Drugs

I remember a time when they were non-existent in my life. When all me, and anyone else needed to have a good time was just a bunch of people together, no questions asked. Drugs were taboo, drugs were bad. Alcohol too. We just had fun. sober fun. And it really WAS fun, there was never any boredom, any need for anything else. Me and my friends all lived in a 'good' part of the city, and honestly, anyone we knew who had either tried it, or did it, had like, a "negative aura", or it was like 'oh my god!, I cant believe they've 'done that!". So shocked. We were innocent. We were kids. And it was easy. It was fun. And as we all grew older. Got into new things, new schools, got to know new people, things started to change. one by one, we all drank, got drunk for the first time, tried smoking pot for the first time. And we were all excited and after the initial shock of 'wow, that was fun", it all slowly became norm, and after it became norm, it became expected, like 'we're drinking this weekend!! right??.. We better be!" and of course, drinking came with smoking pot. Like " I'm sooo high, this is awesome! " and all that silly bullshit. And that's lasted me a long time. Being satisfied with those 2 things to just have an awesome time. And I would argue with the people who said it was a 'gateway drug' mostly parents etc etc. And I didn't believe it. Because up until then, all I had ever done was smoke weed, or drink, that's it, and I was happy. As i've gotten older, my friends that i've had for a long time have experienced things. And I've been shocked. Because before it was ' really? you smoke weed?' and now its more like " I can't believe you've done ALL that sh*t, you basehead ". And I slowly got more curious. Pot became more of a everyday thing, and something i'd say "god, i need to smoke a joint right now, im so stressed " it wasn't the 'special' rare party drug that it used to be in the begining. Almost as if, pot had gotten boring and routine and me and my friends needed something new and exciting again, because this marijuana thing was just like little kid stuff. So we decided to do mushrooms. Sure, they're still pretty harmless. But fun! and different! Then someone in the group tries something else. Something harder. And of course we're all surprised. But this peron is like " Ya!, you've gotta do it! you ARE trying it, I dont even care what ya say". And then, not alike before, we're surprised at first, and then we slowly creep into wanting it, wanting harder things, wanting something new and different, something that lasts longer etc etc. And I find myself these days still thinking like that. Like the weekend isn't fun with 'sobriety'. Its like, f*ck, we're just sitting here, we either need to get high, or we need to drink, because this SUCKS! and we laugh it off, like jesus, we're friggin alcoholics, junkies, HA HA. But then I sit here by myself like right now, and reflect upon this whole spiral into a world I never thought i would be familiar with. when I was younger, when i was convinced I would never even TRY these things, when I thought they were low, and dirty. And here I am now, having done plenty, and wanting to try more, and being certain I AM going to try more. And its almost scary. Not knowing at which point I will stop, and be 'satisfied'.... And not knowing at which point the people I know will stop. Because I can say, everyone I know, is basically the exact same as me, whether or not they experienced certain things at different points than i did or whatever.
So, I am not really trying to get some soulful 'message' across or anything, Im not making a point. I'm just sitting here thinking, about how innocense really does fade. And how you think certain ways when you are young. But those thoughts almost always fade away......