is tired of being pregnant.
hmm, its like 3 in the morning and i can't sleep, waiting for Justin to come home, again.
Seems all i do is wait for him, kinda stupid. but hey what can you do.
Tomorrow is my ultra sound and i cant wait.
I just wanna make sure the kids are ok, this pregnancy is kinda rocky. So we have to take every precaution. which is kinda gay.
My twins are called mono-mono. Which means they share the same sac and same placenta. Kinda not cool. The doctor says that means that one might eat, and one might not. not cool at all. That means theres a higher chance that only one of my kids might make it. Not cool at all.
And then to top it off, my stupid uterus is all not what its supposed to be, Its heart shaped. Which is stupid, now the kids dont have enough room, how gay.
so now what? Wait til im 28 weeks, then im in the clear. but im almost half way there. so just a little bit longer, which will seem like forever.
But at 34 weeks, there gonna take my kids out, regardless. they have too. I'll go into premature labour anyways, but oh well. They know whats best, ill have to stay in edmonton for awhile with the kids when there born, but thats ok too.
Im prepared to do it. So they will most likely be here before Christmas. which is ok too. As long as they get here safe.
so other than that, just specialist appts, and doc appts. and what not. and waititng. stupid waiting.
50 Really Stupid Questions you could probably care less about, and didn't really need to know.
1. Look out the window. what's the most interesting thing you see? Nothing, its too dark.
2. Last beverage you consumed? Iced Tea
4. Explain why you last threw up? Morning sickness
5. What is the equation for the Pythagorean theorem? a2+b2=c2
6. Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls? Kinda, yeah.
7. What kind of car does your father drive?-- a mini van
8. Do you like to play scrabble? sometimes, it can be fun
9. Where did you attend jr . high school? Holy redeemer
10. favorite scent? Peach
11. Who can you tell absolutely everything to: Jenn, Jackie.
12. Last television program you watched? hmm, i dont remember and it was only last night.
13. Spell your name without vowels: Jrdn
14. What is the last hair product you used? Herble essence shampoo and conditoner
15. Does your family own any boats:no.lol.
16. Something you can't live without? friends
17. Do you wear flip-flops constantly? yeah
19. Do you have air conditioning in your room? haha no.
20. Have you ever kissed your dog?haha no.
21. Where were you when 9/11 happened? home and then school.
22. How often do you read books? sometimes, but i just finished one.
23. Do you like James Blunt? sometimes.
24. Describe the computer you are currently using? Jenns
25. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? 20 minutes somtimes longer.
26. Will you donate your organs after you pass: Yeah
27. Have you been outside of the Canada? No.
28. Would you ever get your nipples pierced? no
29. What are you looking forward to? my next ultra sound.
30. Last text you received on your mobile? not sure.
31. What is the last bill you payed? Rent.lol.
33. Last movie you watched? My best friends wedding.
34. Which of your friends lives closest to you?Jenn, downstairs.
35. what cd is in your stereo? none.
36. Do you have a crush on anyone? Justin?
37. What did you do last night? watch t.v
38. Do you wish at 11:11? of course.
39. Do you wear contacts or glasses? glasses
40. Last person you ditched class with? hmmm, jenn maybe>
41. Do you find yourself attractive? kinda.
42. Who called you last? Daphne.
43. What annoys you? alot of thnigs, Justin
44. Are you forgetful? sometimes.
45. Next vacation you're going on? I dont even know.
46. Do you play any instruments? No.
47. Last thing that made you really laugh? telling jackie a story.
48. Do you have any piercings? not anymore. stupid justin
49. Can you roll your 'r's? no.
50. If you could go back and start your life over, would you do it the same? yeah,
wow, today im 12 weeks and 1 day.
i have a long way to go.
Crazy, but we'll take it one day at a time.
and pretty soon, just after Christmas, i'll have two beautiful babies.
and i can't wait. Im pretty excited now.
My next ultra sound is on the 14th of July, woot.woot.
and i see the specialist on Saturday.
wow, but oh well.
Some complication so far, but its ok. I'll deal.
wow, its been awhile since i wrote in here, a long time really.
Well things are ok, ive been crying lots and thinking lots, but its A-ok now.
Everything is gonna be ok.
Garrett is moving into my house, maybe probablyt though, ive been waiting for him to move back home for a long time, for like ever, and man do i ever want him to come home, like i miss him so much so so so so much, you have no idea.
but everyone one at my house says its ok for him to come live with us, everyone loves Garrett and if you dont know him then you'll lkove him anyways well cause hes amazing and everyone loves him, but im gonig to bear lake now, so i ahve to go ,
ill write more later about everything.
oh wow what a night eh?
didnt even make any money at work tonight, how fucking lame ok.
