Ok, so.....

Since the last entry life got way worse there for a while, but while not everyone gets someone coming to save them.... and, i got just that.

A certain someone came flying from another country to save my life(both literally and metaphorically) and it was worth more than my life was worth anything more to me than i thought life was even worth.

I spend weeks dwelling in shit that really didn't matter at all, and then someone came and picked me up, at one of my worst times, when i needed it the most, and helped lift me up.

I have moved. To somewhere amazing. Somewhere that i never thought could be the place for me. I have officially made a change, to a place i only ever wanted to go on vacation to, and have completely started my life again, starting from the bottom up.

I never thought that i could have the power or strength. The most amazing thing that ever could happen to me, in fact did. I can thank a move to a different place, that was completely unexpected. I went away for a, MAYBE 2 week long vacation, and within 5 days had found a job, a place to live, and for once in a very long time, HAPPINESS!!!!!

I don't think i've been this happy since i was about, 8 years old? Maybe?

Lately the worst it was before i left was i was dating what SEEMED to be an incredible guy, but the second i moved in with him, he stopped talking to me. And he considered no communication what-so-ever to be us "getting along perfectly". I moved out within a month of moving in for reasons such as THAT....(and) the fact that he didn't believe that the sexual assault that had happened not months before, and the most resent sexual harassment from a ridiculously forward boss, were all, in fact, not true. They were all things that DID scar me and will haunt me for the rest of my life. But he, the asshole who "did no wrong," said that i was lying simply to get attention.


Now, why would i have taken the time to go to the police? taken the time to go to the emergency to get probed at like some creature from another planet? Get my boss arrested? I know for some people that wouldn't be too much time to get that much attention. But for me...... i never wanted that much. I don't like that much.

Regardless, he went crazy after i told him i was moving out with less than a months notice. I felt it was the best thing i ever could have done. But after i moved he continued to be crazy, with borderline stalking methods.

I went on vacatoin. To Alberta. No plans to stay, but no plans on going back. It was the BEST thing i've ever done in my entire LIFE!

Just physically moving to a place where no one knew me, and they only knew what i told them was so refreshing.
I'd never imagined a place that looks like a postcard in every direction. Not once. People have always told me that victoria is the most beautful place in the world. I'm sorry but FUCK THAT! Fuck that. Yeah its gorgeous, but it clearly wasn't the place for me.... it was killing me.

NOW i have an amazing man in my life and great friends.... Nothing worth complaining about. A job I have always loved- hated the boss and now, THATS even different. I can't believe the person i've become.

I feel the need to write all this down, because i went back lately, to visit with family and friends, to "home". But nothing i could do, or anyone could do about the feelings i had left inside. Just bad memories. Bad decisions. Bad Luck. Bad Life.

I can't help but thank, love and appreciate everyone i've met here in the new place that i call home. Thank you for helping me become the person i could see inside but could never help out. You all have ment the world to me and i never would have been able to do it without you.

So now its been a couple of weeks since i wrote that last entry and things seem to be more.... uh... optimistic?

Things seem to be better, a little at leased.

More changes to come, but none shall be revieled until they are un-jinx-able, so i'll keep you posted(Whoever nay read this, because i highly doubt anyone is...) Yay wasting voice into cyber-space.

Good Night world. I'll kick your butt again tomorrow, rest up.

My life has had such an upheaval lately.

Me and Glen are broken up now for good and things seem to be good, but i don't really know how to be alone. I get so lonely, and have no idea things i can do alone.

I'm still working at the collection agency- surprisingly.

I've been so depressed lately, its really bunk. So much silence, i think i'm going insane. Seems i don't have many friends anymore, and thus makes it more lonely. I hate growing up and away/appart from people. Growing up sucks.

My cell phone will be in my name this month, and for the first time in my life (besides rent) i'll be paying my own bill.

I've been driving a lot, to try and clear my head, and it works temp but not forever(or i'd run out of gas)

I think i'm going to move away from this island. Can't stay here for sure.

Ready to fly away....

So i thought i was doing so well! i was getting all my modeling stuff together. had a shoot booked for this weekend and next weekend, both paid, plus a part in a short film. now i don't have a job so these little side jobs are what are paying the bills.

i haven't bought a pack of smokes since like... thursday? i can't afford it.

THATS how broke i am.

well i just had the photographer cancelle on me... and i know it was only like 150$ and i had to go to van, but thats money i don't have!!!

Now i don't get to see jessie, or smoke.... so if anyone knows of like... a job i can get or something, modeling or otherwise, let me know!!!!

other than that...

i'm kinda seeing Glen again. We're back to the "I Love You's" so thats always nice.

just really stressed lately.... i need a vacation. i'm thinking with my tax return, just going. don't know where. just leave.


thats it.

so my ribs have been hurting outragiously for the last couple of days. i went to the doctor, and apparently i have strained the cartilege in my rib cage. he didn't give me any pain killers or anything.

IT HURTS TO BREATHE! it hurts to walk. it hurts to burp. it just hurts.

if anyone can think of anything to make me feel better, please let me know. it would be much appriciated.

so this is why i am now single... please tell me if this makes sence....

please take this seriously i need some help guys....

i had some people over one day like paul(co-worker), christian(co-worker) and jenn(bestfriend) over for some beers one day and my bf(glen) came over to get his keys cause we had already got into a big fight but he saw paul there and just FLIPPED OUTcause he totally thought we had slept together because jenn came over when me and paul had gone out to get beer and my bf works at the end of my streeet so she went to see if he knew where we wentbut he has seen us going inside my hosue so he thought i had just not answered the door cause we were having sex but i like really love this guy right? so i could NEVER do antying like that ever

this is why he broke up with me... does this make sence to you?

i'm lonely....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89V7hvEmSD8


my ringtone.... and a great video

and who took care of you when you got your wisedome teeth out???


and who cheated on WHOME?!?!

You're a prick.

so you can message me as much as you like to flirt or whatnot.... but if i message you with an honest oppinion, you block me..... kinda harsh......

get over yourself.

No love for me to take with me huh?
thats kinda harsh.....

PLEASE
no computer while i'm gone.... and i will miss you all...

i love you.

so i'm going away on the 1st, and i wont be compute-able so i think that if you love me, that you should leave me some love to take with me.....

my boyfriend is mad at me.....
my ex messaged me.....
andi'm not allowed to hang out with my other ex.... one of the best FRIENDS i've ever had....

i'm not in the best mood.

i urge anyone who is gay or gay friendly to go to this persons' page and leave a comment. all her profile says is "all gay people should be shot."

*sexi.bitch

thats hella harsh.

please.

i need someone with a camera to go on a day adventure with me.... someone that takes good pics.... there are no new pics of me... and i want some......


HELP ME!