' i am blunt but sharp, precise yet uncoordinate. I will make you hurt, i will make you bleed. i am you're worst enemy. You. '

truth be told i miss you.. truth be told i'm lyin.

I'm not a perfect person;
There are many things i wish i didn't do,
But i continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you.
And so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know:

I've found a reason for me,
to change who i used to be
A reason to start over new,
and the reason is you.

I'm sorry that i hurt you,
It's something i must live with everyday.
And all the pain i put you through,
I wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears,
that's why i need you to hear.

K SOO. i go to alex's to give her a smoke.
AAAAAAAAND.
on my way back home, started POURING rain.
So yeah i was pre much soaked.
andd, i seeen chris, tried to wave him down. didn't work out.
so i'm finally home! i run up my steps. NOPE trip on them.
lose my shoe.
FUCK up my thumb even more. FKN FUCK.
shittiest walk of my life.

facebook all fkn over again..

Have you ever:

1. taken a picture naked? nope
2. painted your room? yepp, teal and mineral grey
3. made out with a member of the same sex? fuck no.
4. drove a car? yepp
5. danced in front of your mirror? haahaa...ha... -cough cough-
6. have a crush? dumb question
7. been dumped? hyup.
8. stole money from a friend? No
9. gotten in the car with people you didn’t know? yes, but with a friend that knew them.
10. been in a fist fight? hahaaa. yes.
11. had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? once..
12. had feelings for a friend? if you have feelings for someone you obviously know them, so they're obviously your friend..
13. witnessed a crime? every day of my life.
14. made out with a stranger? nnno
15. met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yeah, so?
16. left your house with out telling your parents? yep
17. had a crush on your neighbour? nope
18. ditched school to do something more fun? haha yeah..
19. slept (not had sex) in a bed with a member of the opposite sex? yepp
20. seen someone die? no.
21. been on a plane? no
22. kissed a picture? uh no..
23. slept in until 3? try 6.. lol
24. miss someone right now? more than ever.
25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yes. lol
26. made a snow angel? who hasen't? lol
27. played dress up? to be honest i dont remember dressing up as a kid.. lol
28. cheated while playing a game? lol pfff, me? cheat? riiight... k yeah i did.
29. been lonely? yes, lots.
30. fallen asleep at work/school? every day
31. been to a bar? yep.
32. felt an earthquake? no
33. touched a snake? yeahh, i fkn want one.
34. ran a red light? the cab i was in did.. lol
35. been suspended from school? yep. stupid reason.
36. had detention? yes, lol i had 53 in a row at one point in st.mary's...lol
37. been in a car accident that you didn’t cause? nope. never even been in a car accident
38. hated the way you look? every morning. lol
39. been the person doing the crime? yes.
40. gone clubbing? no
41. been lost? yeep
42. been to the opposite side of the country? maybe the opposite side of town..
43. felt so sick you thought you might die? yeah
44. cried yourself to sleep? mhm
45. Can you play the drums? i wish
46. sang karaoke? lol there's a possibility i might have..
47. done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? yes... not to proud of those things..
48. laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? noo
49. caught a snowflake on your tongue? yeye
50. kissed in the rain? noo
51. sang in the shower? only if the music is louder than me
52. had sex in a park? uh
53. had a dream where you were married? no
54. glued your hand to something? my other hand
55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? nope, a popsicle.
56. ever gone to school partially naked? wtf
57. been a cheerleader? never.
58. sat on a roof top? yep yep.
59. didn’t take a shower for a week? now thats just discusting.
60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? no
61. played chicken? uh depends what game of chicken ur talkin bout, played a few.
62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? nope but that would suck
63. Can u play harmonica? hahah my mom sure can
64. broken a bone? neverr
65. been easily amused? hah, yes.
66. laughed so hard you cried? lol yeah
67. mooned/flashed someone? k i was like 5, and had way to much sugar.
68. cheated on a test? yes..
69: forgotten someone’s name? lol all the time
70. slept naked? yep.
71. gone skinny dipping? nopers
72. Did you graduate high school? just going into grade 10
73. blacked out from drinking? oh boy..
74. played a prank on someone? hhhhahaha.
75. gone to a late night movie? mhm
76. made love to anything not human? are you fkn mental?
77. failed a class? this year is the first time in my life i've failed a class.
78. choked on something you’re not supposed to eat? uhm, a nickel..
79. played an instrument for more than 10 hours in total? dont think so
80. been cheated on? not that i know of...
81. did you celebrate the 4th of July? 1st of july yes. fuck america. lol
82. thrown strange objects? depends what you think is strange..
83. felt like killing someone? every day.
84. felt like running away? yes..
86. did drugs? mhm.
87. had detention and not attend it? yeep
88. Have you ever owned addidas track suit? no
89. Have you ever had your eye brows threaded? no
90. cried about someone? yes
91. had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period? Nope.
92. dated someone you didn’t even like? there was this time.. thought i liked him, but nope.
93. had/have a dog? yes ;(
94. When was your last haircut? uhm i forgot. maybe a month or 2 ago.
95. own an instrument? ye
96. been in a band? yess
97. drank 25 sodas in a day? nope.
98. broken a CD? yes
99. shot a gun? yes
100. had feelings for one of your best friends? no. maybe, i dunno.. lol

