My New Epic Story
Mosquitoes
Written by Ryeen
Edited by Jeff
The Fejerson’s go to a family reunion (organized by the wife’s father who recently remarried). Once they arrive they realize how many damn mosquitoes there are at the campsite but they are too polite to leave because they think it will anger the grandfather and his new wife. So they spray a bunch of mosquito repellent and the mosquitoes appear to go away.
They eat dinner and have an amazing evening around the campfire. They go to bed very tired and when they wake up the poor family discovers something awful.
The grandfather and his bride are found by the father of the family. He screams in horror as he see that his father and stepmother in-law have had all the blood sucked out of them!
As the husband is staring in horror at the freshly discovered corpses, his wife has just awoken and goes to check on the children and as she enters the tent she discovers that the blood drained corpses of her children!
“HOLY JESUS! OH MY GOD!" she screams as she shakes their zombie like bodies in a vain attempt to awake her dead children.
The father hears the mother cry out and runs to her aid, fearing that she faces the same fate of his father in-law.
As he exits the tent he sees his wife slowly step out of the other tent, her face ghost white, tears pouring down her cheeks. As he meets her eyes he sees hatred building...
YOU BASTARD! YOU KILLED MY BABIES! She thinks as she runs towards her husband. He thinks she is going to run into him and hug him so he holds out his arms preparing for the embrace. The wife has no intentions of hugging her husband as she lashes out at him with her recently manicured nails.
She lets the full three inches of her nail dig into the tender flesh of his neck. She tries to drag her nails through but they quickly break under the sheer force. She stares into her husband’s eyes that are wide with horror. A few seconds later the nails in his neck shoot out, due to the pressure behind them. Blood gushes out of the ten neatly spaced wounds.
“YOU BITCH" The husband screams as he clutches his throat. Blood spurts out of the gaps between his fingers. The wife screams as she realizes what she has done.
"OH MY GOD HONEY IM SO SORRY!"
The husband tries to speak again but all that comes out is mouth full after mouth full of blood.
The husband falls to his knees and then to the ground. As the life slowly drains from his eyes his wife stares back in horror. The husband takes his last gasp of air and he expires. The wife kneels by his side and begins to cry over the corpse of the man she loved.
In the distance she can hear the roar of an engine. As the sound quickly nears her, she gets up and watches a black hummer run over the tent containing the corpses of her children and swerves towards her. It stops right in front of her.
Two masked people exit the front doors and they slowly walk towards her and grab her by the arm. They drag her into the back seat of the vehicle. She now notices that one is a man, the other a woman.
The two people re-enter the front seats and speed off.
The man begins to speak.
"You’re lucky to be alive mam."
"What are you talking about?!" The wife replies.
Right then the driver pulls over to the side of the road and the two people remove their masks and slowly turn towards her. She looks at their faces, and a moment later she recognizes who they are.
They’re John Stewart and Kathy Griffin.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" the wife screams.
Suddenly the door next to her swings open and Ashton Kutcher shrieks, "YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D BITCH!"
A second after he says this he and the other two comedians each pull out a 9mm and start unloading their clips into the poor, unfortunate wife.
The end.
