It's funny how quickly time flies by. And how quickly everything you thought you knew, everything you cared about, used to hold dear to you, can be flipped around.
It's funny how quickly you can realize all this, and how quickly you can bury it and move on, not care, leave it behind.
Stuck in this same old fucking daily routine. I know what I want, but what's expected of me, is keeping me down, pulling away. But not anymore, I need to break free.
Gonna follow my dreams and get the fuck out of town. This stale fucking city is one of lost cause, draining motivation, and not moving on.
I'm glad that you're happy.
I just wished I could've been the one to do that for you.
I am Jack's sense of underappreciation.
Open, open, open.
If this is what I've been missing out on, I'm never going back.
On a side note, you never have been, and I've realized you never will be, out of my mind.
I hope you know this, and I know you will know this is about you.
I spilled my guts, on your favourite blue jeans.
And you didn't mind.
Do this and re-post it with the title: 'I've done [?] out of the 132 stupid things.'
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Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) Drank Alcohol
SO FAR: 4
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Level 2
(x) Been Dumped
(x) Shoplifted
(x) Been Fired
(x) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 8
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Level 3
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
(x) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 12
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Level 4
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 15
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Level 5
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
(x) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 19
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Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Love/loved Someone Who You Can't Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 23
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Level 7
(x) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone 'Mudding'
(x) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 28
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Level 10
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO FAR: 33
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Level 11
(x) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
(x) Sent a letter/email to yourself
SO FAR: 35
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Level 12
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 39
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Level 13
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 42
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Level 13
(x) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 45
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Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
(x) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
SO FAR: 49
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Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 53
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Level 16
( ) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 57
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Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 61
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Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Father Christmas
(x) Watched The Sun Set/Sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or anywhere
SO FAR: 65
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Level 19
(x) Crashed A Party
(x) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
SO FAR: 69
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Level 20
(x) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Ridden an elephant
SO FAR: 72
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Level 22
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
(x) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
SO FAR: 76
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Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about
SO FAR: 80
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Level 24
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had/Been In A Tree House
( ) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 83
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Level 25
(x) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(x) Gone Streaking
(x) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 86
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Level 26
(x) Played Chicken
(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 91
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Level 27
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one (never did)
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 95
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Level 28
(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someone's Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(x) Tried to hurt yourself
SO FAR: 101
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Level 29
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
(x) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 104
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Level 31
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(x) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
SO FAR: 109
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Level 32
(x) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tires
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
TOTAL: 112
I'm another broken record on the dusty fucking shelf. Gave it all I had and now theres nothing left.
I came from no where so I'm fucking destined for nothing. I've been dead to a lifeless world and all of my heores are here in the dirt.
I've seen bad moons, then the fall.
If it wasnt for bad luck i'd have no fucking luck at all. Now there's nothing left.
Shit fucking luck.
Going nowhere in this world.
I feel like a puppet, part of some sadist's play.
No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do
Nothing is good.
If they say you can only truly enjoy life once you've lost it all and stopped caring,
I don't know how much more I can wait for the enjoyment to sink in.
Party 'till you pass out, drink 'till you're dead.
What happened to the rockstar.
Going fast, going hard.
What happened to not giving a fuck about tomorrow.
What happened to the cynical taste in everyones mouth.
This city is a graveyard, the bodies are all our dreams.
We've come to embrace second best.
The backup plan.
We've become accustomed to getting by.
Accepted images of false hope, broken promises.
Aspirations gone, we just fade away.
It's a wonderful time to be here
It's nice to be alive
Wonderful people everywhere
The way they comb their hair makes me want to say
It's a wonderful place
For you.
THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY.
(Lets see if you can get through it. If not; you're too scared about your past)
- Longest relationship: 1 and a half years.
- How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you? 3 I think, but words were just words.
- Have you ever thought you're going to marry the person you were with? First girlfriend I did. Oh to be young.
- Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? I'm not sure to be honest.
- Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? I believe so.
- Are you happier single or in a relationship? Single seems to be treating me the best so far.
- Have you ever been cheated on? I have never not been cheated on.
- Have you ever had your heart broken? I thought so at the time.
