First off, yes, I watched them. In a debate between my gamer enthusiasm and my melancholy cynicism towards human beings in general, I wasn't sure whether or not I was willing to subject myself to watching douchebags cheer for the next UFC bullshit while being bombarded with ads for Mountain Dew, Burger King, and Axe Bodyspray. But unfortunately, it seems my gamer desires outweigh whatever strength my moral conscience has.... that's comforting.
Simply put though, those awards sucked. I don't really care about who won. That's all opinion-based and arbitrary conjecture. Whatever. Uncharted 2 beat Batman and Assassin's Creed 2. That's fine. I'm sure it's a fine game. Although the simple fact that Modern Warfare 2 wasn't receiving awards left and right is pretty astounding (and comforting), as well as giving Rocksteady the Best Studio award for Batman. Maybe there is some hope for humanity afterall... of course that could just be sleep deprivation talking.
But beyond the meaningless awards, those announcements were pretty much shit.
Prince of Persia... I loved the last-gen games, and in a bitter-sweet way, was glad they felt comfortable with just laying that storyline to rest. And while flawed in some ways, I loved the new direction with their last game. It had such a new flair, new personality, new reason to care. It was a new exploration, and that's the only way you can move forward - experimentation. But that video for the new game just looked like generic Prince of Persia imagery. I love the franchise, but fuck, do something new and different, or continue on with their new style. When last I checked, they ended that last game on a cliffhanger. Finish THAT plotline, why don't you? Don't go back to the veteran to fight your new war. He's in retirement dammit, let him die in peace. He's earned it.
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2... The last game was alright. Buggy, unpolished, but they were onto something cool. And if there was one reason to truly love that game, it was its story. The game tied up the two trilogies in an epic, exciting way. And it made a character that I initially assumed wouldn't be able to hold much significance in the overall mythos, truly powerful, and in fact he ended up having one of the most heroic and influential roles in the series. So to just say he's still alive, and that's that feels like it cheapens his death at the end of the first game, and takes meaning away from his selfless sacrifice.
Tron - flashy, miniscule clips of neon lights. Neat......
UFC 2010.....ugh...........
Medal of Honor - a war-time military FPS....wow... fucking amazing. You have me floored with your innovations.
Spec Ops: The Line - ...didn't that series used to be terrible? Well this looked KINDA cool actually. But I probably won't bother. Again... another military war-time shooter.
Halo Reach - aaaaaaaaand another CG trailer for another self-righteous and incredibly pretentious Halo game. How awesome. On the plus side, the Halo soundtrack is always really cool.
and Batman: Arkham Asylum 2.... okay I'll admit, I'm totally stoked. Arkham Asylum was incredible. I just hope they don't retread TOO much old ground thematically. And honestly, part of the joy in that game was slowly unlocking more about the Batman mythos. To just do that again would just feel redundant. I mean I don't want to read character profiles on Maxie Zeus AGAIN. And even then, it doesn't look like we'd necessarily be in Arkham, so where's the justification in having that stuff? What, we're going to find audio tapes on some of the OTHER villains this time? Just take your time with this one guys. Don't rush it. Develop it in the right, natural ways. Explore new ground, but advance your first effort as well. I have faith Rocksteady. You deserved that Best Studio award. You did what no one else has done in over 15 years - you've made a GOOD Batman game.... hell, a GREAT Batman game. Hell, a fucking great game.
All in all, way too much CG, alot of shite...lame show. Not that I should've expected much from Spike. With promos for their new douchebaggy shows like that lame college football one and horrible on-stage banter, as well as lonely horndogs hooting at Olivia Wilde, I can't really say this was a show intended for me as much as it was for the Madden-loving Spike TV demographic.
But man... if this is speaking to the demographic, then I am gonna go cry myself to sleep. Three probably drunken guys coming out with a bunch of cheerleaders who want nothing but to "get away from all these nerds" to promote their new show about how they like to drink and party in-between bouts of football? Fuuuuunnnn.... Or what about the 'iced tipped' chachi douches with two very prissy girls who kinda don't want to be there, but for some reason, are presenting with Mike Tyson? Speaking of which, why the hell were they presenting WITH Mike Tyson? Can't Tyson hold his own weight? Is he not big enough anymore? He has to be subjected to presenting an award with these losers? To be fair, he did make fun of them... which was very respectable in my eyes. Good job, Mikey.
All this stuff bugged me from a strictly social point of view. These are clearly not my people. My people are slick millionaires or artists who make it big by justifying their nonsensical artwork with sarcastic and witty remarks. And dorks. But what DISTURBS me is that these awards are being shown around the WORLD for the first time this year. So that's the WORLD'S received message from this side of the pond. I already don't like Spike TV, but I was okay with it being strictly local. But to see it go global on this scale hurts my soul. We were able to contain this sad little subculture within our own borders. But the cursed strengths of our beloved Capitalism have poisoned our moral structure, and somehow this shit is allowed to be let out of the cage.
Is this why western countries get such a bad rep? I doubt this is helping. No wonder the Middle-East hates America so much. I'd probably hate this stuff more if I hadn't been raised in it. I think it's an association rule or something. But man, if we in Canada get thrown in WITH them, we're boned.
My depression furthered when the category for Independent Game of the Year was prese -- DO THE DEW!!!!!! Oh I'm sorry, what? Oh yes, the Independent Game award was hijacked by corporate sponsorship. Isn't that the opposite of what indie games are all about? I mean I'd hate to have won that award, only to see 'DO THE DEW' on my trophy, next to my name. That would surely destroy whatever soul I have.
I'm pretty sure this is the dawn of the apocalypse. With this qualifying for global media, with the terrible sandwiching of corporate scumhounds cramming ads down your throat, even on awards based off of achievement, and with Megan Fox winning an award for Best Female Voice Actor, I'm pretty sure I had seen nearly an hour of purely satanic worship. The end of the world is nigh, but maybe not with the four horsemen, or with fire coming down from the sky. Instead, with our own shame that this is what we've been reduced to. This representation of a media I love is embarrassing. It really MUST be the Apocalypse. Except the four horsemen are all execs at Activision. And the balls of fire hailing from the sky are brought to you by Burger King.
But people still watch this stuff. And people still gobble this shit up. And so I guess this just leaves me to continue to sit in this paused realization that I am better than everyone. But considering everyone's dumb, I can't give myself TOO much praise. It's all relative, ya see......
