1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".
2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
4. You drink Pop, not Soda.
5. You know what a Mickey and 2-6 mean
6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars and no Americans.
7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
12. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and many more, are Canadians.
13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
14. You know what a touque is.
15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee"
17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages,but requires 6 pages for hockey.
18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.
19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan". (Sas-KAT-chew-w'n)
22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.
23. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than,"Huh?"
25. You actually understand these jokes!!
You Lace Up The Skates, Put On The Gloves,
Strap On The Helmet, And Walk On To The Ice And Nothing Else Matters.
It Doesn't Matter That You Failed A Test, Your Girl Is Being A Bitch,
Or That You Got A Ticket On The Way There...
You're World Is absolutely Perfect For The Next Couple Hours.
Here's To Faceoffs, Goals, Assists, Overtime, GWG's,Living On The Road, Cold Rinks, Early Mornings, Break Aways, Going Top Cheese, Countless Hours Of Practice, Bag Skates, Puking,
Thousands Of Dollars, Dangling D-Men, End To End Rushes,
Big Hits, Broken Twigs, New Kicks, Packing Bombs,
Dropping The Mits, Hockey Hair, Wheelin' Broads, Rookie Parties,
Coaches Adding The Letter "Y" To The End Of Everyone's Last Name,
The Word "Fuck", Pick Up, Packing A Dip, Under Aged Drinking,
Tape To Tape Sauce, Let Downs, Miracles And Most Of All -
The Game Of Hockey. Why?
Why Do We Skate Back And Forth Night After Night?
Skating So Hard We Throw Up.
Skating So Hard Your Heart Beat Rings In Your Head,
While Your Lungs Are Grasping For Air.
Late Nights, Early Mornings, Friday Nights, Saturday Evenings,
Broken Bones, Torn Muscles And Deep Bruises.
We Skate Through It All. Because We Live Off Our Adrenaline,
Because The Game Frees Your Spirit,
Because The Party In The Locker Room Is Second To None,
Because You're Invincible Once You Step On The Ice,
Because One Shot Can Make You Smile All Night.
Sniping The Twine, Backy Shelf, Bar And In, The Rattling Of The Boards,
The Feel Of The Puck,
And Skates Carving Into The Ice Is A Rhythm To Live
By, Because It's Possible To Skate Fast Enough To Leave All Your Worries Behind.
Sweat Is The Cologne Of Our Accomplishment.
Why? Why Would Someone Push Themselves
So Hard The Uneducated Pussies Always Ask?
House League, A, AA, AAA, Jr. B, Jr. A, CHL, US College, Pro....
It's Never Been For The Fucking Money. It's Not For The Girls, And It's Not For The Fame.
It's for "The Boys" who Play Because We Fucking Love It!!
The best kind of person in the world.
The cockiest, dirtiest most irresponsible group of athletes in the universe.
Will fuck any broad in this world and come back and tell all his buddies about it.
Will booze at least 2 times a week and pretend they are still dedicated.
Not afraid to live the dream until the are like 35 then realize they never made it anywhere.
Ladies love us.Guys want to be us. We are the soul of the universe.
Bow down to our greatness....WE ARE HOCKEY PLAYERS
; MISSES ;
Emo's, Bitches, Assholes, being bored,
being bored, traveling, nerds, No money , pain.
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Reasons to date a hockey player
1. Always wear protection
2. Have great hands
3. Are used to scoring
4. Have great stamina
5. Find the opening and get it in
6. Never miss the target
7. Know how to use our wood
8. Have long sticks
9. Know when to play rough
10. We're bigger than everyone
11.Baseball Players Bang Balls As Hard As They Can
12.Other Athletes Only Play With There Own Balls
, pain.