If your parents checked your room right now, would they find something you don't want them to?
uhm, at the moment probably just weed.. and an empty bottle of gibsons under my bed... andd a beer can in my garbage.. andd. yeah thats about it. hah

Have you ever pierced something yourself?
tried..

Which condiment do you use the most of?
raaanch

When was the last time you had a conversation with your last ex?
2 days agoo i believe.

Have you ever kissed someone who smokes?
i'm the one that smokes. lol

Do you cry easily?
depends what i'm crying over..

Has the last person you kissed ever made you cry?
there was a time..

Did you see a boy last night that made you smile?
yess actually.

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and aren't around anymore?
Yes, think about them every waking moment.

Have you ever slept in a bed with the same sex?
yes

What is today's date?
May 19,2009

Are you ready to get out of this town?
not ready, but i want to.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
chris, jamie, daniel.

What are you doing tomorrow?
i dunno yet

How important is trust?
it's an essential thing in life that must be earned.

Are you the oldest of your siblings?
opposite

What is the song your listening to?
Hello, I'm in Delaware-City & Colour

What was the last drink you had?
water

When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life?
i dunno, maybe i haven't even reached that point yet.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
no

Does anyone know your password besides you?
yeah

Do you look at the keyboard when you type?
when i'm drunk.. lol

Did you have a good day yesterday?
it was an alright day i guess you can say..

Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
probably.

What is your current mood?
iick

What color shirt are you wearing?
blue

What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
hippy days, warped tour, smith fall fair, big valley.

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
depends who i'm talking to lol

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
laying in bed like i am now.

Did you have an exciting weekend?
not exactly the maylong i hoped for but it was iight!

Whens the last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing?
lol like 2 or 3 days ago. my uncle luc's pants, he has the same waste size as me!!

Do you miss anyone?
yes every day.

Have you held hands with anyone lately?
yeah

Where is your display picture taken?
Outside dollar giant before work.

What's your middle name?
marie

Funniest thing that happened in the last week?
hahaha.. don;t even ask!

Ever had a near death experience?
never 'saw the light' but if i puked i coulda died lol

Something you do a lot?
sleep.. eat.. smoke.. i dunno. lol

Angry at anyone?
yes

Who would you do anything for?
my family.

What's your biggest secret?
why would i put it on here if it's a secret?

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
depends..

Do you believe that you can change for someone?
you can, but you shouldn't have to..
and usually if they're asking you to change.. it's also to better yourself.

Describe your life for the past month in one word?
flabbergasted

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a B?
nicknames count?

Would you get married if you could right now?
no.

How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
aklbvfreweyuikmnbgt. ew. blah, fuck, grr, ouch

What's worse: Liars or cheaters?
cheaters are usually liars anyways..

When and whose was the last girls clothes you wore?
mine, now.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
sometimes.

What were you doing yesterday at 12:00 noon?
i dunno, eating or showering.. one of the 2..

Just because you make a bad decision once, does the choice you made become a part of who and what you are? I used to believe that people had free will, and others possessed the compassion and understanding to respect that.
I also used to think that the people who were supposed to be supporting and guiding you through the world weren’t going to be the ones holding your mistakes over your head, ready for them to drop, explode, and seep into the minds of the people that trusted and expected you to do better, be smarter, and overall fulfill a role you have always felt overshadowed and out of place in.

