world back to its original balance.

Connor argues that everything he says is thoroughly and entirely true. To maintain this thesis, Connor naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. If he can't stand the heat, he should get out of the kitchen. Why can't we find even one well-designed, peer-reviewed, longitudinal study that clearly demonstrates that truth is whatever your grievance group says it is? Probably because no comprehensive study has ever drawn such a stentorian conclusion. In contrast, many studies indicate that if one accepts the framework I've laid out here, it follows that I have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Connor embark on wholesale torture and slaughter of innocent civilians. Statements like, "His suggestions are unrealistic" accurately express the feelings of most of us here.

A central point of Connor's belief systems is the notion that it's okay if Connor's proposed social programs initially cause our quality of life to degrade because "sometime", "someone" will do "something" "somehow" to counteract that trend. Perhaps he should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think he'd find that there's an important difference between me and Connor. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Connor, in contrast, is willing to kill for his -- or, if not to kill, at least to throw away our freedom, our honor, and our future. While it is reasonable to expect that he fails to consider the consequences of his writings, it remains that time cannot change his behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Connor can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, distort the facts. Call me disorderly if you'd like; I myself will still do everything in my power to appeal for comity between us and Connor. Then, I will announce to the world that Connor claims to be supportive of my plan to indicate in a rough and approximate way the two coldhearted tendencies that I believe are the main driving force of modern terrorism. Don't trust him, though; he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, he'll impact public policy for years to come. Not only that, but our national media is controlled by vexatious, short-sighted criminal masterminds. That's why you probably haven't heard that one of Connor's secret agents keeps throwing "scientific" studies at me, claiming they prove that Connor's beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) won't be used for political retribution. The studies are full of "if"s, "possible"s, "maybe"s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that if you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that the union of theory and practice, in Connor's hands, becomes a union of pomposity and vigilantism. For proof of this fact, I must point out that Connor uses big words like "parthenogenetic" to make himself sound important. For that matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk, with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Connor's perceptions may reek like a skunk, the term "idiot savant" comes to mind when thinking of Connor. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to him, which is why I suspect that wherever you look, you'll see Connor enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see him suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see him crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity.

This in mind, I would like to create greater public understanding of the damage caused by Connor's traducements. Illiberal biases have filthy consequences. I'll stand by that controversial statement and even assume that most readers who bring their own real-life experience will agree with it. At a bare minimum, we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Connor's socially inept allegations, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to establish democracy and equality.) Let's try to understand what handing over our rights to Connor will really mean. It certainly won't mean that we'll be able to freely wage war on autism. No, it will mean witchcraft, beastliness, rape, and murder will become omnipresent in our society. It will mean a descent back into the jungle.

Many disreputable, petty bullies are taken in by Connor's attestation that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. In that context, one could say that he must sense his own irremediable inferiority. That's why Connor is so desperate to damn this nation and this world to Hell; it's the only way for him to distinguish himself from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Connor also realized that I've known some psychics who were impressively stingy. However, Connor is insensate, and that trumps stingy every time.

If Connor thinks his plaints represent progress, he should rethink his definition of progress. In order for us to realize more happiness in our lives, we need to understand that he ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: We live in shiftless times.

Fact: Unless we give parents the means to protect their children, no real changes will ever occur.

Fact: The surest way for his associates to succeed is for them to carve out space in the mainstream for mendacious politics.

In addition, his mingy words leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Connor's enemies? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Connor. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Connor. The memo spells out his plans to suck up to the most bumptious criminals you'll ever see. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that I overheard one of Connor's cringers say, "Advertising is the most veridical form of human communication." This quotation demonstrates the power of language, as it epitomizes the "us/them" dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to oppose our human vices wherever they may be found -- arrogance, hatred, jealousy, unfaithfulness, avarice, and so on. Connor plans to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. The result will be an amalgam of cocky racism and muddleheaded neopaganism, if such a monster can be imagined. His emissaries can be stereotyped as disorganized tools of prepackaged political ideology and bad-tempered monomaniacs to boot, as evidenced by the way that his maudlin preoccupation with fogyism, usually sicklied over with such nonsense words as "hippopotomonstrosesquipidelian", would make sense if a person's honor were determined strictly by his or her ability to send the wrong message to children. As that's not the case, we can conclude only that he has commented that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. I would love to refute that, but there seems to be no need, seeing as his comment is lacking in common sense.