Steffen Hoing-Single-LTSS-Grade 12







i'll kill any f**ker who does this!

Guy: "Can we have sex right now?"
Girl: "Can we do what?"
Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?"
Girl: "Um.....no."
Guy: "Why?"
Girl: "Because, you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my friend......."
Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won' tell."
Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life to be my first."
Guy: "I'm not special to you?"
Girl: "You're my friend. That's all."
Guy: looks forward and keeps driving.
5 minutes pass.......
Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh.
Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me"
Guy: tries to kiss her.
Girl: screams, "Would you stop."
Guy: continues trying.
Girl: moves to the back seat
Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the
girl. Starts to kiss her.
Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this."
Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes."
Moves over to her and starts to unbutton her pants.
Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't."
Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard to get".
Girl: crying, continues to fight.
Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down.
Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!"
Guy: puts his hand over her mouth.
An hour passes.........
Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off.
Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, sobbing.
Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek.
Girl: pulls back, "Just take me home, now."
Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home.
2 months later.........
Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in 2 months."
Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason."
Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure to receive.
Doctor: "You are pregnant."
Girl: faints.
The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."
The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got her pregnant....then he lied about it. So completely depressed......the girl commits suicide by drug overdose.......
Girls, if this story touched you, repost it as "That's F*cked up"
Guys, if this story touched you, repost it as "I'll kill any f*cker who does this."




..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____|] = = = = = = = = = D
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
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If you would jump in front of a bullet for your girlfriend,
boyfriend or just a person you love, repost this onto your page



Sex is a S.E.N.S.A.T.I.O.N
Caused by T.E.M.P.T.A.T.I.O.N
To cause P.E.N.I.T.R.A.T.I.O.N
When a guy sticks his L.O.C.A.T.I.O.N
Into a girls D.E.S.T.I.N.A.T.I.O.N
To increase the P.O.P.U.L.A.T.I.O.N
For the next G.E.N.E.R.A.T.I.O.N
Do you get my E.X.P.L.A.N.A.T.I.O.N
Or do you need a D.E.M.O.N.S.T.R.A.T.I.O.N?


IS THIS FOR FUCKING REAL???? As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics. Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a fucking joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the ViennaBoys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: When did your last slave die?

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

send this on to anyone who you think will enjoy it as much as I did

Ways To Get To A Girls Heart--

1. Hugs her from behind.
2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING!
6. Write little notes.
7. Compliment her.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Say I love you.....and MEAN IT!
10. Brush the hair out of her eyes
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12. Love her with all your heart
Girls- add this if you think its sweet. Guys- add this if you would do any of it




10 Reasons To Date A Mountain Biker:
1. We are good with our hands.
2. We always keep a firm grip.
3. We like to get dirty.
4. We can ride for hours and not get bored
5. We like to go fast. Really fast.
6. Once we fall down we get right back up.
7. We are ready to go again after a quick relax.
8. Skill is definite.
9. Our timing is perfect.
10. Body protection doesnt slow us down



10 Reasons To Date A Snowboarder:
1. We know how to take pain
2. We know lots of "tricks"
3. We love to be on top
4. We have great balance and stabability
5. We dont mind gettin wet and dirty
6. We can keep at it for hours
7. We prefer to stay standing
8. We ride whats under us
9. We dont "play" anything
10. We can make it an ALL DAY thing


30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know!!

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.

2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.

3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.

5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.

6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.

7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.

8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and
nothing more.

9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns
looked cool.

10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.

11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............

12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.

13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.

14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.

15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.

16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."

17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same
every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.

18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.

19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.

20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.

21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.

22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.

23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.

24. PMS is not an excuse.

25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.

26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.

27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind

28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.

29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.

30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway