367277491 : I am completely empty. I have no feelings about anything. To say that I hate everything would only put a dramitic face on it and be a lie.
I have friends, "loved ones." People who would tell you that I am one of the most important people in their lives. I am not being boastfull this is just a fact. They could all hang for all that it would affect me. Although I would play the role and grieve appropriately-in reality I would feel nothing. As always.
I do speed. When I can't get that I drink cheap beer until I pass out. Most nights I spend jacked up/drunk in front of the computer surfing the web mindlessly and listening to music at tragically high volumes until (as I mentioned above,) I pass out.
I have a good job. I look like hell. I am in my mid thirties. I will go on like this until I die at 65. I honestly feel nothing. I should be depressed/angy/sad about this but I could not possibly bring myself to that level of emotion.
The only thing that has ever saddened me are hallmark commericals and the death of a friends dog.
I lie. I keep secrets from everyone. I am a complete fraud - a straw man, a robot.



