Going, Going... Gonorrhea!
(The Legend of Johnny Rocks)
(S. Demedash)

This is the story of a Man named ‘Johnny Rocks’
Who Drank too much one night & Woke up on a Dock
And though what happened that night remains a Mystery,
Ever since that day, He’s been Toting HIV
When Johnny learned he tested positive for AIDS
He Said “That won’t stop me from getting Laid!”
AIDS will only help me in reaching my goals
Of Ridding the Streets of the Hookers & the Hos

He’s Anti-Prostitution, Yet He then became a Pimp
Call Him a hypocrite but don’t be so quick to call him dim
He’s a man with a plan, Johnny ain’t no fool
Though some call AIDS a Burden Johnny calls them a Tool
So He drove down to the Corner of Higgins & Main
To talk to all the girls who were standing in the rain
With a hidden Agenda, he offered them Protection
But didn’t wear none & picked up a Yeast infection

CHORAS:
‘Cause He’s Going, Going… Gonorrhea!
He said “Goodnight Baby, In the Hospital I’ll see ya”
This is the story of Johnny; The AIDS infested Pimp
Who Swore to Take A Thousand More Hookers Down with Him

On His way home he was feelin’ pretty good
When he caught 2 men Pimpin’ in his Hood
He said, “Look here boys, this is my Turf!”
They said, “No way playa, we was here First!”
They decided to talk, so Johnny bought dinner for them
And He learned that these guys were prostituting men
They shared a hearty laugh, wiping tears from their eyes
And just 3 months later the 2 men died of S.T.I.’s

He’s Going, Going… Gonorrhea!
He said “Goodnight Baby, In the Hospital I’ll see ya”
This is the story of Johnny; The AIDS infested Pimp
Who Swore to Take A Thousand More Hookers Down with Him

Johnny was nearly fed up with the oh-so-pesky Cops
Sayin’ “They make my job so difficult; this has got to Stop!”
It’s my freedom & my right to Prostitute in Peace
But the Law didn’t agree, so he bought out the Police
Completely Copper free, He could Pimp without a Hassle
He started to make so much Cash that he bought himself a Castle
A Staff Accommodation where all his girls could live
Appropriately named “Johnny’s House of Hiv”

Johnny was becoming a legend in his own
Taking girls off the street & giving them a Home
At First People said his story was exaggeration,
But you know Johnny Rocks could back up his Reputation
And so the Legend of Johnny Rocks got spread the World ‘round
He got Resumes from Girls in European Towns
Hookers from Around the Globe came just to work for Him
And soon enough he became the world’s biggest Pimp

He’s Going, Going, Gonorrhea;
He’s Prostituting Women from North & South Korea
He’s got Solicitors from Spain & Bitches from Japan
Prostitutes from Russia, The Ukraine & Kazakhstan
From Cuba to Cambodia to Paraguay to Panama
Aruba, Macedonia, Uruguay and Canada
Albania, Romania, New Zealand & Nepal
Old Guinea, New Guinea… Johnny’s got ‘em All!!!

He’s Going, Going… Gonorrhea!
He said “Goodnight Baby, In the Hospital I’ll see ya”
This is the story of Johnny; The AIDS infested Pimp
Who Swore to Take A Thousand More Hookers Down with Him

Well Johnny was never forward about havin’ no disease
Never confessed to Gonorrhea or Herpes
Yet he’d never wear protection to shield further Infection
Always trying to build His STD Collection

But as Weeks turned into Months, and Months turned into Years
He began to raise the question “Why are we Still Here?”
“Everything thus far has gone just as Planned,
And by now I must have every single STD known to man”

In 10 years as a Pimp Johnny’d never rested
As so He went to get tested… and learned he was INFESTED!!!
With Hepatitis A & B, Every kind of STD
Clamitia especially, Syphilis, HIV
STDs & STIs – They even found 3 new kinds
Discoloration, Inflammation, Infestation, Itchy Thighs
Gonorrhea, Herpes, Crabs – Pubic Lice, Scabies, Scabs
Johnny had more STDs than were known to man

He’s Going, Going… Gonorrhea!
He said “Goodnight Baby, In the Hospital I’ll see ya”
This is the story of Johnny; The AIDS infested Pimp
Who Swore to Take A Thousand More Hookers Down with Him


When he saw the Results of the tests that had been run
He said “I don’t get it, I should be Dead & Done!”
But over time he had picked up so many STDs
That to every single one, he now had an immunity
And he’d given these immunities to his girls too
His Bitches were so Dirty that they were Clean as New
And Not one single Prostitute’s was Lost
In what was meant to be Johnny’s Hooker Holocaust

He’s Going, Going… Gonorrhea!
He said “Goodnight Baby, In the Hospital I’ll see ya”
This is the story of Johnny; The AIDS infested Pimp
Who Swore to Take A Thousand More Hookers Down with Him

Johnny Slumped & Johnny Frowned
The Doctor said “Turn that Upside Down!;
“Don’t you get it? You have Found
A Cure for Disease the World ‘Round!

And So They spent months doing Research in the Lab
And Soon enough, The Doc & Johnny Had
And Injectable Vaccine that could let ‘Infectees’ Live
Appropriately named “Johnny’s Hypoderm of Hiv”

And From that Moment on, the world was AIDS-Free
The Only Hazard of Intercourse was a Surprise Baby
And Johnny was hailed as a Miracle Healer
Everyone put aside the fact he was a Sex Dealer

He’s Going, Going… Gonorrhea!
He said “Goodnight Baby, In the Hospital I’ll see ya”
This is the story of Johnny; The AIDS infested Pimp
Who Swore to Take A Thousand More Hookers Down with Him

Later on that year, Johnny Won the Nobel Prize
For accidentally finding a cure for STIs
And Bought a Palace for his girls with the Prize money he’d won
With all the Vaccine money all his girls Retired Young
After which they & Johnny lived in Peace
In A Palace on the Hill, Buried in the Trees
And happily ever after, John was their Majesty
Until 2 weeks later when he died in a Gardening Tragedy

He’s Going, Going… Gonorrhea!
He said “Goodnight Baby, In the Hospital I’ll see ya”
This is the story of Johnny; The AIDS infested Pimp
Who Swore to Take A Thousand More Hookers Down with Him
He’s Going, Going… Gone.