I'm strange. Impulsive. A huge nerd. Laid back. Prone to be any of number of different personalities at any moment. I'm stoic, creative, I'm loud and annoying, soft and thoughtful, compassionate, empathetic, romantic, hopeless romantic, funny, awkward, cynical, sarcastic, sardonic, absolutely and hopelessly apathetic beyond all reason, intellectual, political, controversial, conservative, prudent, sexy, open, closed, secretive, naive, fatalist, oblivious, overpowering, tempting, pissed off, horny, depressed, envious, vengeful, mysterious, free spirited, deep, shallow, heartless, or anything else I feel. They aren't masks. These are all individual parts of me. Oh, and I LOVE to learn.

I have an art site here Please excuse the silly, emo username, and the fact that depressed is spelled incorrectly because of the sixteen character limit.

For the most part, I greatly dislike humanity. If I were to walk down a street, and see a child being beaten and a puppy being kicked, and could only save one, I would with no doubt save the puppy.

My scent is Hugo Boss's Deep Red.

My server is EREDOR; username is Eleine, as is my name. Characters: Azraehlia, Kiraelia.

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” –Mark Twain

"When you cried for birds, you cried for yourself. People with a voice are happy. If a robot had a voice, he may cry, 'I didn't want to be human.'" -Ghost in the Shell

“If I threw these keys away, then those doors will be closed forever, and that shouldn’t be up to me to decide, should it?” –My Blueberry Nights

“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

"What we do.— What we do is never understood but always only praised or censured." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"With a great goal.— With a great goal one is superior even to justice, not only to one's deeds and one's judges." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"What do you consider most humane?— To spare someone shame." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"What is the seal of liberation?— No longer being ashamed in front of oneself." -Friedrich Nietzsche

“In the horizon of the infinite.— We have left the land and have embarked! We have burned our bridges behind us—indeed, we have gone further and destroyed the land behind us! Now, little ship, look out! Beside you is the ocean: to be sure, it does not always roar, and at times it lies spread out like silk and gold and reveries of graciousness. But hours will come when you will realize that it is infinite and that there is nothing more awesome than infinity. Oh, the poor bird that felt free and now strikes the walls of this cage! Woe, when you feel homesick for the land as if it had offered more freedom—and there is no longer any ‘land’!” –Friedrich Nietzsche (I would like to have this tattooed to my back one day, among various others.)

“Thoughts.— Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings—always darker, emptier, simpler.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

“All things change in a dynamic environment. Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you.” –Ghost In The Shell

“Being profound and seeming profound.— Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity; those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity. For the crowd believes that if it cannot see to the bottom of something it must be profound: it is so timid and dislikes going into the water.” –Friedrich Nietzche

“There are countless ingredients that make up the human body and mind, like all the components that make up me as an individual with my own personality. Sure I have a face and voice to distinguish myself from others, but my thoughts and memories are unique only to me, and I carry a sense of my own destiny. Each of those things are just a small part of it. I collect information to use in my own way. All of that blends to create a mixture that forms me and gives rise to my conscience. I feel confined, only free to expand myself within boundaries.” –Ghost In The Shell

“We weep for a bird's cry, but not for a fish's blood. Blessed are those with a voice.” –Ghost In The Shell: Innocence

“Who kills a man kills a reasonable creature, God's image, but thee who destroys a goode booke, kills reason it selfe.” –John Milton

“I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy as long as I can paint.” –Frida Kahlo

"A friend is one before whom I may think aloud." –Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." –Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." –Henry David Thoreau

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." –Matt Groening

“Seven simple rules of going into hiding: one, never trust a cop in a raincoat. Two, beware of enthusiasm and of love, both are temporary and quick to sway. Three, if asked if you care about the world's problems, look deep into the eyes of he who asks, he will never ask you again. Four, never give your real name. Five, if ever asked to look at yourself, don’t. Six, never do anything the person standing in front of you cannot understand. And finally seven, never create anything, it will be misinterpreted, it will chain you and follow you for the rest of your life.” –I’m Not There

Some of my favorite memories:

My memories of when I was little, sleeping at my grandmother's house on the 23rd floor of a building Shang Hai with the balcony doors open; it smelled so nice and everything was incredibly peaceful, happy, and now nostalgic.

