High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing... everything else is just figure skating.

10) "Boy, I'd like to fill her net."

9) "Wanna see my Buffalo Sabre?"

8) "Want to go to my place for a one-timer?"

7) "He Scores, he shoots."

6) "I wouldn't mind being in her crease."

5) "I'd take her into the boards...headboards that is."

4) "She makes me wanna lose my stick, throw down and go at it."

3) "I'd like to put the Penalty in her Penalty Box".

2) "I wouldn't mind introducing her cups to my Lord Stanley."

1) "Damn...she's got some MIGHTY Ducks!"





The 15 Hockey Commandments

1. Thou shalt not have no other sports before thee.
2. Thou shalt take the name of the Lord Scotty Bowman, in vain (without fear of getting benched, scratched, or traded).
3. Thou shalt not throw the puck blindly up the middle.
4. Thou shalt not shoot pucks at the goalie's head during warm-ups.
5. Thou shalt honor copenhagen and skoal.
6. Thou shalt honor thy blue line and thy crease.
7. Thou shalt not enter the nuetral zone with thy head down
8. Thou shalt not throw sticks (unless thou wants to hurt thyself or see the rest of thy game from thy locker room).
9. Thou shalt not back down from a fight.
10. Thou shalt not disobey veterans.
11. Thou shalt not take stupid penalties in the third period.
12. Thou shalt drink beer.
13.Thou shalt not root for the maple leafs.
14 Thou shalt take thy man and not thy puck.
15 Thou shalt not lust after broads on the Jumbo Tron unless thy sloots have very large breasts.

10 reasons 2 date a hockey player

1.they always wear protection
2.they have great hands
3.there used 2 scoring
4.they have great stamina
5.they find the opening and get it in
6.they never miss the target
7.they no how 2 use there wood
8.they have long sticks
9.they no when 2 play rough
10. they can go 4 60 minutes and if neccessary 20 more