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Quotes r teh updated when funnyness happens, stfu plskthxbai /part.
Bizz: whens the fuckin basketball game on? i wana see some coons chase a ball around for a few hours
Dude, i got so much syphilus that my siphilus would kill the other syphilus if i fucked that chick... what doesnt kill your penis, makes it stronger.
What was your family like?
My dad was so mean, he'd give my sisters and me 10$ on christmas eve, steal it back from us that night when we were sleeping, and then beat us on christmas day because we lost it.
Me: omg, my gums are on fire. It's like... its like an oven.. *breathes out*.. hey man, no smoke, its not an oven!, hahaha
im gonna kill you until you die
im gona eat this... then puke it out cuz its so good then ill eat it again
ian: doesnt hurt to have a pile of bile with that too.
why did the girl fall off the swing?
cuz she has no legs
whats the hardest part of eating the vegetable?
the wheelchair
what did the blind, mute, def kid with no arms or legs get for x-mas?
cancer.
so.... can me and you sleep together so that my crabs eat your herpes and we are cured?
slurp, thats like when you get pregnent if u get knocked up again it cancles out
why did the little boy fall off his bike?
cuz someone threw a fridge at him.
I have about 3000 little kids locked in my basement. I think your going to heaven.
With 3000 kids, it would be very profitable to make soccer balls.
I already got them making coasters.
i fronted on your mom last night!
i processed on your mom's cornhole
Mike quotes:
your feet need braces
Every time Simon climax's, an angel gets it's wings..
so i overwent my transformation from man to tyrannosaurus sex!
you're the coolest bitch in res
How can you trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn't die
remember when i kicked hayley off the bed
i wonder what the new "my humps" annoying-song-of-the-year in clubs for us is gonna be in september and on.
6yr old girl: you hit me in the dink!
Well, next time somebody tells me they will kick my ass... i will just tell them i can beat them at dota. People will back me up for sure.
Oreo: do you have sun in canada?
Mako: yes, we have 3 suns in canada, and in 2012, two of them shall collide.
wow...
I take eskimo history in university. I don't think you have the degree in eskimontology!
It's so hot outside that your balls will get a tan from the reflection of your shorts.
Sweet pixelated monkey shit!
Bizz:Disnelyland tried to sue me because they found out my nutsack is a much happier place.
My defense was that i just threw my scrotum on the witness stand.
Drifter's earrings overrides all orb effects.
"where are you from?"
"iraq"
"yea right, name a city in that country"
"pakistan"
Kara:Holy shit we all got high on nutmeg and played baseball for the entire day. It was a school even with like 300 people and I even got a free T-shirt. It was the best day of my life.
Me/gray/buddha: .........
So if you got high with nutmeg, do you get the munchies? well if you do, you can use the rest for baking.
gray: i leaked like a bad tampax
what!?
gray: so im gonna pick you up because you are half way between my house and home
k...
gray: in case the world ends, wanna be my apocalypse fuck buddy?
me: yea, we signed up for that. years ago..
gray:Just look at yourself, noob
me:I did, and i ejaculated 3.3times
Gray:only? thats noob
Me:yea but 3.3times in 0.3sec... so thats....
Gray:yea...its noob
Me: well... 3.3ej/0.3s... thats... alot per minuteGG STFU.
Kanker Hufter = F*cking bitch in deutch
I was too lazy to type it in english
LOL.
I don't even know how to begin answering your question, and I don't want to give you a response in the traditional sense so much as I want to give you a hatchet wound on your face. You're an idiot on so many levels, that I feel almost overwhelmed. Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid.
Jean: I'll blow you real good in September.
Me: fuck you.
Grayson: stu my mom found you a new girlfriend at her school.. she's a 6foot goth who looks like a man...
Me: haha
Stu: I cant even find a response to that with all the swears that i am thinking of at the moment.
You can't spell "pizza" with a "k"
wow.
Me: i want some real fucking tequila
Gray: haha...
Me: Im immune to rum though
Gray: im immune to frost damage
Me: atleast we both have immunities
...pause
Me: yea but im not immune to heartbreak
Gray: is it me again or some tramp?
Marc: hey... hey... what... what rhymes with fag?
Me: mmmmm i dont know
Marc: oh gee... uh... hmm... is it... is it Yann?
Me: OH YEA!!!
Maria: so guys, tell me why its so great to live in saskatchewan
Yann: well first of all, you need to be a joke....
Me: pwnd.
Me: alright, she got an 8. Time to choose a nickname Hayley
Hayley: i dont know... you do it..
Dustin: alright alright ill do it... hmmm
*pause*
Dustin: alright Hayley, your nickname is going to be Anal Rash.
Me: HA.
Catharine: ask him what happened to his neck
Me: fuck off...
Catharine: yea its on the other side of his neck
Me: I got punched in the neck, k?
Tasha: Yea, punched by a fucking leech!
Me: ............thanks.
Want to fix up that english there Yann?
yea one time i ate a lot of grass like a dog and then puked it all out. it really made me feel better
you are so cute......
aww thanks
and you are so smart.... like a dolphin..
EEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... thats how to say thank-you in dolfin!
Me: Marry me
Gray: harper got elected that'll be illegal soon
Andy here and I love a good sandwich, so if you have a sandwich, come roll with me!
My name is Jorma motherfucker, the sensitive one. Break your motherfuckin face with the butt of my gun. Rip off your arms and break your legs with them. Spread your asscheeks and stick my dick in em - <3 awesome town.
"Im so sorry, Ill do anything to make your _______ feel better"
uhhh no.
Me: Your massages are as good as steaks
Alanah: So now you are grading me on steaks?
Matt: Yeah well, we are guys, we like food
Me: So yea, your massage is like a tenderloin... mmmm... steak..
Craig (looking at a poster): haha douche
Me: dude, that means shower
Craig: go take a douche... lol
Nish: Ha listen to his voice he just hit puberty
Arthur: No i haven't hit puberty!
Chassel: its ok i have a sniper rifle
The_fro has been killed by Chassel
Chassel has been killed by Chassel
the_fro: WTF?
WOW BALANCE
Rain: What the hell are croutons?
Tarano: ... so you've never had a salad before? mk..
Me: ok rain be more emo.
"Hey, this is a really stupid question, dont laugh. Whats the difference between indicatif and subjonctif?" (you know who you are..... LAUGH)
........
Me: meat paste. spam.
Arthur: I never meat paste.
Me: eat more spam arthur.
Arthur: I meat pack, so the paste don't come out..... err.. wait a minute... EWWW
Me: yea.. ill save that moment to try your pudding + choc chips
Hayley: ok, well, whenever you have the craving, come visit me
Me: LOL, oh god. double meaning. you dirty girl.
Me: so yea im gonna need a shield..
(somebody): you're gonna need some1 to shield each orifice right?
Me: ha.. ha.. ha.
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