When the people you felt equal to at one point begin to think and act superiorly towards you, it makes you feel worthless, stupid, and confirms your suspicions that you were never good enough to begin with. Being betrayed and spoken down to by the people you once looked up to gives you the impression that despite anything you say or do to prove or redeem yourself, it just wont be enough.
Betrayal is a funny thing, really; although you are the one whose trust was back lashed in someone’s slanderous attempt to do what they think is right, you are still seeking acceptance and approval from the ones that did you wrong. Inadequacy is a terrible and demeaning feeling that no good person deserves to feel, and when another human being causes you to believe you are honestly below their standards it triggers something in your mind that causes you to lose hope in yourself.
If I could offer someone a simple piece of advice it would be to do what makes you happy. If you are content with yourself and your life, never let anyone take that feeling away from you. The only person that has the right to dictate your thoughts, actions, and decisions is you. Any individual that tries to make you think negatively of yourself is not worth any of the precious time you could be spending with the people that truly care and accept you for who you are regardless of who you were or who you’re going to be.
Live your life for today, because you can’t change the past and the future is unpredictable and ever changing. Learn to forget regret because every moment you spend questioning yourself is time you could be using to make the best of the situation, rather than focusing on what you consider to be the worst.
Life is shorter than you think, and if there is something you promise yourself you are going to do, making certain that you do it. There is nothing worse that wishing you did something differently when you no longer possess the ability to do anything about it. Drop the people that bring you down without looking back, because you’re better than that – contrary to what anyone else would like you to believe.

And last but not least, never give up on yourself. It may sound cliché, but anything you believe you can do, you can – it’s just up to you to put everything on the line to make it happen. In the end all you’re really going to have is yourself, so make sure you like who you’ve become. You’re the last person that’s going to always rely and have faith in you, so trust yourself and remember to follow your heart and intuitions whether your friends and family tell you its wrong or not – the only person that knows what’s right for you, is you.
You’re the one that’s going to get you where you want to go. When everyone else gives up and turns the other way, it’s going to be you fighting for what you want, and when you succeed you’ll only have yourself to thank. By now, I have come to realize that my twisted perceptions of trust and love have come undone and dwindled beneath me.
I’ve always been a person of one too many chances, and my trust isn’t hard to earn, but being proved so horribly wrong that it is okay to trust in anyone other than yourself self makes me take a second look at the people I live to make happy and put all of my trust into. Its been said that family is the strongest bond in existence – nearly unbreakable, and that blood is thicker than water. But when you can’t trust your family with everything inside you, or even go through one day without making each other feel equivalent to nothing, then is that connection even there to begin with?
I know that there are people I will never be good enough for, and I’m sorry for trying so hard to make you believe I’m anything besides my self, but I’d like to believe the only people who really count are the ones that make it known that they’d do anything for me, regardless of the obstacles that lay ahead of them – because I know the people I’d do anything in my power to help are the ones of true importance to my life. And when you know what you want out of life, who you want to spend it with, and have come to know and understand yourself – nothing else really seems to matter.

1. real name -tonya Marie gariepy
2. like it - I guess.
3. single or taken - complicated
4. zodiac sign - taurus
5. male or female - female
6. elementary –cj schurter & St Marys
7. middle – rmss
8. high - not achieved yet
9. college - not achieved yet!
10. hair color -brown with natural highlights?
11. eye color - blue green grey yellow!
12. hair length – below the shoulder 13. current worry - do I get that second chance?
14. race - uhm meti?
15. are you a health freak? no
16. height – 5'4-5
17. do you have a little crush on someone? not little and not a crush.
18. do you like yourself? I guess. 19. piercings - 2 but can't wear them!!
20. tattoos - nadda

First

22. first surgery - None
23. first piercings - My ears
25. first award - dunno
26. first sport - soccer
27. first pet – troy! StiLl have him <3
28. first vacation – BC?.
29. first teacher – mrs. Walenford-haunt. I dunno how to spell it!!
30. first crush - Reid in kindergarden!LOL

THIS OR THAT
31. orange or apple juice: both
32. rock or rap - both
33. country or screamo - screamo
34. nsync or backsteet boys - fuck that
44. Limewire or iTunes – both
45. soccer or baseball? Soccer

CURRENTLY
50. drinking – nothing
51. Im about to – do the next question
52. is MIA - nope I'm heRe at home.
53. singing - rise against-everchanging
54. typing – the answer to this question?

FUTURE
55. want kids - eventually
56. when - when I'm out of school and have a career
57. want to get married - Eventually 58. when – when I find the right one.
59. where do you want to live? Anywhere but heRe!!
60. how many kids do you want – 1 or 2
61. any name on the mind - no clue
62. what did you want to be when you were little - hmmm Scientist artist paluentologist archeologist. I dunno a lot of gists
64. mellow future or wild - both. Nice to have fun once in awhile!
66. something you would never try - crazy drugs and I dunno..
67. when do you wanna die - when I know its my time.

