Lawl, I haven't posted a blog in fucking forever... Fuck, I haven't used this site in forever. xD But yea, I'm just bored, trying to kill time, hoping that something better decides to happen. Feeling far too complacent, something is definately missing. I have a couple of ideas what might be missing, but I must investigate them more....

Peace Out

I have only one thing to say regarding this. I am fuckin' happy he's dead. Sure, he was cool back when he was black. Then he changed for the worst, and I'm not going to go into all the details, but yea. I'm really fuckin' happy he's dead, shoulda happend sooner.

I'm bored, tired, and need to shower. And, apparently somehow my floor is so dirty my feet are black. I have no fucking clue how that works, since I cleaned it the fuck up Saturday. Anyways.

Girl, sometimes, you drive me fucking crazy. You make me shake my head, roll my eyes, and sigh plenty. And yet, at the same time, it's what drives me towards you. It's why my bros are learning to adjust to you, and why you need to learn to adjust to them. It's why I'm here for you, and why I ain't going to just leave you over nothing, no matter fucking what. It'll take alot to take me away from you, and you know what exactly that is, so I'll say no more. Anyways, I'm rambling on, and am going to make a fool of myself if I keep on going, so I'mma cut this short. All I got to say is, you're one of the very few lights shining in my life right now, and you're what's keeping me going. NOW, time for that shower. See y'all bitches in the morning, maybe. And I'll for sure see you girl.

PEACE MOFOS.


....... <snores loudly></snores>

Yesterday was fucking amazing, then one little mistake made it all turn to fucking shit. I'm such a fucking shithead, not able to even recognize someone I saw a few hours beforehand. She managed to make me feel the happiest I've felt in... Fucking, I can't even remember when I last felt that happy. In only two fucking days she accomplished it. If I lose her because of my fucking stupid mistake, I swear... I don't know what I'll fucking do.

Like, fuck my uncle was so right. You can search and search all you like, and only find shit all. It's only when you stop looking, and are least expecting it, that something amazing can happen. I mean like, damn.

Right now, Grim has only... Three things to say. Yes.


FUCK Y'ALL HOES!!!

BITCHES AIN'T SHIT!!!

BUSS YO' HEAD!!!



That is all.

So, today at lunch I found out that a friend of mine way back when I was in Grade 10, Miss Madeleine Novak-Feist, passed away on Saturday. It was the first time I had ever cried infront of anyone ever since the one other time I had in Grade 8. This is a poem I wrote in her memory. Came up with a title finally. This is definately the most important poem I've ever written before. Anyways, here it is.



Beacon of Light

Miss Madeleine Novak-Feist
You were taken from us far too soon
God broke the mold
When you joined us in this world

In life, you were an amazing friend
No matter how down I felt
Your smile brightend up my life
It never once failed to light up my day

You helped me, more than you ever knew
That year was beyond hell for me
But you made it bearable, and enjoyable
Truth be told, I am who I am today because of you

The debt I owe you can never be repaid
I pray that you are now in a better, kinder place
It is true when they say the good die young
You are a shining example of that phrase

You have now trancended past this mortal life
Yet you live on, kept alive by our memories
You were a beautiful, amazing person, Mady
You will never, ever be forgotten by us
May your soul rest in eternal slumber

Yep, I've finished my Grad Ring design! Hopefully I'll order it on Thrusday, that way I'll be able to have it within 4-6 weeks theoretically, before Christmas. It'll cost only $520 total, with an actual diamond in each zero in the 2009 part, and a Limited Lifetime Warrenty which is uber.


Go lookit it at

http://shop.jostens.com/CommerceServices/share/sha​reMyRing.jsp?designId=432759

and lemme know what you think of it!



.... I know y'all think it's fuckin' pimp, 'cause it is!




Turetz Out

So, got rid of another bitch a couple nights ago. Oi, seems I always manage to find the worst possible chicks to go after. I must say the last one was one of the worst ones yet. Wish I could once, just once, find a good, solid girl. Something real and meaningful. Doubt it'll ever happen, though. Oh well

'least I got my booze and video games. Guess I'mma haveta stick with this Single life until something good comes along. To be honest, there's already one particular gal whom's caught my eye, only problem is, I doubt I've caught hers. Meh. Time for a beer.

Turetz out.

"It takes four quarters to make a dollar. It takes ten dimes to make a dollar. It takes twenty nickels to make a dollar. It takes one-hundred pennies to make a dollar. If you don't contribute anything, how will anything ever change?" - Turetz

Please, repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are gay. Love is not defined by color, creed, preference, gender (or lack thereof) or anything else except your own mind. Feel free to add your own story to the end.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the one working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the who isn't sure what she is. I am the who is rejected by her "best friends" because of a less-than-conventional crush.

I am the girl who suffers in fear of disappointing her Catholic parents and the God she loves so much.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."

This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of violence. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!

---IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS.

---IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE

Scene Kid
You know what sXe and hXc actually mean
You have an obsession with dinosaurs, robots, and Pokemon.
You idolize Jeffree Starr
People have called you scene before
You have mirror pics just not on here
You listen to a band that most people have never heard of.
You enjoy going to shows.
You only go to shows for the sake of going to shows, not the music.
Your hair is multicolored.
You accessorize your hair with kiddie barrettes and bows.
Fashion is one of the most important things that define you.
You mosh.
You often mix vintage with modern.
All of your friends are scene.
You dont know many of the people on your friends list in person
You enjoy photography
Total: 4

Prep
You pop the collar
You wont go near the Goths
You own at least one thing from a designer store.
You are very clean cut. I shave my legs, yes
You are squeamish.
People have called you preppy before.
You never leave the house without putting on cologne/perfume (Gogo Axe)
You know who LC is.
You watch shows like The OC, The Real World, The Hills, and Laguna Beach.
One favorite stores are Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle Outfitters.
You're afraid to set foot into Hot Topic.
You carry a purse wherever you go.
You will not take alcohol straight up.
You need to wake up at least an hour before school so you can get ready.
You do not leave the house without make up
You are content overall with how your life is going.
You constantly text.
Total: 1

Overachiever
You participate in a lot of extracurricular activities.
You have a job
You have gotten straight A's.
You are in mostly honors/IB/AP classes.
You do not procrastinate.
You have scored a 5 on an AP test.
You do not have very much down time.
You are very organized.
You always have a thousands of things going on at once.
You aspire to get into an Ivy League School.
In your extracurriculars, you hold leadership positions.
You are on Student Council.
You are/were the class president.
You are/were a class officer.
You are/were the Salutatorian for your class.
You are/were the Valedictorian for your class.
People have told you that you didnt have a life.
You are getting/have already received the IB Diploma.
You cry hysterically when you get anything lower than an A on anything.
Total: 2

Slacker
Your grades are slipping
You always wait until the last minute to do big projects.
You do a lot of things half-assed.
You are an overall procrastinator.
You tend to do your homework when you're watching TV.
It takes you ages to turn your job applications in.
You are often late to school
You dont turn in a lot of your work.
You spend the majority of your time watching TV
You sleep in past noon on the weekends and during the summer.
You could walk, but you'll just drive.
You have fallen asleep during class before.
Friends have called you lazy.
Life is hard when you lose the remote
When you hang out with your friends, the majority of your time is spent playing video games or doing something where neither of you have to stand up.
You have eaten an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting.
You have sat through an entire running marathon of a show before
Total: 12

Goth
Your wardrobe consists of mostly black things.
When you have the money, you shop at Hot Topic.
You think tattoos are hot.
You think odd piercings are hot.
You dont get along with your parents
You have wanted to dye or dyed your hair an exotic color.
You've styled your hair in liberty spikes.
Sometimes you ponder the meaning of life and death.
You like to write dark poetry.
You are into S&M (Light, not all of the heavy shit people usually associate it with. <.<).
You have a pair of oversized black pants.
At one point in your life, you liked Foamy, Happy Bunny, Emily the Strange, and the Happy Tree Friends.
You listen to grunge.
You have a messenger bag with buttons up and down the straps.
You smoke or have cigarettes.
You will only date other Goths.
You dont really give a shit what people think about you.
You like black makeup & nail polish best.
Total: 8

Nerd
You actually study for tests and quizzes.
You have had straight As.
You haven't had any luck with the opposite sex.
You are into WoW, Magic Cards, and Halo.
You overanalyze jokes to the point where they aren't funny anymore.
Your mom buys your clothes for you.
You actually answer the questions in class (Sometimes).
You sit front row center in all of your classes to get the best learning experience.
You miss school during the summer.
You wear your pants at your waist.
You prefer sweatpants to jeans.
You have a pocket protector in your shirt with pens and a calculator in it.
You let cute boys/girls take advantage of you & copy your homework in hopes of getting noticed.
You've noticed/fixed some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in this survey.
People cheat off you on tests.
Your parents pack your lunch for you every day.
You wear/should be wearing glasses.
Total: 6

Gangsta
You actually are black.
You know who the bloods and the crips are.
You wear doo-rags.
You actually grew up in the ghetto
You can freestyle (Working on it.).
You drive down the street blaring your music.
Your ride is pimped out with stereo boosts.
You can break dance.
You say nigga too much.
You talk too fast for people to understand you.
You are pretty chill with life.
You wear your jeans oversized and below your ass.
Old school rap is the best.
You know that Tupac will never die.
You wear bling
You have/want a custom grill.
You have custom rims on your tires.
You are actually in a gang.
You are always big pimpin'.
Total: 7