A trip to Charleston with some of my best friends (three guys and a chick); we wandered around aimlessly for two and a half days, making fun of my female friend Nadene while pretending to be lesbians with her.

Making and wearing my first corset.

My first December 25th in the US; we celebrated Christmas for the first time and I bought my parents presents; that was the only thing I ever spent my allowance on.

My time in Chicago this summer at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago; random flings, hanging out with incredibly cool artists, figure drawing with a live model, etc.

Flying over Chicago at night; it was horribly sad to leave, but the view of the city from a plane when it's lit up at night in its beautiful golden and kaleidescope lights was and is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Frolicking in the rain earlier tonight with my best friend.

Etc.



Your Seduction Style: Sex Pot

Tradionally known as a "siren", "rake", or "femme fatale." You exude sensuality.
And while your sexiness is part of what makes you an incredible seducer...
Your ability to make others feel sexy is what really makes your seduction skills shine.

Most people don't feel attractive or desired enough - a need which you tap into.
You have the ultimate sex appeal, and getting attention from you is a total self esteem boost.
Your confidence is contagious, and you help others unleash their own sexuality.

Your sex pot seduction skills are so intoxicating that you can get away with... well, almost murder.
Lovers feel like your sensuality is in your blood, so it's only natural if you flirt a little.
And if you stray, that might be okay as well - as long as you make your lover still feel hot.
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Fun times: Burlesque, corsets, corsetry, WARCRACK, Warcraft 3 (DEFENSE OF THE ANCIENTS), Counter Strike: Source, Half Life 2, Deathmatch, PORTALS, Rome Total War, Golden Sun (replete with yummy historical allusions!), STARCRAFT, Black Hawk Down, Killzone, dancing like I'm high out of my mind at concerts (Perpetual Groove), masochistic impulses, stilettos, my unwarranted self confidence, my unwarranted complete lack of self esteem, blueberry pie, being in love, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, TWAIN, A Confederacy of Dunces, Orson Scott Card, THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER, HEINLEIN, books, necks, legs, ass, atheism, The God Delusion, video games, make up, painting, digital painting, design, fashion design, Fashion (not keeping up with trends, or to wear the "latest thing," but I love watching the runways. Fashion pieces I like are like collecting art, art which I can display on my body and say something about me, sewing, web design, volunteering at the local animal shelter, talking to strangers, the dark, keys, scents and perfumes, cinnamon, ORANGE TIC TACS, grammar, spelling, silk peau de soie, silk charmeuse, tulle, tracing small circles with my ring finger, dried strawberries, PAINTBALL, ostrich feathers, hand sewing, taking apart computers and computer parts, white button down shirts, Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie, Gemma Ward, Rebecca Romijn, ASIA ARGENTO, running my hand down a neck or rib cage, nerdy/geeky guys, BLOWING SHIT UP, silver perchlorate, cloches, gray, impromptu anything, Texas Hold'em, playing with fire, the metro, sitting next to interesting people on planes, looking people in the eye, mac 'n' cheese, leather gloves, glasses, bass guitars, bass guitarists, mojitos, sitting in the window of a tall building and watching people on the streets below, kissing in the rain, when girls bite their lips, innovative, absurd, new slang, cats, good speakers, hippies, coconut ice cream with cherries, catching other people's eyes, orchestral concerts, concerts, singing songs from musicals with my friends from memory, staring at the wall, staring at the ceiling, MythBusters, How It's Made, House, Scrubs, Family Guy, Animal Cops, NatGeo documentaries, Dog Whisperer, History Channel, Law and Order: SVU, Iron Chef, Dirty Jobs. Battlestar Galactica.