Casey owes me twenty for the drins he ordered but never paid for like fuck fuck fuck
it was just a bad night, it wasnt really busy at all, i hate break up for that reason.
and like ugh, who orders drinks when they dont have any money.
on the bright side, i got like 6 free shots, lol.
that was kimda fun, i liked it.
on the even brighter side, i saw shaun. man i havent seen him in years, im talking like 2 yearsoh my crazy
and we were just talking about him today too, i was like holy fuck
that made my night for sure and he remembered me too which was kinda cool, alot of fun fun fun
oh my lol
but like it was a shitty night, and i still have to finish my letter to troy so i can send it sunday night so that it goes out monday morning and i did get some pictures developed for him, which is good. i like pictures, for the most part that is.only when i look good.
so when im on my way to work, or when im going out.
perfect times for pictures.lol.
other than that im tired, kinda long day and im goona finish my letter and ugh, have a shower and get the hell to bed.
good night.
Wrath
Who did you last get fusterated/angry with? probably Justin, who else.lol.
Who was the last person who got really fusterated/angry at you? hmm, im not sure, probably work.lol
What is your pet peeve?chewing with your mouth open.
stupid drivers, boys not putting the toilet seat down, thats a problem in our house.
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? umm it depends on what it is.
Who do you hate/dislike the most right now? hmm, i dont know.
Sloth
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't? maybe laundry lol. clean my huse.lol.
What is the latest you've ever woken up? like 6 pm lol. i love sleep.
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? Leanne
Name your last excuse? " my grandma is in the hospital, i cant come to work"
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Yeah.. all the time, i love infomercials.
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this mornin?none, i didnt even set an alarm, i havent set an alarm since i worked at petro.
Gluttony
What is your all-time favorite beverage of choice? Pepsi.
Are you a meat eater?Yep.
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one event? haha i dont even know.
Have you ever gotten stoned/high, if yes what were your munchiies? haha yes and i love chips.lol.
Do you enjoy candy and sweets? yup for the most part
Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? sweet
Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"? eww no,sickly
Greed
How many credit cards do you own? None, but i want one.lol.
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? probably buy a house and a car, help my parents with some stuff,
Would you rather be rich or famous? neither
Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks? probably
Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of? Graduated
What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of? Graduated
What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life? travel, have a career
Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Nope.
Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? nope not that i recall
Have you ever cheated to get a better score? yeah
Have you ever cheated and got caught? haha yeah
What did you do today that you're proud of? nothing
Lust
Have you ever thought that you may be in 'love'?sure have. And i am in love right now.
Have you ever been caught staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation? lol nope
What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice? eyes
Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out)? of course
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? no, but i met some in the city
Would you ever want to be a member of the opposite sex? maybe just for a day to see what it like
Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Cars.
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? hmm, im not sure
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be? no one, id stay as me.
Have you ever been cheated on? yep
Are you missing someone? of course
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? always
What personality trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Patience, or not having to take everything to heart
So pretty much i had the day off,woot woot.
I love it. i got alot dont today, i started my laundry that ive been putting off for like way to long.
I got my next letter to troy written and sent already and same for my visiting forms. which should of eebn done along time ago, like but its done now, thank god.
i cant wait til i can go and see my "Larry" im so fucking excited, you have no idea.
It meant so much to me that i got to talk to him today. For a long time. ONly i wanted to cry when he said "Larry: for me. it made me kinda sad, cause i do really miss him alot,actually way more than i thought i would. hes my best friend and i dont think he should be in jail at all.
I realise he did some bad things, but like really hes a good person and hes my best buddy and i miss him
But november 6 he gets out.
and im countin down the days, i cant wait. it seems like a long ways away but really, it is.
its gonna take forever and i now it but like one day at a time, and it cant be that bad.
It probably seems like even longer for him.
other than that, i didnt do a whole lot, Justin and tom made breakfast woot woot or brunch i should saY it was good, i loved it lol.
and we were gonna watch the calgary game, but our stupid cable is being fucking gay and we cant watch it
but dont worry Jay will keep us posted cause for one Justin really wnats them to win and two theres a fourty on the line.
and if calgary wins i lose a fourty.
that would be say
and other than that im waiting for Justin and tom to cook supper
were havin ham and scalloped potatoes.
woot woot;
Yeah so pretty much, i still work alot.
Liquor store and Stock yards.
woot,woot.