Emo
You often have trouble convincing people that you arent emo.
Your hair covers one eye.
You flip your hair
You have dark-rimmed glasses.
If youre a boy, people often complain about your pants being too tight.
You dont really smile too often.
You blog often.
You never smile in pictures
You listen to Thursday and/or Sunny Day Real Estate.
You're too much of a pussy to be a goth (Rofl @ that.).
You own a lot of band t-shirts
You only go for emo/scene boys and girls.
It doesnt take very much to make you cry
You have played all the Emo Games
You've worn black eyeliner before.
You own a bandana which you wear in your hair.
You have dark hair.
Total: 2

Skater
You own a skateboard.
You have been skateboarding since you were in grade school.
You have gotten many injuries from skateboarding.
You know that World Industries and Element arent just clothing lines.
You have TPed somebodys house before.
You have been yelled at for loitering.
You have gotten in trouble with the cops.
You listen to punk rock
Girls on skateboards are hot
You stick it to the man
You own/ed "skater" shoes.
You watch MTV2, not MTV.
You enjoy crude humor
Fuck school, lets do crazy shit
You have watched the X games.
You know that there are other pro skaters out there besides Tony Hawk.
During the summer you pretty much live at the skate park.
Hygiene does not concern you.
Total: 10

Hippie
You own a tie dye shirt and wear it regularly
You smoke pot or smoked.
You have long hair
You own more concert bootlegs than actual band CDs
You wear sandals
Make love, not war
You give the peace sign
People have called you a hippie before
You love nature, trees, etc..
That long hair you have.. you wash it less than 5 times a week
You own more jewelry than most girls.
Speaking of jewelry, you own more than 4 hemp necklaces
You have a lot of Rush, Pink Floyd, Yes, and The Who on your playlist
Yea, that bandana you own that you marked down in the "Emo" section..
You have 'dana pride too.. just not for emo's
Total: 3

Rocker
Def Leppard, Boston, Dire Straits, Poison and Rush top your playlists
You have/had a mullet
People have told you that you have a mullet.
You consider extremely ripped jeans and sleeveless shirts fashionable
You've been to, or are planning on going to more rock concerts than you can count
That bandana in both the "Emo" and "Hippie" sections.. you wear it around your neck.
You can never have enough 80s pop metal
Synthesizers and keyboards aren't lame
Total: 3

100 Truths

001. Real name - Matthew Steven Richard
002. Nickname - Turetz
003. Status - Single
004. Zodiac sign - No idea, couldn't care less.
005. Male or female - Male
006. Middle school - None, was home schooled
008. High school - Beaverbrook
010. Hair color - Brown
011. Long or short - Short
015. Are you health freak - Nope
016. Height - Around 5'10"
017. Do you have a crush on someone - It'sa possibility
018. Do you like yourself - Not all the time
019. Piercings - x6 in lobes, Industrial + 'brow
020. Tattoos - Have a ton planned, just need the cash...
021. Righty or lefty - Amnidextrous, although I prefer using one or the other for certain things, Right-Handed predominantly

FIRSTS :
022. First surgery - No idea, think it was stitches for a busted forehead..
023. First piercing - Ear
024. First bestfriend - No idea
025. First award - 1st Place Theory @ Music Camp
026. First sport you joined - Basketball
027. First pet - Cat
028. First vacation - Newfoundland I think...
029. First concert - Can't remember
030. First crush - Can't remember

CURRENTLY :
049. Eating - Nothing
050. Drinking - Nothing
052. I'm about to - Play video games
053. Listening to - Nothing, for once.
055. Waiting for - Canada Day

YOUR FUTURE :

058. Want kids? - Eventually somewhere down the road...
059. Want to get married? - When I meet the right person'n'the timings right...
060. Careers in mind? - Police Force, Military, or maybe Therapist/Psychologist..

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :

068. Lips or eyes - Eyes
069. Hugs or kisses - Both
070. Shorter or taller - Shorter
072. Romantic or spontaneous - Both
073. Nice stomach or nice arms - Couldn't care less
074. Sensitive or loud - A bit of both
075. Hook-up or relationship - Relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant - A bit of both

HAVE YOU EVER :
078. Kissed a stranger - No
079. Drank bubbles - Yep
080. Lost glasses/contacts -Nope
081. Ran away from home - Not really
084. Broken someone’s heart - Once or twice
085. Been arrested - Not yet, somehow
086. Turned someone down - Yep
087. Cried when someone died - No, actually
088. Liked a guy friend - Nope; I'm straight, thanks. xD

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself - Occasionally
090. Miracles - Yes
091. Love at first sight - I used to, but not really anymore
092. Heaven - Yes
093. Santa Claus - Nope
094. Sex on the first date - Well, it happend once before...
095. Kiss on the first date - Also has happend before.
096. Angels - Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - Yea
098. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? - Don't think so..
099. Do you believe in God? - Yes
100. Post as 100 Truths? - k.

I'm just tired. Plain sick and tired of all of this bullshit I always manage to find and deal with. It figures that the good times had to come to such an abrupt end. I already know what decision she is going to make, yet I'll continue to hope and hold out for the answer I want to hear.

In the meantime I'm going to go forget everything with gaming and alcohol. Go me!