A$$rape: Love, falling in love, assholes who are not funny, my more-frequent-than-desired bouts of retardation, boring people, feet, heights, my fragile lack of self esteem, my constant paranoia, bush, Bush, taking photos, society, school, ethics, other man made illusions, America, humanity, people who CHOOSE to be ignorant, companies that have "pink products," aka, "we'll donate 10 (measly) percent of the profits from this product to *insert trendy cause of the moment here*" instead of simply donating their money to where the hell ever, pink, the new green TREND, when people who don't actually give a shit about the environment suddenly become pissy about recycling and turning off the god damned lights at so and so hour on so and so day, whores who dress and act like whores but pretend to be innocent, chicks who wear super low cut, almost non existent shirts or "skirts" that I refer to as belts, who bitch about guys staring at their in-your-face pussy, catalogue-of-an-unknown-designer "models," people who think nude photography (Helmut Newton, for example) is porn, people who think suicide girls is art, the sun, slave morality, tramp stamps, hot chicks who say they're ugly or fat, people who say "don't you dare judge me," "I hate when people judge," "discrimination is stupid," the arguments against gay marriage, chicks who bitch about all of those "hey hottie wanna cam?" messages, because everyone knows it boosts their self esteem and they are only bragging about it, people who list all of their friends' names on their profile--if those people are your friends, I assume they already fucking know, the rest of us could not give less of a flying fuck, bicurious people (FUCK YOU ALL, AND YOUR EXPERIMENTAL ATTENTION CRAVING "LESBIANISM"), people who don't know the difference (or don't care) between your/you're, it's/its, their/they're/there, then/than, accept/except, who's/whose, breath/breathe (the worst of them all), carbonated anything, my propensity for procrastination, public bathrooms, bathroom stalls that don't lock (why the FUCK is it so goddamn complicated to install a lot and make it go into the big ass hole on the other half of the fucking side???), superficial conversation ("hey" "hey" "sup" "nm u?" "nm" *end*), superficial friends, medieval torture techniques, "What would *insert douche bag here* do? paraphernalia, people who brag and talk about their drug use/alcoholism all of the time, photo captions which say "I was so wasted," people who brag about the fact that they just smoked more marijuana last night than is grown in the entire country of El Salvador in a decade, pants with words on the ass such as "juicyland" or handprints, people making uninformed opinions who either are unable to defend them, or defend them by screaming them (and obscenities) at a higher volume Don't get me wrong. I LOVE debates, especially controversial ones. But GTFO if you're going to pull your support out of the faerie land in your ass, people who bitch about cops (I would pay to see them robbed at that exact moment, with no cops around to help for sweet, sweet, poetic justice), anal electrocution, mobs, how the average teenager can be persuaded so fucking easily by a few seemingly intelligent comments without any research, people who don't have enough balls to defend their fucking beliefs, i.e. "FUCK I motherfucking hate purple. It's uglier than a bad case of crabs," "I love purple!", "Well, I guess it's kind of pretty and matches well with certain things, I kind of like it," FUCK. THAT., spoiled motherfuckers (I once knew a chick who fucking CRIED because she DIDN'T get a fucking car on her birthday, when "all of [her] friends got one"), WoW downtime, spamming motherfuckers in my video games (you know, the "NIGGER, YOU'RE A NIGGER, I PWN YOUR FACE, I HATE YOU LOL, rinse and repeat 88 times fuckers who are really 13 year olds who cannot get any attention otherwise), people who do shit "for the lulz," but then completely fail at producing any type of lulz, the death of human natural selection, FUCK. FACEBOOK. I'd rather eat an AIDS infested squid carcass with no utensils. The list goes on.