I make ok tips some nights, thursdays are better by far.
and i did shooters for the first time on Saturday cause nobody else showed up. I like shooters. there fun, and i made way more tips on shooters than i did serving.lol.
oh we'll see how it goes, i dont mind it. i get to go dancing sometimes when im not busy thats fun lol.
And pretty much all i do is work and come home, chill our for a bit sometimes watch a movie, sometimes play quitar hero, sit around and do nothing.lol.
and oh by the way my cell is cut off, so call my house if you need me, If im not home, ill be at work and call you back when i get home, if os be it.
hmm, my step mommy finally had her baby.
I got a baby sister.woot woot. caleigh Janette.
shes pretty, shes beautiful, i love her. oh my.
and now my real mom is all prego. oh god. anorther one, her tenth one guys, you'd think she'd learn after 5 maybe or 6 no she had to go anf get pregnant again. oh god.
it wont last long, she wont be able to keep it, she cant take care of any of her kidss. she never has been able too. ever. so i dont get it. she should like not be able to have kids, people like that should not be blessed with the ability of having kids. her kids dereve better then that, but oh well. she might never learn one day, but i know shes going to hell.
And her and my step dad can just go away, im tired of bullshit. i dont need it in my life at all, im finally doing ok, on my own keeping a job and like i wanna make something of my self and she has to keep darkening my life,ugh.sometimes i just get so frustrated.
I miss some people from school. ive decided this recently.
i miss going to school to actually.i miss alot of things too.
but im doing ok, and thats all thats matters. really.
Pretty much i quit my job at Petro.
And im gonna be ful time at the liquor store.
and part time if it works out at stockyards.
so only two jobs now,wootwoot.
maybe ill only have to work at one.
but i wanna work at stock yards too, good tips. really good tips.
so we'll see what happens i guess.
ya know.
and yeah everything else is pretty much ok.
im just doing laundry it sucks ass but what ever its getting done done done.
thinkingh alot lately.
last night i almost broke down.
It just feels like i have to beg him to spend time with me, and i shouldnt have to.
and than i feel stupid when i get mad and he asks whats wrong and i tell him, like i had to text him last night for him to understand that i just wanna spend time with him. yes we live together and i see him all the time. but we dont ever do anything.
we dont ever just watch a movie with out sleeping, or do things alone. I hate watching him drink all the time when i couldnt.
But now i can, no big deal. I dont have to work early anymore. just in the afternoons so its ok i guess, ill be able to go and party like he does all the time. not that i want to, but the option is there,ya know.
so basically today i just thought about alot of shit.
i mean alot of shit, like everything.
i was kinda cleaning at work and thinking, so work kinda went by fast. i guess.
well ill be getting the keys to the liquor store soon, when lynsi is done, i guess thats a good thing.
and if shit keeps going the way its going at petro i wont wanna stay much longer, but i like the idea of being able to have money when ever i want kinda thing. and having money all the time from having two jobs, it sucks cause i have no life and i never get to spend time with justin ever or any of my friends for that fact it suks. but like ill have money and ill be able to do what ever i want but i just wont have time for awhile.....
John hired a new manager for the store but i dont like that idea, if anything i should of got jenns old job and pay if not more, and like we would of been fine.
he wont let me hire anyone so the store can save money cause he's sheap but he'll go and hire some manager lady who he's probably paying way more, make any sense to you, no. me either. i dont get it.
I tried to make Kraft dinner for me and manz tonight but like for some reason it didnt work out, my KD is always AMAZING!! and for some reason it tasted funny so manz is making rice, mmmm i love it.
and we finally got cable and internet so we have Joeys laptop. its sweet. its not as boring att my house anymore. NOT THAT IM EVEN HOME TO ENJOY IT.LOL.
not cool.not cool. but ever since i went back to the doctor ive been ok, ive been taking all my medicine and what not and my stomache doesnt hurt anymore. so thats good.lol. way better.
BIGGEST GIRL SURVEY EVER
don't be shy, fill it all out!
1. Do you sleep in your bra? Sometimes. but not usually.
2. Have you kissed any one on your friends list? Yes.haha i have
3. Are you happy with your looks? Sometimes. generally yeah i guess i am.
4. Do you enjoy drama? No. not at all, but i put up with it.
5. Are you a girly girl? kinda.lol. my room is girly. thanks to justin lol.
6. Who was the last person you hugged? Justin, this morning after i got home from work.
7.Small or large purses? Both. but i like bigger purses.
8. Are you short? Yepp. kinda lol.
9. Do you like someone? Yepp.
10. What would you do if someone smacked your butt? probably turn around depending on who it was decides how i would handle it.
