IF YOU THINK I ACTUALLY CARE........YOUR SADLY MISTAKEN









Im slowly phasing certain ppl out of my life, im sure you all know who you are

BUZZED: After a few beers, when i can feel the alcohol affecting me, but i can still drive, my brain generally works like normal, though perhaps a little slow

INEBRIATED: when i start feeling good, but i know my ability to drive is a bit impaired, so ill give my keys away. I begin to doubt my ability ti make good judgements. i am usually a much nicer person at this stage of drunkenness, though this changes quickly

DRUNK: is when i start feeling overly confident about myself and all of my abilities. other ppl begin to seem much funnier and more interesting. this is also when the ability to socialize in an appropriate manner starts breaking down

SHIT-WRECKED: when i believe that my abilities have become nearly superhuman, that i am the best looking guy in my geographical area, and that that hunchback girl over by the bar in really too hot. It is at this point that i cannot differentiate between an appropriate comment and an inappropriate one, so i just say whatever i feel like

COMPLETLY FUCKED UP: The ultimate drunk stage. any of several things can happen at this ultimate stage:
-black out
-hook up with ugly or fat girls
-fail to hook up with a hot girl because i pass out on them
-vomit
-make loud, boisterous, and thoroughly untruthful claims about myself
-start fights with small, defenseless people
-Say anything, no matter how offensive or mean, to anyone, no matter how helpless or undeserving

On a scale of 1-10, 10 meaning the most degrating act of sex known to man, 1 meaning your average friday night, me and your girlfriend got it on at about..... an 11 !!!