What I actually enjoy: Good conversation. Rarer than one would think. Long, random walks to nowhere, alone or not, at night. Postcards. Designing and sewing corsets. Practicing burlesque dancing in my room. Dancing in my underwear in the dark with my eyes closed, like a hippie at woodstock. Talking to people into the early morning hours. Smoking. Listening to really great music at 3 in the morning when everything is completely dark and all is perfectly quiet. Movie marathons. Falling in love. Being brokenhearted. Random, small acts of kindness. Thanking people for small acts of kindness, even when they are in fact required.The risk and dangers and thrills and self esteem boost of having an affair with someone taken (fuck my old altruistic tendencies, I no longer find any reason to please the world. I'll only be here for a while and I don't give a shit about my legacy, so I will do whatever the hell I want). Volunteering at the animal shelter. Helping families with their pet adoption paperwork. Walking dogs. Laying in my chair upside down. Whistling. Singing my own songs to myself in my room. Sleeping with people (not sex). Being naked and freshly showered on a warm spring evening. Cuddling up by the window. Taking off a corset. Watching a really good movie. Eight times in a row (My Blueberry Nights). Blueberry pie with ice cream., cold showers.

Music:

A Perfect Circle, Alice in Chains, Ambulance, Antonio Vivaldi, Aphex Twin, Apocalyptica, Arcade Fire, Arch Enemy, Badly Drawn Boy, Beatles, Beethoven, Beth Orton, Bjork, Black Label Society, Bob Dylan, Children of Bodom, Bright Eyes, Cat Power, The Chemical Brothers, CocoRosie, Coldplay, Cradle of Filth, David Bowie, Depeche Mode, Dido, Dizzy Gillespie, Dogs Die In Hot Cars, Edith Piaf, Enya, Feist, Fiona Apple, The Flaming Lips, Frank Sinatra, Franz Ferdinand, Franz Schubert, Goldfrapp, Hatebreed, Incubus, Interpol, Iron and Wine, Iron Maiden, Jaco Pastorius, James Blunt, Jeff Buckley, Jimmy Eat World, Joanna Newsom, Johann Strauss, Keane, The Killers, Kimya Dawson, Kings of Convenience, KT Tunstall, Lamb of God, Les Claypool, Lily Allen, Ludwig van Beethoven, Marilyn Manson, Maroon 5, Massive Attack, Metric, Michael Buble, Modest Mouse, the Moldy Peaches, Mortorhead, Muse, Neva Dinova, My Chemical Romance (so sue me), Nellie McKay, Nine Inch Nails, Neva Dinova, Nirvana, Norah Jones, Pantera, Pearl Jam, A Perfect Circle, Perpetual Groove, The Perishers, Pete Yorn, Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, Pink Floyd, Phish, Porcupine Tree, Portishead, The Postal Service, Queens of the Stone Age, Radiohead, Rammstein, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Apocalyptica, Sex Pistols, Slipknot, Snow Patrol, Sonic Youth, Stravinsky, Sufjan Stevens, Sum 41, System of a Down, Telepopmusik, Tenacious D, Three Days Grace, Tool, Travis, Tricky, Turin Brakes, Ugly Cassanova, Vast, Velvet Revolver, Velvet Underground, Venetian Snares, Victor Wooten, Weezer, The Whitest Boy Alive, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Zutons.

Movies:

My Blueberry Nights, Pride and Prejudice, Brick, 300, The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded, The Matrix Revolution, Ghost In The Shell, Ghost In The Shell: Innocence, Animatrix, Alien, Aliens, Alien3, Alien Resurrection, 3:10 to Yuma, Saving Private Ryan (I just saw this... DDAY! CONQUER! NAZI TEDDY BEARS! O_O), I'm Not There, 2046, Zwartboek, Das Leben Der Anderen, Der Untergang, Amelie, Frida, Evening, Die Falscher, Femme Fatale, Gladiator, Hard Candy, Juno, Love Actually, Moulin Rouge, Mysterious Skin, No Country For Old Men, Tank Girl, Paris, The Lion in Winter, Je T'aime, Pitch Black, Sin City, The Jacket, Studio 54, Sunshine, The Darjeeling Limited, The Pianist, The Good German, The Holiday, Resident Evil: Extinction, La Vie En Rose, There Will Be Blood, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Lord of War, V for Vendetta, The Trial (with Orson Welles).