Eric
Driving: 1998 Chevy 1500 2wd 5.0L
employed
single
Driving: 1998 Chevy 1500 2wd 5.0L
employed
single
LIFE AS AN ALBERTAN
1."Vacation" means going to Calgary or Edmonton for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know several people who hit deer more than once.
5. You use a down comforter in the summer.
6. Your grandperents drive at 100 km/h through four meters of snow during a blizzard,without flinching.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car and your kids know how to use them.
8. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the pot-holes are filled. (I think above all else Edmontonians will understand this the most).
10. You know both seasons: Winter and Construction
11. You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka, ski pants,a toque, two pairs of mittens, boots past your knees and 3 feet of snow in a -35(-8000 with windchill) blizzard, your eye-lashes are frozen together, your nose is running, you can't feel your toes and you still stop at the 7 Eleven for a Slurpee on the way home from the ski hill.
12. Gopher=Speed bump.
13. You actually understand these jokes
A white man said walked in to the bar and said "Coloured people aren't aloud here"
The black man turned around and stood up. then he said:
"Listen sir...when i was born i was BLACK"
"When i grew up i was BLACK"
"When im sick im BLACK"
"When i go in the sun im BLACK"
"When im cold im BLACK"
"And when i die ill be BLACK"
"but you sir"
"When your born your PINK"
"When you grow up your WHITE"
"When your sick, your GREEN"
"When you go in the sun you turn RED"
"When you're cold you turn BLUE"
"and when you die you turn PURPLE"
and then the black man sat back down and the white man walked away
put this on your page if you hate racism!!
The black man turned around and stood up. then he said:
"Listen sir...when i was born i was BLACK"
"When i grew up i was BLACK"
"When im sick im BLACK"
"When i go in the sun im BLACK"
"When im cold im BLACK"
"And when i die ill be BLACK"
"but you sir"
"When your born your PINK"
"When you grow up your WHITE"
"When your sick, your GREEN"
"When you go in the sun you turn RED"
"When you're cold you turn BLUE"
"and when you die you turn PURPLE"
and then the black man sat back down and the white man walked away
put this on your page if you hate racism!!
Chevys don't get older they just get faster
Women's English:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. Sure, go ahead = You better not
7. We need to talk = You're in trouble
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you MORON!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Men's English:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11.I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. Sure, go ahead = You better not
7. We need to talk = You're in trouble
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you MORON!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Men's English:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11.I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...(You MUST read them out loud)
>1) That's not right .......................... Sum Ting Wong
>2) Are you harboring a fugitive?.............. Hu Yu Hai Ding
>3) See me ASAP................................ Kum Hia Nao
>4) Stupid Man ................................ Dum Fuk
>5) Small Horse ............................... Tai Ni Po Ni
>6) Did you go to the beach? .................. Wai Yu So Tan
>7) I bumped into a coffee table .............. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin ni
>8] I think you need a face lift .............. Chin Tu Fat
>9) It's very dark in here .................... Wao So Dim
>10) I thought you were on a diet ............. Wai Yu Mun Ching?
>11) This is a tow away zone .................. No Pah King
>12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
>13) Staying out of sight ..................... Lie Ying Lo
>14) He's cleaning his automobile ............. Wa Shing Ka
>15) Your body odor is offensive .............. Yu Stin Ki Pu
>16) Great .................................... Fa Kin Su Pa