IF THIS STORY MADE YOU LAUGH COPY IT TO YOUR OWN NEX PAGE. IF IT DIDN'T GO FUCK YOURSELF
100 THINGS ABOUT ME
ME
1. Name: Ryan
2. Your Nick Names: Ryeen
3. Current Location: Calgary
4. Date Of Birth: December 05, 1990
5. Zodiac Sign: Sagittairius
6. Male Or Female: Male
7. Age: 16
8. School: like watching a soap opera
9. Occupation: student
10. Residence: house
APPEARANCE
12. Hair Color: 4 or 5 different shades of blonde
13. Hair Long or Short: Medium length
14. Eye Color: brown but change color in the sunlight
15. How Do Your Nails Look: like ive been chewing on them
17. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: yes
18. Do You Like Yourself: sometimes
20. Think Your Attractive: usually
21. Piercings: NO!
22. Tattoo: in the future
23. Righty or Lefty: southpaw
'FIRSTS'
24. First Rollercoaster: West Edmonton Mall, like, 3 years ago
25. First Cell Phone: don't have one yet lol
26. First Best Friend: Thomas
27. First Award: award? what the fuck are those?
28. First Sport You Joined: soccer I think
29. First Pet: Ben, he was a cat
30. First Vacation: um.. Vancouver?
31. First Concert: some crappy country concert about 10 years ago
32. First Love (not lust): haven't had one yet
FAVORITES
33. Movie: The Corporation
34. TV Show: Six Feet Under
36. Bands: to many to list
37. Song: i have many
38. Food: pizza
40. Candy: certain chocolates
41. Sport: hockey
42. Favorite Sport To Watch: dont watch em
43. Brand: er....
44. Stores: stores with fair trade clothing
45. School Subject: art, duh. PURE MATH is PURE EVIL
46. Animal: Cats
47. Radio Station: 92.9
48. Magazines: dont read magazines
CURRENTLY
49. Eating: TOFUTTI!
50. Drinking: TOFUTTI!
52. Online: TOFUT- er, I mean, nexopia
53. Listening To: the tv
54. Thinking About: why am i typing this
55. Wanting: to win the lottery
56. Watching: my self age
57. Wearing: clothing
FUTURE
58. Want Kids: sure
59. Want To Get Married: why not
60. Careers In Mind: artist
WHICH IS BETTER (OPP. SEX)
67. Cute Or Sexy: Cute
68. Lips Or Eyes: Eyes
69. Hugs Or Kisses: why seperate the 2?
70. Short Or Tall: Tall, just not taller than me
71. Easygoing Or Serious: I like a girl who can relax
72. Romantic Or Spontaneous: i like both
73. Fatty Or Thin: THIN
74. Quiet Or Loud: I like noise
75. Hook-up Or Relationship: I'm no man-whore
76. Sweet Or Caring: sweet is nice
77. Trouble Maker Or Hesitant One: Trouble Maker deffinatley
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
89. God: yeah
90. Miracles: well, i am one, look at me, seriously
91. Love At First Sight: meh
92. Ghosts: I plan to haunt someone when I'm dead
93. Aliens: not really
94. Soul Mates: sure
95. Heaven: maybe
96. Hell: maybe
98. Kissing On The First Date: Hell Yeah
99. Horoscopes: sometimes
TRUTHFULLY
100. Is There Someone You Want But Can't Have: Yeah
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FRIENDS
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BASICS
| Height: | 184 cm - 188 cm (6'1" - 6'2") |
| Weight: | 69 Kg - 73 Kg (151 lbs - 160 lbs) |
| Birthday: | December 05, 1990 |
| Sexual Orientation: | Heterosexual |
| Dating: | Single |
| Living Situation: | Living with parents/relatives |
| Location: | Calgary, Alberta, Canada |
| Join Date: | 12:21pm | Jan 05, '07 |
| Profile Updated: | 12:59am | Jul 06, '07 |
INTERESTS
| Movies: | Action, Comedy, Documentaries, Drama, Horror, Independent, Psychological Thrillers |
| Art: | Doodling, Drawing, Graphic Design, Painting, Photography, Sculpture, Writing |
| Animals/Pets: | Cats |
| Cars: | Imports |
| Music: | Alternative, Indie, Industrial, Jazz, Punk, Rock, Acoustic |
| Sports: | Bicycling, Golf, Hiking, Jogging, Mountain Biking, Paintball, Rock Climbing, Sailing, Windsurfing |
| Activities: | Clubbing, Current Affairs, Driving, Gambling, Listening to music, Partying, Poker, Pool/Billiards, Reading, Shopping, Darts, Raving |
| Outdoor: | Camping, Hiking |
ABOUT ME
RANDOM
This is AMAZING!
Very Interesting!
What a Cool Mom
WTF!?!?!?!?!?