OPPOSIT SEX
68. lips or eyes- Eyes
69. hugging or kissing - Both
70. shorter or taller- Taller
71. tan skinned or light – don't matter
72. spontaneous or romantic- both
73. dark or light hair – dont care
74. muscular or normal - mediocre?
75. hook-up or relationship - Relationship
76. similar to you or different – everyones different no doubt about it. Stupid question.

HAVE YOU EVER
78. kissed a stranger - yep
79. drank bubbles - never drank them but ate the edible ones!
80. broken a bone - Nope
81. climbed up a tree - fuck yeah
82. broken someones heart - hopefully not
83. turned someone down - Yes
84. had your heart broken - not broken just hurt
85. liked a friend as more than a friend –Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
86. yourself -yes.
87. miracles -i guess you can call them that..
88. love at first sight - No,
89. santa claus - no
90. kiss on first date - yes if I think its going somewhere.
91. angels - no

LAST
92. text message - Kal
93. received call - Jared
94. call made - Craig
95. facebook message - Jamie
96. missed call - Kevin
97. last hungout with? Alex

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY 98. is there one or more people you want to be with right now? Yes just one
99. like someone -yes
100. love someone -thats a strong word. But I do love my family and friends that's for sure!

Yo its necro the sexorcist, the porn king, show me your breasteses, im the best there is the foul shit, bounce with me, degrading, depraving, debouchery, your naked on the couch with me. Bitch getting fucked in your ass thru your fishnets. cutting queefs, your bound to eat shit next. A tit fest, I'm fucking dumb blondes til my dick is numb hoe lick the scum sticking a gun in your cunt for fun. Fakin making believe Im raping you choking you makes you cum. Its edge play, be careful, fuck around and murder you by mistake and leave you dead in the bed slayed. Not my intentions. You'll lick prick til your lips rip the hips split in your cryptic. Explicit, sadistic, innuendos sluts in the windows bimbos dipped in timbos. Short black leather skirts, stomach tattoo, glitter panties sexy belt had to have you. Ridiculous pussy lips I predicted you be addicted to my dick once you lick it. Bent you over backwards upside down reverse is more perverse fucked on the floor first. To a raw verse rippin your clothes off blow my nose off on your hair then I doze off.


What's Your name (Whats Your Name)(The Sexorcist)
Who's Ya Daddy? (Who's Ya Daddy?)(necro)
Be real, is He Rich Like me?
Has he Taken, Anytime (Anytime),To Show, To Show You what You Need

The raunchiest, flaunt your tits. Im the horniest fornicating, torturing clits a porn genius. With a long penis diggin' up your organs jiggin you, stabbing you, friggin you, Im to big for you. You got a tight sphincter, you need one in the pink and one in the stink, till liquid magentas Drippin' outta your ass ill cum in your drink. piss in your face spit in your mouth fuck what you think. Shit on your blouse, then kick you outta my house naked and slut take it that's what initiations about. An official occasion to go all out, fuck a bitch in the ass 'til her colon falls out. Rubbin' oil all over you fat round ass, smack it, abuse it, lick it,then pound it fast. Stick it continuously when I get in you I strenuously pin you to the floor and generously fuck your G spot rapidly, happily, dapily to the boombapity beat. the sexorcist, the next to blitz and blow up some bitch go get your hair fixed prepare your lips. for fellatio you spacey hoe, the ratio of your brain to if usable is way too low your made to blow you're a delicious nutritious dish of fish an official bitch.

hmm.
i just don't like reading my blogs cause
it's usually about people bitching about how
sad they are or how much they love
someone that doesn't seem to notice them
SCREW OFF.

k dude.
it seems like a can't trust anyone anymore.
I think i'm going to stick with my family.
I don't need you, or your pitty. Just leave me alone.
I'm sick of being bitched at and put down because of something i didn't do.

life leaves you with hard decisions.
But if you think about it, both of them,
in the end, are going to leave you with shitty results.
But if i know that,
Why can't i make this one?

Most girls say they want a fairy tale, but you taught me that it's not really what I want.
I want someone who will make fun of me & laugh at my jokes even if they aren't funny;
Someone that wrestles with me & doesn't let me win just cause im a girl.
Yeah, riding off into the sunset on a white horse would be nice..
but skateboarding with you seems so much better