- Have you ever broken someone's heart? I'm not sure at all.
- Talk to any of your ex's? Surprisingly two actually.
- Think any of your ex's feel the same way about you the way they did when you were dating? Probably not.
- Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? If I feel it's worth it then I believe I am.
- Have you dated people who were not good to you? Hah.
- Have you been in an abusive relationship? According to the last answer emotionally counts so I guess so.
- Have you dated someone older then you? Not dated.
- Dated someone younger then you? Yeah.
- Do you regret anything that you have or haven't done with a boyfriend or girlfriend? No.
- Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I never used to until I got an extremely appreciated second chance.
- Believe in love at first sight? If you asked me this 3ish years ago I would've said no.
- Ever dated two people at once? No.
- Ever been given an Engagement ring? I would be way too freaked out.
- Do you have something to say to any of your ex's? Not really.
- Ever stolen someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend? Yeah.
- Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? Yeah.
- Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? Depends on if it's actually real or you convincing yourself you're "heartbroken"
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Garrett Micheal Resler
Birth date: June 1st, 1988
Current Location: Okotoks/Calgary, Alberta
Eye Color: Everything between blue, green and gray..
Hair Color: Dirty blonde.
Righty or Lefty: Right handed.
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears: Letting my doubts get the best of me.
Your weakness: Self-doubt, over analyzation.
Your perfect pizza: Tons of cheese, on the brink of overcooked pepperoni.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Continue never turning down opportunities.
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts first waking up: God damnit it's cold and I left my coat in my car.
Your best physical feature: My eyes or teeth.
Your bedtime: Whenever my mind decides to let me fall asleep.
Your most missed memory: The ones I can't remember.
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: Rum and Coke.
McDonald's or Burger King: Wendy's.
Single or group dates: Depends on both situations.
Adidas or Nike: Nike.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Nestea.
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: Yes.
Cuss: A fair bit.
Take a shower: Every now and then.
Have a crush: I guess so.
Like(d) school: Post secondary, yeah.
Do you believe in yourself: In myself as far as my aspirations go, 100%. As far as relationships go, let's just say it's less.
Think you're a health freak: Furthest from.
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Gone to the mall: Unfortunately.
Been on stage: Yeah.
Eaten Sushi: I think so.
Been dumped: No.
Gone skating: Skateboarding, yeah.
Dyed your hair: Considered it.
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a stripping game: Absolutely.
Gotten beaten up: A few times.
Changed who you were to fit in: Probably when I was really little and hadn't "found myself". Now I won't change for the world.
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD
Age your hoping to be married: Whenever.
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY
Best eye color: Depends on the girl.
Best hair color: I'm a big fan of really dark or really light.
Short or long hair: Fully depends on the girl.
LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING
1 MINUTE AGO: Laughing at an answer on the previous one.
1 HOUR AGO: Drinking a beer talking on msn.
1 WEEK AGO: I'm sure it involved some form of party.
1 YEAR AGO: I was in San Francisco.
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE
I FEEL: Really bummed out realizing a year ago today I was wearing shorts, skateboarding in San Francisco without a car in the world.
I HATE: There's really not many things I legitimately hate. Mustard and stairs.
I HIDE: My problems.
I NEED: To get out of this place.
ClosedClosedClosedClosedClosedClosedClosedClosedClosedClosed.
They always say you want what you can't have.
What happens when you need the things you can't have?
This is so different.
Nothing compares.
But it's driving me crazy.
I don't know what to call this.
I don't know what this is.
This feeling of nothing.
An empty shell with nowhere to look.
Nothing to look forward to.
Nothing.
Fuck this shit I need to learn to get over these moods.
Self-defeat and destruction is getting old.
But it's a constant.
It's something I know I have.
And that's not saying much.
I need a constant in my life.
And I'm fucking sick of searching.
I guarantee you that you're not going to find another person who cares about you like I do.
I think you know that as well, but I don't know.
I would give you the world a hundred times over.
And for the first time ever, I'm learning patience, and I'm learning to wait.
Because I know it's going to be worth it.
One day I'll have my time to shine.