11. Do you care if your socks are dirty? Yepp. i hate dirty socks. i change my socks sometimes three times a day.
12. Do you think you’re conceited? Yes, I really can be. im more so when i drink lol.
13. Do you dress up on Halloween? yeah i do.lol.
14. Are you double jointed? No. well my arms kinda are.
15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? hmm, on my floor, half way in my closes half way out my bedroom door.lol.
16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours? Yeah justin lol.
17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you? Oh probably, who knows it edson. who cares even i dont.
18. Do you call anybody by their last name? Well sometimes when im talking to someone about justin yeah cause everyone calals him Dzus.
20. How many guys will read this just because of the subject? Dont know.
[x] I do wear make up.
[x] i have cried in a movie theater.
[x I can’t put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[x] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[x] I love to laugh.
[ ] I like death/grind/black metal.
[x] I like rap.
[ ] I like techno.
[x] I like country.
[x] I carry a purse
[x] I’d be lost without my computer
[ ] own a Spice Girls CD.
[ ] own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own a boy band CD.
[x] I get bored watching football.
[ ] I’ve never been called a spoiled brat.
[x] Guys are confusing
[x] I’ve been called a bad influence.
[x] My friends are the best.
[x] I have a piercing other then my ears.
COME ON LADIES, BE TRUTHFUL!
1. What color is your bra that your wearing? Pink
2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys? dark haired but both works.
3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy? Not right at this moment but i bet as soon as hes done work he'll frustrate me lol.
4. Do you have a best friend? Yepp.
5. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yepp.
6. Have you ever thought of having plastic sugery? No.
7. Do you like your life? Right now its ok, im making it. im getting by. its all good.
8. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you? No, i dont think so. well when i was in grade 5 shane dumped me for ayla, but no biggie.
9.Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on? Yeah lol.
10. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys? Boys.
11. How long have you had Nexopia? like three years atleast.
12. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? HAHA, Yes.
13. What are your biggest fears? being alone, the dark.
14. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yepp.
15. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind? All the time.
16. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater always a cheater"? I used to, but no everyon is the same.
17. Have you ever had a good feeling about something? Yepp.
18. Do you ever wish you were famous? No.
19. Are you currently missing someone? Yepp.
THIS GUY OR THAT GUY?
cowboy or gangster? Gangster
preppy or punk/goth? Prep. .
face or body? face
sweet or sexy? sweet
city-slicker or rural guy? City
contact or glasses? Contacts.
QUESTIONS
Eyeliner or Mascara? Eyeliner.
Pumps or flats? flats
Skirts or pants? pants
Socks or leggings? socks.
Hoodies or jackets? hoodie
Heels or sneakers? sneaker
Straight or curly hair? curly
Hoop or dangling earrings? Dangly.
White or black? white.
Diet or regular sodas? regular
Pearls or diamonds? diamonds.
Ipod or cell phone? cell.
Friends or family? Both.
Lip gloss or lip stick? Lip gloss. .
Manicure or pedicures? Manicure
Tank tops or sweaters?sweater
Love or peace? love.
IN A GUY...
Funny or Serious? Both.
Cute or Hot? cute
Dark Eyes or Light Eyes? both.
Long Hair or Short Hair? short.
Curly Hair or Straight hair? straight.
Clean-cut or Rough? clean cut.
Good Dancer or Good Singer? dancer.
Basketball Player or Football Player? basketball.
Jock or Rebel? rebel..
Smoker or Non-smoker? smoker.
Drunk or Sober ? sober.
Druggie or Clean? Clean
Has a Motorcycle or Has a Sports Car? Car
Pretty much its all gay gay gay gay gay
i hate beign fucking sick
i hate having a stupid ucler
its gay it hurts
and im missing way to much work. way to much it sucks.
well im just gonna ahve to tough it out.
tomorrow i work at both places.
hopefully ill be ok. i need to make a decision.
cause i could quit petro and get full time at the liquor store if i want, but who knows.
i like my job at petro i hate my bosses, but i like ym job nonetheless.
and im n ot to sure if i actually like the liquor store, theres to many rules and regulations and what not.
and im just not sure if i like it, yeah it pays way more, but like i dont wanan work there just for the money, ill wanna quit right away so i dont know.
maybe for now ill just keep both jobs, and get realaly tired and even more stressed out.
But its getting close to baby time.
If they would just pop out those kids any day now. like im tired of waiting. im to excited, lol.
other then that, im ok. I think.
Its going, maybe just maybe.
